No One Will Really Be Free Until Nerd Persecution Ends

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Kentucky held gubernatorial primaries yesterday and Republicans re-nominated scandal-plagued Gov. Ernie Fletcher, which isn't that interesting in itself. What is interesting is how Fletcher won back the hearts of his party faithful: By portraying himself as a huge nerd who gets yelled at by bullies all the time.

This is… basically crazy, isn't it? We don't even know what Young Ernie was being taunted about. Was it because he had glasses? Did he eat the frog after the science class dissected it? Did they catch him rubbing his naughty bits against the boys' room wall? What are the mean kids screaming? "Hey, Ernie! When you grow up you'll be indicted for conspiracy, official misconduct and political discrimination! Fag!"

Also note the spirited defense of the "keep your head down and don't mess with people" strategy: A tacit endorsement of Ron Paul's foreign policy.

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  1. As a Kentuckian, I’m a little embarrassed to see our red-state Republican governor braggin’ that he ignored the bullies because “fightin’s not his way.” If I was his Democratic opponent, I’d put up a commercial with Kenny Rogers singing “Sometimes you gotta fight when you’re a man.”

    (If you misspell “Coward of the County” when you’re Googling the lyrics, you get a more interesting version, also appropriate to discussions of Republican manhood: http://bootnewt.hostingzero.com/cowardofthecountry.htm ).

  2. Corrupt hiring practices vs. the Queen of pork

    I discovered last year that when I moved 8 years ago and reregistered as a Libertarian, they failed to take me out of the Democrat Book. So, I still didnt get to vote for the choice above in the GOP primary.

    I had a 6 way race of losers to vote for. I considered voting for a candidate in order to get him to 40% to avoid a runoff election and save the state money (Beshear got 41% so I wasnt needed). I considered voting for a guy who knocked up Miss America despite everyone thinking he was gay. Instead I voted for humor, because Governor Gatewood Gailbreath would be funny.

  3. “Naughty bits”? How about “penis,” Davie? What’s wrong with “penis”?

  4. I think this is indicative of the evolving shift in political posturing. A shift in strategy from “vote for me because i am superman” to “vote for me because I am a human like you.” Instead of pretending that he’s a bad ass I guess everybody knows he’s a weenie, so play up the fact that he’s a weenie and that there’s a quiet human strength in being intelligent?

  5. Convicted lifelong Kentuckian as well.

    They weren’t really about Fletcher as nerd or picked-on smart kid. The ads were dizzying displays of Republican self-delusion. The ads implied that critics don’t really have a problem with the governor and his policies (or his vast corruptions), just a irrational personal animus on par with childhood bullies.

    When asked yesterday where my “I voted” sticker was, I replied “I’m going to be stabbed either way, I don’t care who’s holding the knife.”

    For more wacky Kentucky politics, see Bunning, Jim.

  6. “Naughty bits”? How about “penis,” Davie? What’s wrong with “penis”?

    “Naughty bits” is funnier, maybe?

  7. stephen,

    Mechanical Engineer = weenie
    Air Force Fighter Pilot = superman

    I guess when you are both, you can choose which way to go. He’s also an MD and a lay minister (although he has been a politician more than any of the others) so I guess that leans him to the weenie side?

  8. Weigel’s just a shill for big bully.

  9. SugarFree,

    I dont think you can get any wackier than our 1987-1991 governor.

    None of the candidates this year have ever kidnapped themselves even.

  10. I got beat up by a girl once, can I run for office and win now?

    And I volunteer stinky-stick for phallic reference of the year award.

  11. “Naughty bits” is funnier, maybe?

    Mmm? Rude bits.

  12. We don’t even know what Young Ernie was being taunted about. Was it because he had glasses? Did he eat the frog after the science class dissected it? Did they catch him rubbing his naughty bits against the boys’ room wall? What are the mean kids screaming? “Hey, Ernie! When you grow up you’ll be indicted for conspiracy, official misconduct and political discrimination! Fag!”

    He looks like a sensitive and studious loner — obviously a Jew.

    And if you listen very carefully, the bullies are all yelling typical anti-Jewish slurs, like, “According to the U.S. Census and the Jewish American Population survey, your average household income is 170 percent of the national average, so my ignorant zero-sum view of economics leads me to believe you are somehow stealing your wealth from me, you thieving Jewish bastard!” And also, “Commentary is a boring magazine!”

  13. Just once, I’d like to read about my home state on Reason.com and not come away going, “What in THE hell???”

  14. Keith,

    I dont know if this will make you feel better or worse, but our state does have The Greatest News Story Ever

    It appears the archives have killed the formatting in the story. And some of the punctuation. Not sure what is up with that. But, it doesnt take anything away from the greatness.

  15. “Naughty bits”? How about “penis,” Davie? What’s wrong with “penis”?

    Well, the way he just sat there and absorbed all of that taunting, he kind of seems like a pussy. So maybe Dave’s not sure Ernie has a penis. Dave’s just hedging his bets.

  16. Props to Steve Henry for marrying a hot chick who was born the same year he turned 21. He’d get my vote.

  17. Oh, and she has that cool Laura Bush thing going with her vehicular homicide of a guy on a bicycle.

  18. robc:

    I don’t know if MEs are weenies, but I thought it was…..

    Mild mannered reporter = Superman
    Air Force Fighter Pilot* = Green Lantern

    As for the gov’s race, I’ve heard of wedge issues, but never wedgie issues.

    Kevin

    *OK, Hal Jordan was a test pilot when he got his ring, but later stories explained he was ex-USAF. Alan Scott was an engineer, but I think he was a CE, `cause he built bridges and stuff. Seems to have switched to EE later on, when he got involved in radio.

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