Taxes

Dracula Appointed to Run Blood Bank

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I can't believe I missed this story last week:

The Red Cross Board of Governors voted [Wednesday] to name IRS Commissioner Mark W. Everson, the nation's top tax man since 2003, as the new president and chief executive of the $6 billion organization. Everson will start next month, a few weeks before hurricane season and just as Congress is expected to approve a broad restructuring plan for the federally chartered agency.

Coming soon: The charity revises its approach to blood drives with a new "withholding" system.

NEXT: George W. Bush: War Hero

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  1. I signed up for direct injection, and file online. I’m getting a quart refund!

  2. Coming soon: The charity revises its approach to blood drives with a new “withholding” system.

    And don’t forget the blood-from-a-stone drive.

  3. There’s also deficit bleeding.

  4. Finally revealed, the connection between taxes and vampirism.

  5. But if you give blood to charity then you get a deduction.

  6. But am I going to have to fill out a W2 every time I take somevone’s life essence?

  7. There’s also deficit bleeding.

    Don’t forget bleeding ass bleeding.

  8. I vant to deduct your blood.

  9. We joke but it’s an interesting hypothetical question: what would happen if the Red Cross suffered a serious shortage of blood donors?

    Perhaps the government would resort to coercive action – there certainly is a point where a shortage would be so sever that they would. Maybe the Red Cross would start offering money in exchange for blood?

  10. Paying for blood is one thing, but coercing it out of people is another. It would be extraordinarily unconstitutional, for one. Besides, we seem pretty willing to help out in real emergencies.

  11. Maybe they’ll reconsider all the ridiculous reasons to bar donations. It seems that every time I go in to donate they have more reasons to exclude donors based on obscure fears and common activities.

    As for using coercion, that was struck down in McFall v Shimp 10 Pa. D.&C.3d, 90. A guy who needed a marrow donation tried to force his cousin to donate and the court said no. What makes the case notable is that the story got national coverage and vast numbers of people signed up for the marrow donor list in response so people do respond to genuine need without anyone having to resort to coercion.

  12. Aaahh!
    I have to call to schedule a donation.
    Thanks for the reminder!

    Give blood, everybody. It takes maybe 1/2 hour every 6 weeks or so. It’s one of the easiest things you can do to help your fellow human beings.

  13. there certainly is a point where a shortage would be so sever that they would.

    Would a sever shortage increase or decrease the need for more donors?

    Anyone else hear a story today, by the way, about a man severing his own manhood in a pizza joint somewhere in Europe? Someone was telling me about it at lunch. (Not pizza.)

  14. …A guy who needed a marrow donation tried to force his cousin to donate…

    That’s got to be a awkward family reunion.

    …about a man severing his own manhood in a pizza…

    It’s probably still better than Domino’s.

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