But… Brawndo's Got What Plants Crave!


Another bit of weirdness from the GOP debate that was lost in the Rudy-Ron Paul maelstrom: Mitt Romney's answer to the 24 question.

Some people have said, we ought to close Guantanamo. My view is, we ought to double Guantanamo.

What made this jarring was who said it: A multi-millionaire businessman who got rich in turnarounds, consulting failing companies and helping them turn a profit. Does anyone think Romney ever told a failing business to confront one of its controversial (and deeply flawed) programs by "doubling" it? Probably not; silly, unworkable pandering like that only works in a presidential campaign.

NEXT: Who Won the GOP Debate? (Fox News American Idol-Style Voting Edition)

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  1. I won’t take that too literally, obviously his point was that Gitmo, despite what we’re told, is actually a good thing as it serves the purposes for which it’s intended.

  2. I’d have said we should be putting a LASER wall between US and mexico. With a moat, and sharks, and laser beams on their heads.

  3. This isn’t a serious policy proposal; it’s Republican-ese for “look at the size of my codpiece.”

    Except for Ron Paul, the entire evening was an exercise in playing Tough Guy.

    The members of that audience don’t know the difference between a presidential campaign and a casting call for “Die Hard IV.”

  4. Hell, I’d triple it!

  5. The Democratic debate wasn’t much better when it came to playing Tough Guy/Gal. Obama got into trouble for not saying immediately that he would “retaliate” in the aftermath of a hypothetical terrorist attack.

  6. I’ll see that triple and up the ante to quadruple! No, quintuple!

    Aw, hell, let’s just multiply by 10!

  7. Romney wanted to make sure no one might suspect that he didn’t stand foursquare for torture and against habeus corpus.

    Just doubling Guantanamo won’t cut it, though. Since most of the candidates also want to insist that it’s possible to deport all illegal immigrants, we would need to increase the size of our total national prison system by an order of magnitude to hold those 10-15 million people while they await judicial resolution of their cases. If we make our prison system ten times larger in a short enough period of time to actually accomplish this goal, we can expect 1000 Abu Ghraibs, except this time it will be Mexican children instead of Iraqis.

  8. Aw, hell, let’s just multiply by 10!

    This Gitmo goes to eleven!

  9. Some dude who made a buttload investing like Mitt knows the whole double down thing is for losers. So yeah, that’s called pandering.

    He’s got to be the smartest of that bunch but he appears to be 100% principle free.

  10. Gitmo’s got the electrolytes that the simple water of the Constitution (what, you mean from the toilet?) can’t provide!

  11. David,

    But why not just make 10 the highest Gitmo?

  12. I would double-dog dare Guant?namo. I would also play “Guantanamera” for all the guests (and say, “Smiles, everyone! We want our guests to feel welcome”, to the staff) as they arrive.

  13. Yeah, but what I wanna know is, who’s gonna fix the ecomony?

  14. I’d infinity Gitmo to the infinitieth power!

    Romney proves it is true that there is a fine line between stupid and clever.

  15. ProGLib – only as long as Mr. Roarke greets them.

    Seitz – it depends – people should lead, follow, or get out of the way (I just made that up!)

    (not sure of the crossing of the streams between Idiocracy and Tap. We must reflect on how the URKOBOLD would have it)

  16. And actually, Dave, if you’re going to make Idiocracy references for last night’s debate, the better one would probably be this:


    “Joe stated his case logically and passionately, but his perceived effeminate voice only drew big gales of stupid laughter.”

  17. But joe, if you need that extra little something, you need 11.

  18. The point that none of the candidates made is that Fox News intentionally created the hypothetical situation to involve “known terrorists,” people who were caught in the process of executing a terrorist plot. Those aren’t the only sorts of people at Gitmo, and it’s disingenuous to ask a smug question relating to what we would do to known terrorists in order to get information that could save American lives vs. what we would do to people about whom we have little to no information to validate that they had any connection what-so-ever with a terrorist plot or organization. It made me nauseous because… DUH, the answer to “you caught this guy trying to kill your wife, what are you going to do to him” is 100% different from “you sent out a warrant for an unspecified person whom you suspect of maybe plotting to do something that would harm your family, but you don’t know who it is. Someone is surrendered to you on suspicion of thinking something bad about your wife. What are you going to do to him?”
    Really, it’s underhanded and manipulative.

  19. 10-15 million people while they await judicial resolution of their cases.

    “Judicial resolution”? Communist.

  20. Double it? He doesn’t say double the population. Cuba might want to start paying attention.

  21. VM,

    I’d also have our guests’ bunks reupholstered with fine Corinthian leather.

  22. To double gitmo, wouldnt we have to invade Cuba? As far as overseas adventures go, that one makes more sense than Iraq, but still….

  23. dang it highnumber, you beat me to it.

  24. Frankly, invading Cuba sounds like a good idea. After we win in 12 hours or so, we can relax on the beaches, eating arroz con pollo and drinking Cuba Libres, mojitos, and–how do you say banana daiquiri in Spanish?

  25. Mitt Romney: “Go ‘way! De-batin’!”

  26. “fine Corinthian leather”

    Yes! Easier to clean – that’s the De-BATIN of which Destijl speaks!

  27. Best Comment I have seen about the “Double Gitmo” remark:

    I thought he was clear. He does not believe in trial by jury, or the presumption of innocence, or the right to counsel, or an independent judiciary, or the right to liberty. He believes that the government should disappear people from their homes and send them to prison camps where brutal guards will beat them up at their leisure. He thinks we need more Gitmos and bigger Gitmos. He wants to recreate the gulag.

    Sounds about right to me

  28. The rent for the land and payments for water and other services the US Navy pays to occupy Gitmo is big source of revenue for Castro.

    Why does Mitt want to double what we pay?

    Why does the US continue to support communism in the western hemisphere?

  29. I think we should just build a wall around the United States and call everything outside “Gitmo.”

  30. Och, I remember a wee lass with huge tracts of land at a place called Titmo.

  31. Gitmo at Titmo.

  32. Which arouses you more:

    (A) Referring to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba as “Gitmo” or

    (B) referring to the Secretary of Defense as “SecDef”?

  33. So what you’re saying is that the problem with Gitmo is that it costs too much and American can’t be profitable without cutting it?

  34. David, just what do you suggest we do with the people there? Got room at your place for some guests?

    I’m reminded of the story in “Bloom County” where Steve (the lawyer) is granted legal custody of his client, a murder suspect . . .

  35. i read somewhere that there is actually no such thing (except by naming it as such) as “corinthian leather.”

    basically, they wanted it to sound like a BETTER leather, plus it would sound good with a montalban spanish trill.

    but it’s really just leather.

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