"My Message to the Governor Is 'Stick It Up Your Ass!'"

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This is my second post in a row about Western Republican politicians. There's a reason for that: They are better than other politicians.

The House Republican majority leader, Michael Lange, unleashed a profanity-laced tirade at Gov. Brian Schweitzer Wednesday, saying the Democratic governor "can go straight to hell."

… Lange's blow-up came about 90 minutes after he had met with Schweitzer to talk about an offer that Democrats considered a tax and budget compromise to end the session.

He told House Republicans he considered the offer a "bribe" and that he was standing up for his caucus and what it believes in.

"So my message to the governor is to stick it up your ass," Lange shouted angrily. "That's my message to him. Stick it up your ass."

The story has a video, thank the Lords of Kobol, and it makes Lange look like a cross between Teddy Roosevelt and foul-mouthed punk poet John Cooper Clarke. Crossed fingers that those other Westerners Harry Reid (Nevada) and Dick Cheney (Wyoming) drop their Surreal Life slapfight and start tossing some f-, a-, and h-bombs.

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  1. Did you distract both Radley and Ted Kennedy with milkshakes to post this? 🙂

  2. At one point, Lange accused Democrats of negotiating like “radical socialists” like those in the Soviet Union, North Korea and “Red China.” They won’t compromise or capitulate, he said.

    Sounds like a real winner there, David.

  3. The West is great–at least, if you take out the more populated portions of it. Maybe we should all live on giant ranches, ? la Asimov’s Solaria.

  4. Best line,
    “Communists?” Wilson said. “My father landed in Normandy. To group me in with a group like that is about as offensive as anything I can imagine.”
    They were on our side when your dad landed on Normandy. Right?

  5. It’s a step in the right direction, I guess. But I won’t be happy until they start dueling again.

  6. Best line,
    “Communists?” Wilson said. “My father landed in Normandy. To group me in with a group like that is about as offensive as anything I can imagine.”
    They were on our side when your dad landed on Normandy. Right?

    Maybe he will back up and use Gore Vidal as an example next. Maybe even Alger Hiss.

  7. Good point, Weigel. I’d love to see that Harry-Dick thing explode.

  8. Queen’s Gambit Declined = HoI?
    Dan T?
    Jesse Walker’s nemesis? (I forget which names that guy went by – Gun Widow, ed maybe?)

  9. JParker,

    Communists, fascists, French people–what’s the difference?

    independent worm,

    With swords?

  10. Communists, fascists, French people the french –what’s the difference?

    There, fixed that one 😉

  11. I forget which names that guy went by – Gun Widow, ed maybe?

    Not ed. Not that it isn’t a lovely name.

  12. Did you just write a blog post with the thesis, “Heh heh, he said ‘ass?'”

    Really?

    Heh heh. Heh. Ass.

  13. Sorry, ed.

  14. I believe it was Edward. I don’t think our favorite Dan T. is Edward or Gun Widow. I do however think that Queens Gambit Declined is HOI is Dan T.

  15. Is the game “Name That Troll”?

  16. Was it merely coincidence that you posted a link to “Evidently Chickentown,” or did you watch the recent episode of The Sopranos where a reading of the poem with musical accompaniment was used over the final credits?

    I thought it was a good choice by the PTB at The Sopranos – JCC’s staccato delivery, plus the menacing tones of the music, provided just the right hint of foreboding.

  17. ed,

    I’ve cleared both our names

    Jesse Walker | April 19, 2007, 1:49pm | #

    “Sherman” and “Edward” are the same person. He posts under other names, too — earlier this week he was calling himself “Brady” and (showing his feminine side) “Gun Widow.”

  18. Crossed fingers that those other Westerners Harry Reid (Nevada) and Dick Cheney (Wyoming) drop their Surreal Life slapfight and start tossing some f-, a-, and h-bombs.

    I wouldn’t be surprised; Republicans are the uncivilized ones of the politicos. Democrats are much more civilized.

  19. “Republicans are the uncivilized ones of the politicos. Democrats are much more civilized.”

    Oh? You mean like when Murtha accused the US military of murdering civilians, or Ted Kennedy calling Bush “Hitler”? Or Clinton trashing the reputations of the women he raped?

    You are pathetic

  20. Or Clinton trashing the reputations of the women he raped?

    You are pathetic

    Pot — Kettle.

  21. “I wouldn’t be surprised; Republicans are the uncivilized ones of the politicos. Democrats are much more civilized.”

    Queen, being a good troll involves never actually admitting you’re a troll. Now please retire this screen name and try a little harder with “HOI.”

  22. Listen, regardless of your political views there is simply no reason to defend an elected representative who uses coarse or foul language against another legislator.

    It’s uncouth and classless. Mr. Lange has embarrassed this great nation with his vulgar tongue.

  23. Or with “Haywood’s Proxy.” Either one works.

  24. Mr. Lange has embarrassed this great nation with his vulgar tongue.
    I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out is this is sarcasm…please tell me it is. Seriously. Please.

  25. *if this is sarcasm

  26. Haywood’s Proxy | April 26, 2007, 12:50pm | #

    Listen, regardless of your political views there is simply no reason to defend an elected representative who uses coarse or foul language against another legislator.

    It’s uncouth and classless. Mr. Lange has embarrassed this great nation with his vulgar tongue.

    Horseshit. I too wish these guys would start dueling again. I want to see them say that another legislator is of low breed, or in today’s parlance – A son of a bitch.

  27. I wouldn’t mind if every now and then they resorted to calling each other “dumb fucks”… I mean, really, that’s all most of them are.

  28. Mere profanity becomes tiresome too quickly. What American politicians need to increase their entertainment value (their political value being a lost cause) is more of the witty political invective more often found among British politicians. As when, for example, Churchill described Clement Atlee as “a modest man, who has much to be modest about.”

    Alas, this would require a more literate and articulate class of politicians than seems possible here. But to paraphrase Browning, a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a taxpayer’s pocket for?

  29. remember the list that the simp contingent of the Republican party faithful was passing around back in the day? The one pitching bubba Clinton as a murderin’ gangster type or summat?

    (google “Clinton Body Count” for a refresher)

    that was funny

    and a little sad

    those wacky Republicans

  30. What DA Ridgely said.

    D.A., have you ever had the fortune to see Barney Frank at the podium, or on a cable nooz show? That’s some good stuff right there.

    The rest of you can go Cheney yourselves.

  31. Shove it up your Obama, joe.

  32. I wish there was a check-off on the 1040 form to pay for politicians’ dueling pistols…

  33. [hollering]
    RODHAM TAINT!
    [/hollering]

    [runs off]

  34. Shove it up your Obama, joe.

    that doesn’t make any sense.

    i also agree with DA Ridgely. Watching the PM face off with the parliament is pretty entertaining.

  35. downstater,

    Maybe he was referring to the Obama/butt-plug opinion of the US Patent Office that was blogged here a few weeks ago.

  36. perhaps.

    i may need to spend even MORE time reading hit and run just to make sense of the references.

  37. Downstater – yeah – and you’ll rip cubbies fans and lord over the superiority of your team.

    (At the game last sun, I asked a Cards fan what it was like wearing a cap that read “WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS”. He assured me, “It’s great. Too bad you’ll not know that joy.” very fun!)

    🙂

  38. I fairly recently saw Parliament debating the public nuisance of discarded chewing gum stuck to the sidewalk, the expence of removing it, etc. They even made that sound classy.

  39. “Watching the PM face off with the parliament is pretty entertaining.”

    I love Prime Minister’s Questions.

    We could use more “Harrumph Harrumph Harrumph!” in our public discourse.

  40. expense!

    I like the way they start debates: ‘Would you agree that…’

  41. “My Message to the Governor Is ‘Stick It Up Your Ass!'”

    by David Weigel (Tim Cavanaugh in heavy syrup)

  42. VM

    sort of sorry for ruining your sunday. 😉 what a bomb in the 10th! awesome that you were at that game!

    we can share some common ground in that your scrubs and my cards both suck right now.

  43. It was a beautiful shot. Onto Waveland. Amazing. Pujols is scary good….

  44. VM,

    I’m a Braves’ fan. I want to thank you for giving us Greg Maddox.

    Fools!

    By the way, Wrigley is a GREAT park. It and Fenway should be moved to the Moon to be preserved in a vacuum and protected from the developers for all time.

  45. I love this episode so much I’m considering sending Lange a cane.

    Cheers,
    RK Jones

  46. Mark my words: whole new construction and preservation technologies are going to be developed to save Fenway and Wrigley over the next few decades.

  47. joe – you mean! you mean! THE MARKET??? golly [grins]

    ProL:

    oh yeah. well. um. Dale Murphy. so there.

    yeah.
    [looks around. backs away]

  48. joe,

    As a fan of your park, if not your team (my second favorite team is the poor Devil Rays, so die, die, die), I implore you to prevent its destruction. The last attempt to make it into a mall/park (? la Comiskey) came dangerously close to success. I’ve only been there once, but that one time involved watching Clemens dominate the Jays and seeing Sam Horn (DH) hit a grand slam over the Monster. It was obviously a perfect baseball day. My other perfect baseball day was watching a Cubs-Braves game at Wrigley with Bill Cosby throwing the first pitch, and Greg Maddox pwning the Cubs. As he always did.

    VM,

    Yeah, he was great, too. Almost won us the division singlehandedly.

  49. joe,

    I hope Fenway is bulldozed*. Boston deserves it after the way they desecrated the old Busch Stadium in aught four. Fever Pitch – honestly – do you Red Sox people have no sense of decorum?

    *not seriously – but you still deserve it!

  50. whoa whoa whoa.

    excuse me people.

    i will define who is a troll around here and who isn’t.

  51. PL,

    What’s the atmosphere like at Tropicana? My wife has family in Tampa and we’ve always thought about staying with them for a cheap get-away. I thought it would be cool to see a D-Rays game for the hell of it.

    I don’t get to watch the junior circuit much unless I make the hike to KC (which is an awesome park in a stupid location if you’ve ever been there) or Chicago.

  52. downstater,

    Well, the stadium has no soul, though it’s supposedly better since the recent refit. I haven’t sat in the stands in quite some time. When I was with WaMu, we had a box, which I took advantage of from time to time. That was nice 🙂 The Rays are playing quite a bit better this season, so I expect that there will be more excitement, too.

    If you plan to see the sights in Pinellas County (the beaches, the Dal? Museum, etc.), it’s not hard to get to.

  53. “M(y second favorite team is the poor Devil Rays, so die, die, die)”

    Hey, Pro Libertate: *PLUNK*

    Seriously, I don’t even worry about Fenway anymore. The owners realize – hell, the entire world realizes – that the “Boston Red Sox” is one of the most valuable brand names in the world, and that it is Fenway Park that produces most of that value. People who don’t even like the Red Sox go there, just because they want to watch a ballgame there. When they held a double header last year with the Single A Lowell Spinners and the Triple A Pawtucket Red Sox, they sold something like 29,000 tickets.

    You know what the Red Sox would be without Fenway? Do you?

    The Mets, that what. *spit*

    We don’t have to try to save Fenway anymore – that problem has taken care of itself.

  54. ProL:

    hrumph.

    Mr. Crane! ooh! ooh! ooh! can I be a troll?? Pretty please??? I have a troll outfit and everything! ooh ooh ooh!!!!!!!

    downstater – that was one of the saddest days. At least the Cards got to win it in the following year. But how the Eastern Seaboard Programming Network still trumpets that out is nauseating.
    (Tampa Bay Deviled Eggs, tho?)

  55. VM,

    The Rays have won exactly as many World Series titles as the Cubs in the last 99 years.

    joe,

    I hope that you are right. One of my Boston friends was convinced that the last effort would succeed, so it must’ve been close. Do you think finally winning it all–something that could never happen to a certain Chicago team–changed the dynamic?

    You have good dogs, too, though Wrigley’s are better. And their drunks, surprisingly, are drunker.

    For the record, I’ve been a Braves fan since 1974 or so. I’m a Tampa fan in everything else that we have, so I certainly don’t plan to throw the Rays under the bus just because they’ve been Zeus-awful to date. I endured the Bucs for a long time, too. It helps that the Rays are in the AL, of course. In any event, I do have at least token dislike for all of the other teams in the division, with the usual hatred of the Yankees shared by all true Americans.

  56. VM,

    By the way, when the public was asked to suggest a name for the new team, I voted for “Rough Riders”, because (1) the Rough Riders stayed in Tampa prior to heading to Cuba, (2) it’s a tougher name than Fictional Fish, (3) I’d get to say “Bully” when good things happened.

    If we’d been called the Rough Riders, we’d have won two World Series championships by now. Quite the bully team, wouldn’t you say?

  57. Bully! Bully!

    True dat about the last 99 years.

    The food at Comisky is much better than at Wrigley, btw.

    And it’s an entirely different dynamic with the Cubbies. Being in the world series or contending would change the expectations of everybody. 2003 was very meaningful for that reason.

    But languishing in futility, with only 2003-2004 being back-to-back winning seasons in at least 35 years is different from contending, being there, making the world series, and fighting for the division title until the last week of the season. sigh.

    However, being a Cubbies fan from 1970-1990 was better than being an Indians fan in that same time (no trips to the playoffs whatsoever).

    Completely
    Useless
    By
    September

    No world series heartbreak in the 60s, 70s, 80s, contention in the 90s, 00s.

    Cubbies fandom is a lot closer to (non 90s) Indians fandom.

  58. BTW: that sucks monkey spunk. It is frustrating and annoying (in the trivial, sports sense) to be out of it by the all star break. It isn’t fun or neat to have the affected Charlie Brown attitude. It sucks.

    White Sox fans were just as bad off – but you never heard a peep from them about “lovable loser” or anything like that. They just blew up disco.
    (which is why it was awesome that the ChiSox won the title in this town first. bravo!)

  59. I thought the Sox would do it in the good Frank Thomas years.

    I believe that the Cubs will never play in the World Series again.

  60. really, i wish the cubs WERE still lovable losers instead of the high-priced, unlovable losers of today.

    remember when bleacher tix were only sold day-of-game?

    there was a time when seeing a cubs game, unless they were playing the cardinals, was a hell of a bargain. not no more.

  61. Whatever criticisms I might level at the Cubs or, more importantly, at their fans, I must say that I was quite impressed when I asked a brass band outside of Wrigley to play “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida”. . .and they complied. Wow.

    There’s also the immortal moment when 1060 West Addison was given as a certain bluesman’s address. Classic.

  62. Pro Libertate,

    We came within a hair of losing Fenway last time, in the late 90s. The then-owners stated that Fenway could not be saved and renovated, and the City Council voted to authorize money for a new park in Southie. They were going to demolish Fenway, and replace it with a paved – paved! – space shaped like park, painted green, with the Monster.

    Then this group of activists formed a group called Save Fenway Park, and said that the owners weren’t being truthful. The ownership paid for an engineering report, which stated that the park had to come down. SFP reviewed the plan – they had some architects, engineers, and planners, including a guy who would later become my boss – and issued a critique. The ownership rejected it out of hand, and challenged them to produce their own architectural and engineering study showing how to preserve the ballpark and expand it to add seating and increase revenues.

    So they did, and released it to the public. Of course the owners stated that it was bogus and amateurish, but it wasn’t. They put it online, and it quickly became apparent that this was a realistic, feasible proposal.

    When public opinion turned against them, the owners sold the team, declaring that there was no way for them to stay in business in Fenway.

    Everything the Sox have succeeded at since then – the World Series, the Monster seats, the closing of Landsdowne Street to make a pedestrian mall on gamedays – happened under the new, enlightened ownership. They’re really committed to preserving the park – the GM was GM in Balitmore when Camden Yards was built, and he had the designers study Fenway as their model.

    It’s a great story; it’s going to make a terrifer bestseller someday.

    But yeah, they were THAT CLOSE to tearing it down. It would have been Penn Station all over again.

  63. joe,

    Now that you mention it, I did hear something about the dueling engineering reports. No one in their right mind believed the Sky-Box-Obsessed ownership, and for good reason, I’m sure.

    I wonder if that whole mess didn’t contribute to the Sox ultimately overcoming their own back-entrenched monkey?

    Anyway, I hope that Fenway’s still there when we have flying cars and de facto control of the Alpha quadrant 🙂

  64. I should be at the White Sox game right now.
    Inclement weather, ha! It’s gorgeous at this very moment. ;(

  65. I guess you don’t remember that stirring “go fuck
    yourself” from Darth Cheney. Now that was
    political discourse at its best!

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