Ron Paul

Nice Grave! Think I'll Do A Little Dance On It.

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Yesterday, on the death of Jerry Falwell, I asked:

Quick question: Whose opinion on this are you most excited to hear?

1) Christopher Hitchens
2) The Westboro Baptist Church
3) Larry Flynt
4) These cute little guys

Our first entry is in via Hitchens' interview with Anderson Cooper.

Here's the transcript for all of you boycotting YouTube until they start putting Ron Paul videos on the front page.

COOPER: Christopher, I'm not sure if you believe in heaven, [ed—WTF?] but if you do, do you think Jerry Falwell is in it?

CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS, AUTHOR, "GOD IS NOT GREAT": No. And I think it's a pity there isn't a hell for him to go to.

COOPER: What is it about him that brings up such vitriol?

HITCHENS: The empty life of this ugly little charlatan proves only one thing, that you can get away with the most extraordinary offenses to morality and to truth in this country if you will just get yourself called reverend.

Who would, even at your network, have invited on such a little toad to tell us that the attacks of September the 11th were the result of our sinfulness and were God's punishment if they hadn't got some kind of clerical qualification?

People like that should be out in the street, shouting and hollering with a cardboard sign and selling pencils from a cup.

The whole consideration of this—of this horrible little person is offensive to very, very many of us who have some regard for truth and for morality, and who think that ethics do not require that lies be told to children by evil old men, that we're—we're not told that people who believe like Falwell will be snatched up into heaven, where I'm glad to see he skipped the rapture, was found on the floor of his office, while the rest of us go to hell.

How dare they talk to children like this? How dare they raise money from credulous people on their huckster-like (UNINTELLIGIBLE) radio stations, and fly around in private jets, as he did, giggling and sniggering all the time at what he was getting away with?

Do you get an idea now of what I mean to say?

COOPER: Yes, no, I think—I think you're making yourself very clear. I mean, I…

And at this point Cooper is crushed by a giant ACME brand anvil. "Beep Beep!" says Hitchens.

Our second entry is in via a press release from the Westboro Baptist Church (PDF link).

There is little doubt that Falwell split Hell wide open the instant he died. The evidence is compelling, overwhelming, and irrefragable. To wit:

1 Falwell was a true Calvinistic Baptist when he was a young preacher in Springfield, Missouri; and sold his soul to Free-Willism (Arminianism) for lucre.

2. Falwell bitterly and viciously attacked WBC because of WBC9s faithful Bible preaching—thereby committing the unpardonable sin—otherwise known as the sin gainst the Holy Ghost.

3. Falwell warmly praised Christ-rejecting Jews, pedophile-condoning Catholics, money-grubbing compromisers, practicing fags like Mel White, and backsliders like Billy Graham and Robert Schuler, Etc. All for lucre—making him guilty of their sins.

And the third entry is in:

The Reverend Jerry Falwell and I were arch enemies for fifteen years. We became involved in a lawsuit concerning First Amendment rights and Hustler magazine. Without question, this was my most important battle – the l988 Hustler Magazine, Inc., v. Jerry Falwell case, where after millions of dollars and much deliberation, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled in my favor.

My mother always told me that no matter how much you dislike a person, when you meet them face to face you will find characteristics about them that you like. Jerry Falwell was a perfect example of that. I hated everything he stood for, but after meeting him in person, years after the trial, Jerry Falwell and I became good friends. He would visit me in California and we would debate together on college campuses. I always appreciated his sincerity even though I knew what he was selling and he knew what I was selling.

The most important result of our relationship was the landmark decision from the Supreme Court that made parody protected speech, and the fact that much of what we see on television and hear on the radio today is a direct result of my having won that now famous case which Falwell played such an important role in.

– Larry Flynt

No comment from the Teletubbies.

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  1. Man. I hope Hitch never gets pissed at me.

  2. There’s an article by Hitch on Falwell at Slate today too.

  3. The second group on your list has weighed in as well. And, they are still bat shit crazy.

  4. Thanks, Gimme Back. Posted it.

  5. Thanks for the transcript David. I look forward to the Larry Flynt interview. Presumably that will end when Cooper smashes into the tunnel painted on a brick wall that Larry rolled into after planting a big wet one on the lips.

  6. Wow, Larry Flynt as the calm, measured voice of the bunch. I now think I’ve seen it all.

  7. Every fucking word of that was spot on. The Hitch is a guilty pleasure for me whenever he talks about religion or writes literature reviews, but the rest of the time, he should call in sick.

    And no one should ever feel bad about someone dancing on Falwell’s grave. Falwell himself made a career out of doing just that. Funny how gaping the memory hole is on this point. With him gone, the world is a much better place.

  8. I’m sorry, but the real “Hitch” is Alfred Hitchcock, not Christopher Hitchens.

    Though I’ll allow him that if he stars in a new series called Starsky and Hitch.

  9. Wow, so Hitchens is closer to WBC than to Flynt. Who’d’a thunk it?!?

  10. ProGLib:

    how about Zaorski and Hitch?

  11. I’m not voting until we’ve heard from the Teletubbies.

  12. My God! I’m embarrassed to admit that Larry Flynt has more class in his little finger than Hitchens and Westboro Baptist Church combined! Our level of political discourse has sunk to abyssmal depths if a pornographer is the only one who can find something nice about a dead man. Sheesh.

    I’m saying this as Christian, too! I didn’t like Falwell’s politics, but he was hardly alone in the big government club.

  13. VM,

    Well, I was thinking more along the lines of a Paul Michael Glaser joint.

  14. So OK, Falwell got his ticket punched, Bakker has to check in with his parole officer, and Robertson is getting fitted for a long sleeved jacket and a rubber room even as we speak.

    Is it too much to hope that the institutions these men built, and the influence over our elected officials they wield, will dry up and blow away?

  15. The Telletubbies have not released a statement because Tinky-Winky is at a Christian clinic for “reparative theraphy” seeking to cure his gender issues, issues made cruelly public by Mr. Falwell. Mr. Winky has been through the program before with out much success but on the urging of his parents, member of Falwell’s church, he is giving the program one last try.

  16. Who would, even at your network, have invited on such a little toad to tell us that the attacks of September the 11th were the result of our sinfulness and were God’s punishment if they hadn’t got some kind of clerical qualification?

    Yeah, everyone knows that the attacks of Setember 11th weren’t the result of our sinfulness. They were a result of our sinful foreign policy. Ron Paul even said so last night.

  17. ah!

    “Unsere F?higkeit zu lieben ist unsere wahrhaftigste, unsere gr??te Macht als menschliche Wesen.” PMG

    from hier

  18. And the eulogy from the Teletubbies can be found at:
    http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2007/05/eulogy-for-rev-falwell.html

    Tinky Wink never sounded better 😉

    hugs,
    Shirley Knott

  19. Falwell molested me…

  20. I approve of both Hitchen’s and Flynt’s remarks. That’s just how I roll.

  21. Hitchens’, rather. Dangit.

  22. …he was hardly alone in the big government club.

    That’s a little disingenuous Brandybuck. It wasn’t just about big government.

    Leftists want big government to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and educate everyone into thinking just like they do. Jerry wanted the government to smite everyone different than him.

    A hate monger, heading up an organization called “The Moral Majority”, has a lot to answer for. Or did have, no point holding his feet to the fire now.

  23. VM,

    There simply is no second-tier American celebrity who is not worshiped as a god somewhere in Europe. Thus does the United States dominate the world–not through its military, not through its economic might, but through its has-been stars.

    Don’t hasselhoff me about this opinion–I’m not the lewis bit wrong.

  24. we had a forbidden love, the kind of love they write books about…..

    p.s. Dipsy, you’re a dirty whore

  25. Once again, I am proud to say that I voted for Flynt in the 2003 gubernatorial recall.

  26. Don’t hasselhoff me about this opinion–I’m not the lewis bit wrong.

    hokae!

    /brays happily and ambles back into the woods

  27. Our level of political discourse has sunk to abyssmal depths if a pornographer is the only one who can find something nice about a dead man. Sheesh.

    Don’t worry. I don’t think Falwell will care what people say about him, being dead and all.

    I mean, what better time to speak ill of someone? Dead people can’t punch you.

  28. … no point holding his feet to the fire now.

    But bacon smells so good.

  29. Salon’s King Kaufmann spoke to Tinky Winky last night.

  30. Hey Reasonoids!

    He’s dead now, so why keep masturbating over the corpse?

  31. On the plus side, I learned a new word from the otherwise barely coherent WBC press release: they didn’t make up “irrefragable”, it apparently means irrefutable.

    On the minus side, I had to read about Falwell.

  32. Rosey Palm | May 16, 2007, 4:40pm | #
    Hey Reasonoids!
    He’s dead now, so why keep masturbating over the corpse?

    Obviously Rosey doesn’t know the level of BATIN that goes on here.

    /wanders back to bunk. now where’s the cheetos?

  33. I actually felt a little guilty about the little thrill I felt at his death, and in fact I told a friend that expressing it out loud was kind of “unseemly”–until I refreshed my memory about what a truly awful human being he was. Thus:

    Hitchens (win)
    God Hates Fags (place)
    Flynt (show)

    This line of Flynt’s is especially disappointing: “I always appreciated his sincerity even though I knew what he was selling and he knew what I was selling.” Uh, Larry, he was a con man – selling false hope to gullible Americans. You sell an honest product.

  34. We’ll all just have to wait until Tinky Winky gets out of rehab, won’t we?

  35. He’s dead now, so why keep masturbating over the corpse?

    Let me ponder…..

    [scratches head]

    It’s a big corpse and takes a lot to fully coat?

  36. I absolutely detest those who believe that “sincerity” somehow absolves people of evil.

    Those planes were flown into the Twin Towers by people who were very “religious” and “sincere”, y’know.

    Sincerity in belief means jack shit.

  37. “Obviously Rosey doesn’t know the level of BATIN that goes on here.”

    Batin may refer to:

    – Batin, Romania, a town in Gala?i County, Romania in the Covurlui area

    – Batin people, an ethnic group in Jambi Province on the island of Sumatra, Indonesia

    – Batiniyya, an esoteric sect of Shi’i Islam

    Could you be more specific?

  38. BATIN may also refer to:

    – an abbreviation of “debating”

    – a technique used to lure someone into a trap

  39. “Dipsy the green telletuby | May 16, 2007, 3:52pm | #

    Falwell molested me…”

    Dipsy dressed like a tubbie headed ho and was clearly askin for it.

    Oh….and thank God for Larry Flynt and his fight for my right to laugh hysterically at others.

    “Is it too much to hope that the institutions these men built, and the influence over our elected officials they wield, will dry up and blow away?”

    tsk tsk tsk.
    Warren, you should know by now the beauty of it is that we can all say, “I am but a weak sinner. We all fall short of the glory of God.” The rules are written in such a way as to make christianity infallible. I offer as proof of the existense of God and the ultimate truth of christianity: there is a written or implied cop-out for EVERY possibility in human lives. Only God hisself could have written such a thing. and all tax free thank you very much. “…render unto caesar what is caesar’s…”yeah……..right.

    BTW, Jimmy Swaggart is on every morning at six o’clock on cable here.

  40. Leftists want big government to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and educate everyone into thinking just like they do.

    That may be the most disingenuous description of leftism I have ever read. Its spintastic, and pretty much on par with saying that Falwell just wanted everyone to go to heaven.

  41. “…educate everyone into thinking just like they do” isn’t creepy enough for you?

  42. Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that we’re having a GRAND old time down here in the great below. The new resident here is just a laugh a minute! He’s running around screaming his head off about he doesn’t belong here and how he’s so frigging important and that he belongs someplace with wings and halos and fluffy clouds. Oh what a vivid imagination Jerry has! Hey, we’re thinking of pairing him up with Saddam Hussein so he can sort of get familiar with the routine down here, since they have so much in common and they get the same “star” treatment. Oh, wait a minute, his gag slipped off again. Jerry… Jerry! You have to let the molten lava sit in there!

  43. i think most of us are overlooking Flynt’s true genius here–that he took the moral high ground at all. i hope, truly, that he did that as a superbly wrought joke. this is the man who commissioned fake ads of Falwell humping his mother in an outhouse.

    i, for one, appreciate the subtle bash on Falwell–Flynt turned the upholding by the Supreme Court of the 1st amendment in matters of parody (to what extent that proved lasting, we shall see, i suppose) into Falwell’s life’s greatest work! ha! good one, Flynt.

  44. Wow, so Hitchens is closer to WBC than to Flynt. Who’d’a thunk it?!?

    Hitchens and WBC are two sides of the same sheet of paper: they face different directions, but they’re made of the same stuff. His writings on religion are structurally right at home with sectarian apologists. Ignore what he’s saying, but instead focus on how he says it and his logical structures, and he is right at home with them. He just happens to be an apologist for non-religion…

  45. “Leftists want big government to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and educate everyone into thinking just like they do. Jerry wanted the government to smite everyone different than him.”

    Sorry, I don’t see much difference. Both are trying to impose their brand of morality using the coercive power of government. Both truly believe that what they are doing is for the betterment of their victim. And both are equally wrong in their tactics.

  46. Christopher Hitchens is my favorite. Never a dull moment with that drink-soaked cad.

  47. Dipsy the green telletuby | May 16, 2007, 3:52pm | #

    Falwell molested me…

    No wonder he gave Tinky-winky such a hard time, he was partial to black boys.

  48. How dare they raise money from credulous people on their huckster-like (UNINTELLIGIBLE) radio stations…

    This part of his commentary is a bit silly. Lots of folks sent his organizations (or the organizations he headed) money because they agreed with him.

    His comment seems to imply that only if these people were taught properly, or weren’t the “victims” of folks like Falwell all would be well. Indeed, maybe folks would abandon religion altogether! Unlikely. Religion is here to stay.

  49. Christopher Hitchens and Fred Phelps should just get a room. Preferably, a very private room, far away from the rest of us.

    I appreciate Flynt’s statement, and I won’t even make any jokes about his new-found respect for mothers – his own mother, if not Jerry Falwell’s, whom he portrayed as having sex with Jerry in an outhouse.

  50. Come on, people, why all this hate for Hitchens?

    How you can look at what he has said and judge it to be about the same as what the loonies at WBC say – as some here have done?

    The demented ghouls at WBC believe Falwell is in hell because he was not QUITE as crazy as they are while Hitchens wishes there was a hell for Falwell to go to because he thinks – rightly, in my view – that Falwell’s insane worldview and destructive influence on society was quite enough, thankyouverymuch…

    So, where exactly did he go wrong in his assessment? I, for my part, think he is spot-on.

  51. Falwell and Hitchens have more in common than most people notice. Both of them like going on TV and saying outrageous things to get attention. Both of them like to belittle their opponents. And both are fond of spirits–just different kinds.

  52. Al,

    Huh-huh, you said “spirits.”

    “So, where exactly did he go wrong in his assessment? I, for my part, think [Hitchens] is spot-on.”

    Unlike Hitchens and Phelps, I don’t have the necessary degree of certitude to say where Falwell should spend his post-mortem years. I guess I’m not tolerant enough.

  53. Hitchens has become the thing he hates.

    Church buildings never did harm,
    nor did someone praying or singing,
    nor did The Bible or Koran or Torah,
    so what is it that Hitchens hates so?

    He can’t blame god if there is no god.
    Isn’t it that religion is organized?
    Evil has used religion to do evil.
    Evil has used government to do evil.

    Evil comes from people filled with fire
    believing they know what is best for all
    and go on a mission, making speeches,
    and spreading their hatred as if gospel.

    To end uprisings people hang the leaders.
    To prevent them, people could do the same,
    be it preachers, dictators or generals.
    Who’s the leader of these libertarians?

  54. The “unintelligible” is “Elmer Gantry” and it would be best to edit it by putting either parentheses or hyphens around the phrase:

    “where I’m glad to see he skipped the rapture, was found on the floor of his office”

    Otherwise it’s a confusing read, where the video/audio is much more understandable.

    Yours for pendantic editing. . .

  55. What the FUCK is Hitchens saying?!?!

    In one sentence he calls Falwell a genius fraud and in the next he calls him incapable of reading a long book…

    Am I to take this as anyone who is capable of reading a long book incapable of being a fraud?

  56. Falwell was UNIMPORTANT. He’s no more important now. The only thing that put him on the map was the mass of people who rushed to criticize him. Once the right opponents signed on, he had it made. Ever hear “The enemy of my enemy is my friend”?

  57. The shi’i Batinis were, in fact, the ones known in the West as the Assassins.

  58. This made me laugh when it first appeared.

  59. (Batin means “belly” or “chest”–the Batinis were the ones who held their views close to their chest so they could infiltrate their enemies, then kill them)

  60. Shut up, you secular progressives!
    Shut up!

    I’ll give you the final word.

  61. PREACH ON BROTHER HITCH!

  62. Come on, people, why all this hate for Hitchens?

    Because, sadly, being stupid enough to believe in God doesn’t mean that they can’t figure out how to use a computer and post to Hit & Run.

  63. And now the fourth member of the…umm…quadrumvirate has weighed in:

    http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2007/05/16/falwell_tinky/?source=rss

  64. “Because, sadly, being stupid enough to believe in God doesn’t mean that they can’t figure out how to use a computer and post to Hit & Run.”

    Wigga, please.

  65. akira,

    I don’t use those devil-boxes you call computers. If I have a post to make, I ask my atheist friend Bob to type it for me. Then I assume an angel takes my message to the Internet.

    There, now I bet you’re embarrassed for calling me stupid!

  66. Ah, Hitchens.

    The snark that truly satisfies.

  67. I am I the only one who gets Westboro and Landover confused?

    the latter one has a response too.

  68. The most important result of our relationship was the landmark decision from the Supreme Court that made parody protected speech.

    Don Imus would certainly be interested to know about his so-called “freedom”.

  69. Don’t worry pal. I’m just showing you where everyone else goes when they die.

  70. Don Imus would certainly be interested to know about his so-called “freedom”.

    Freedom from government persecution does not mean freedom from being told you’re a moron.

  71. Really, David. You’ve heard of the Westboro Baptist Church, but not Elmer Gantry?

    What *do* they teach at Evanston?

  72. The Pot calling the kettle black.

  73. Akira,

    I’m an atheist.

  74. You know, it just occurred to me that Falwell’s death is conveniently coinciding with Hitchens’ book tour for God Is Not Great
    Coincidence? I think not!

  75. Hi dj!

    welcome back.

    First Ruthless and now you!

  76. Leftists want big government to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and educate everyone into thinking just like they do. Jerry wanted the government to smite everyone different than him.

    The leftists get pretty smiteful when it comes to gun owners, CEOs, non-union employers, et al.

  77. Faith is the ABSENCE of reason. And religion is the creation of paternalistic central planners.

    If one has been reading Hitchens, it is quite apparent that in the last few years, he has been (albeit in fits and starts) making the one-way intellectual migration from socialist to libertarian.

  78. Wow. I think I’m in love. Anybody know if Christopher Hitchins is married?

  79. Because, sadly, being stupid enough to believe in God doesn’t mean that they can’t figure out how to use a computer and post to Hit & Run.

    I am an atheist and I actually like Hitchens….That said one would have to be an idiot not call that interview a pointless, internally contradictory, unconvincing rant.

  80. He’s married to Carol Blue (2nd wife). She wears stilettos.

  81. “Faith is the ABSENCE of reason.”

    Am I supposed to take that on faith?

  82. With his jowls and all, he just always reminds me of Jabba the Hut.

  83. HITCHENS IS RIGHT. ALL RELIGION IS FUCKED.YOU CAN FILL THE OCEANS WITH ALL THE CORPSES FROM THE RELIGIOUS WARS.. AND FARWELL MADE A BUCK FROM WALKING OVER THESE CORPSES.

  84. THE MIGHTY ALLCAPS HAS SPOKEN!

  85. That Jerry Falwell was an ardent supporter of Apartheid South Africa, that he preached for Americans to support Apartheid, is a key reason if he isn’t burning in hell, there is no God.

  86. I’m dissapointed in Flynt.

    I want better grave-dancing than Hitchens gave. (he’ll probably do better in text)

    For me the gold standard was when Hunter Thompson wrote his farewell (and good riddance) to Nixon after his death. It was clear to me that he lived so long despite his lifestyle for the purpose of making sure that Dick Nixon wasn’t shuffled off this mortal coil without at least one old enemy getting a final good shot in.

  87. WHAT A BUNCH OF FAGGOT ASS SCUM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE . THE DAY IS COMING WHEN YOU WILL PAY AND I DON’T MEAN WHEN YOU DIE . THIS COUNTRY IS DUE A CLEANSING OF THE SCUM LIKE YOU AND I CAN’T WAIT FOR THAT DAY TO COME I’LL BE LOOKING FOR YOU.

  88. Sadly, Jimmy Swaggart, Ted Haggard, Pat Robertson, and Jerry Falwell won’t go to Hell, because it doesn’t exist.

    Face it, Jesus Christ was a human being. He was not divine. Jesus was a moralist.

    The bible was written 100 years after the death of Christ by people who didn’t know him.

    Stop drinking the Juice people!

  89. Michael Novak on Mr. Hitchens. I didn’t read it all, nor every stitch supra. Pax vobiscum.

    http://tinyurl.com/34yhmd

  90. Such furious fatuities! Grow up, folks…Hitchens has a right to take moral umbrage at hypocrisy from any quarter. I may not be an athiest, but having lost friends and almost having my sister and niece barbequed by those savages in the name of Allah, I got royally pissed at Falwell’s horribly inchoate comments. I, for one, am equally outraged at the radical Left’s eagerness to surrender the Iraqi people to the tender mercies of Al Qaida.
    PS- Having served overseas long ago and on listening to a nephew’s tales after his third tour in Baghdad, I’ll affirm that we’re not going to surrender our way out of this. We are in a religious war-theirs is fascism and savagery and ours better become Western democracy quickly. All savages need to do to win is sap our will. Hitch is right about fighting Islamic regimes and their terror shock troops. You won’t like a world where they get safe havens. It’s fight or die, and I’ll side with anybody who’ll fight to win against the jihadists.

  91. What kind of morality is there in reviling a man in this disgusting manner upon his death? Hitchens shows himself to be all of the hate-mongerer that he accuses Jerry Falwell of being and then some. Basically what Hitchens is saying is that any Jew or Christian who takes the Bible literally is a “danger to America”. Tolerance isn’t everybody thinking the same thing. Tolerance is agreeing that others have the right to disagree with our opinions. Jerry Falwell was on good terms and liked by many of the people who he disagreed with. Hitchens is the TRUE bigot and hater mongerer here.

  92. THIS IS FOR RON. WOW DUDE DO YOU KISS YOUR MOM WITH THAT MOUTH. OR IS IT YOUR SISTER $ MOM? AS FOR A CLEANSING START BY LOOKING IN THE MIRROR….

  93. Ad hominem attacks are certainly not the prefered method of discourse in most contexts. However, Hitchens is not merely addressing Falwell’s views on morality and politics. Rather, Hitchens is addressing the totality of this man’s being. With Falwell being dead, and the issue thus being something along the lines of “what kind of man was Jerry Falwell,” it would seem that ad hominem attacks seem perfectly appropriate.

  94. Well, Hitchens is a perfect example of a pompous ass if ever I have seen one. He certainly doesn’t need to worship God, he sounds as if he thinks perhaps God should worship him. What a toon he is.

  95. don’t think I’ll ever get over your persistance Jim. ….. Do a little dance, make a little love get down tonight, get down tonight. …
    http://destinationsoftwareinc.com

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