Government Reform

Is This Anyway To Run the War on Terrorism?

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Hoo-larious hijinks from the Maxwell Smarts at Transportation Security Adminstration. Turns out when they're not seizing breast milk from airline passengers, they're throwing out sensitive documents improperly:

Homeland Security officials are being warned not to toss secret documents that could compromise transportation security into the ordinary trash after hundreds of such papers marked "sensitive" reportedly were found in a city trash container near the Orlando International Airport in Florida.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) used its most recent newsletter to tell employees not to throw away outdated materials stamped as "Sensitive Security Information" (SSI).

"There have been recent news stories about a young person who went Dumpster diving near a major airport and found an airport binder that contained documents marked as [SSI]", the newsletter said.

More here.

TSA Follies in detail here.

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  1. “There have been recent news stories about a young person who went Dumpster diving near a major airport and found an airport binder that contained documents marked as [SSI]”, the newsletter said.

    But the good news is that he found all that perfectly good airline food they were throwing out.

  2. If you dine from a Dumpster you dine with Osama.

  3. What is most shocking is that the reporter properly capitalized Dumpster(R).

  4. Let’s write captions for that photo.

    I’ll start:

    “I should have finished school.”

  5. “Why couldn’t that nice young man be the one patting me down?”

  6. Well, the TSA person has her hands folded like she’s praying, and the old lady has her arms outstretched like Jesus on the Cross.

    How’s that for an inkblot response.

  7. “Jeez, ma’am, it’s not that cold in here, but at least the itch in my hand is gone.”

  8. “Excuse me ma’am? Your breasts are leaking fluids. I’m going to have to confiscate those or ask you to drain them out before boarding.”

  9. “Excuse me ma’am? Your breasts are leaking fluids.

    You are limited to as many 3 ounce bottles as will fit into a one quart bag . . . .

  10. Old lady: “Hey, you’re that J-lo girl, aren’t you? Can I get your autograph?”

  11. “They’re real, and they’re spectacular!”

  12. “Ma’am, I found a lump.”

  13. Thought bubble from screener: “And block Karate Kid crane kick!”…

  14. “I’m gonna Karate chop this bitch in half– take that, Mrs. Howell!”

  15. “Ma’am, were you aware that your necklace glows in the dark?”

  16. “Hmm, ma’am, I see you have furniture disease…your chest is in your drawers.”

  17. Old lady: “Brains….Brains….”
    Screener: “Oh, stop it already! Here’s a bag of peanuts.”

  18. “Every time the TSA hires someone, a job opens up for an immigrant.”

  19. Amendment regarding Islam!

    http://tinyurl.com/2qj2nx

    A Proposed Constitutional Amendment

    Background and justification to Amendment 28

    Whereas Religion is defined as an institution dedicated to improving social conscience and promoting individual and societal spiritual growth in a way that is harmless to others not participating in or practicing the same;

    Whereas the United States of America was founded on the ideals of individual rights, including the individual right to practice ones religion of choice, or no religion, and that there would be no compulsion of religion, nor state sanctioned religion, nor a religious test for participation in the body politic;

    Whereas Islam includes a complete political and social structure, encompassed by its religious law, Sharia, that supersedes any civil law and that Islam mandates that no secular or democratic institutions are to be superior to Islamic law;

    Whereas Islam preaches that it and it alone is the true religion and that Islam will dominate the world and supplant all other religions and democratic institutions;

    Whereas Saudi Arabia, the spiritual home of Islam does not permit the practice of any other religion on its soil and even moderate Muslims states such as Turkey and Malaysia actively suppress other religions;

    Whereas Islam includes as its basic tenet the spread of the faith by any and all means necessary, including violent conquest of non-believers, and demands of its followers that they implement violent jihad (holy war) against those un-willing to convert or submit to Islam, including by deception and subversion of existing institutions;

    Whereas on 9/11/2001 19 Muslim hijackers acting in the name of Islam killed 3,000 Americans, and numerous other acts of terrorism have been directed at the American people around the world;

    Whereas representatives of Islam around the world including Osama Bin Laden (architect of 9/11), the government of Iran including Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, HAMAS, Hezbollah, and other Islamic groups have declared jihad (war) on America, and regularly declare that America should cease to exist;

    Whereas there is no organized Islamic opposition to violent proponents of Islam;

    Therefore: Islam is not a religion, but a political ideology more akin to Fascism and totally in opposition to the ideals of freedom as described in the United States Constitution, especially the Bill of Rights.

    Be it resolved that the following Amendment to the Constitution be adopted:

    Article I

    The social/political/ideological system known around the world as Islam is not recognized in the United States as a religion.

    The practice of Islam is therefore not protected under the 1st Amendment as to freedom of religion and speech.

    Article II

    As representatives of Islam around the world have declared war, and committed acts of war, against the United States and its democratic allies around the world, Islam is hereby declared an enemy of the United States and its practice within the United States is now prohibited.

    Article III

    Immediately upon passage of this Amendment all Mosques, schools and Muslim places of worship and religious training are to be closed, converted to other uses, or destroyed. Proceeds from sales of such properties may be distributed to congregations of said places but full disclosure of all proceeds shall be made to an appropriate agency as determined by Congress. No compensation is to be offered by Federal or State agencies for losses on such properties however Federal funding is to be available for the demolishing of said structures if other disposition cannot be made.

    The preaching of Islam in Mosques, Schools, and other venues is prohibited. The subject of Islam may be taught in a post high school academic environment provided that instruction include discussion of Islams history of violence, conquest, and its ongoing war on democratic and other non-Islamic values.

    The preaching or advocating of Islamic ideals of world domination, destruction of America and democratic institutions, jihad against Judaism, Christianity and other religions, and advocating the implementation of Sharia law shall in all cases be punishable by fines, imprisonment, deportation, and death as prescribed by Congress. Violent expressions of these and other Muslim goals, or the material support of those both in the United States and around the world who seek to advance these Islamic goals shall be punishable by death.

    Muslims will be denied the opportunity to immigrate to the United States.

    Article IV

    Nothing in this amendment shall be construed as authorizing the discrimination against, of violence upon, nor repudiation of the individual rights of those Americans professing to be Muslim. The individual right of conscience is sacrosanct and the practice of Islam within the privacy of home and self is strictly protected to the extent that such individuals do not violate the prohibitions described in Article III.

    “And thou shalt call him Ishmael and he will be a wildman. His hand against every man and every man’s hand against his.”

    Genesis 16:12

    “You aren’t going to like what comes after America.”

    Leonard Cohen

  20. “The first action they’ve seen in a long while. I wish my husband wasn’t dead.”

    (Ah, crap… I didn’t get my post in before the retard showed up.)

  21. That ammendment is longer than the rest of the Constitution!

  22. Who is this douchebag?

  23. Isn’t she just signaling (badly) that a safety has been scored?

    “Very good ma’am. Now show me how the train goes.”

  24. i wonder what the means for catholics?

  25. Memories from the Minneapolis airport…. “Ma’am, I’m going to have to touch you here…”

    Just because I was wearing a fucking underwire!

    Now I’m a nursing mama I routinely tote 5 ozs in one side and 3 or 4 in the other. I guess I’ll be on the no-fly list until my son is weaned.

    Also, somebody needs to shoot the dog – he’s obviously gone rabid.

  26. “After I retract the landing gears, flap your wings and fly, little birdie.”

  27. “You might feel a little pressure.”

  28. “I can haz metal objects!”

  29. Leonard Cohen,

    I agree with you.

    However, I feel that u should add Judaism and Christianity. …Don’t have any problems with Hinduism or Buddism.

    Christianity and the Inquisition, holy wars, conquest and killing of native people throughout the americas, etc, etc etc has killed more people than all Islamic Terror Attacks combined. Plus they are a bunch of nosey bodies that don’t allow anything.

    Judaism is about as suicidal as Islam…as for the supporters of Israel (and it’s existence) will FIGHT TO the DEATH to keep Israel alive.
    Although Israel is really not a place amonst a bunch of Islamic Savages…Israel is in the Heart…Too bad the Jewish extremest don’t believe this…and would rather live their, get bombed, run the risk of Nuclear Holicaust, and even Involve Citizens of the US in their suicide mission…Just for a Jewish State.

    Funny, but Israel is the ONLY COUNTRY in the WORLD that is allowed to discriminate against any citizen that’s not Jewish. Didn’t the US and Europe BOYCOTT South Africa for this?

    So please, classify the Islamic, Christian, and the Jewish Faith as NON-RELIGIONs. Considering that they are ALL SUICIDAL, Hatefull, Prejudice, ethno-centric, and WAR-LIKE…they truely don’t believe in GOD…They don’t believe IN ANYTHING….

  30. wir in ur arportz

    slappn ur b00bz!~

    lolz!!1!

  31. d00dz, you gave me the best laugh all week.

  32. Old lady: “Ha! Pray, little girl — BUT WHERE IS YOUR BREAST GOD NOW??”

  33. All your boobs are belong to us.

  34. “I love these new shirts with breast-mounted pottery wheels.”

  35. We’re pretty lucky to be living in a rational, consensus-based society where the good guys are clearly marked by their uniforms. Imagine the fear and insecurity in which we’d be living if instead we had to submit to anyone, wearing anything. Why, that would be anarchy.

  36. Ban all high altitude commercial and private air flights, now.
    Stop this search crap and 10% of green house gasses as well.
    Use the airports for what? drag strips? flea markets?

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