Culture

My Semi-Sweet Lord, Or, Do You Remember That Time the M&Ms Melted In Your Mouth, Not In Your Hands? That's When I Softened Them Up for You…

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Is there anything more tedious than a rant by Bill Donohue about how anti-Catholicism is the new anti-Semitism (except for all the, you know, extermination camps and stuff like that)? As readers of Reason know all too well, Big Bill is the head of the Catholic League and a staunch defender of real and imagined slights to the Church of Rome.

What's got his cassack and surplice in a twist these days? The AP reports:

A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ was canceled Friday amid a choir of complaining Catholics that included Cardinal Edward Egan.

The "My Sweet Lord" display was shut down by the hotel that houses the Lab Gallery in midtown Manhattan, said Matt Semler, the gallery's creative director. Semler said he submitted his resignation after officials at the Roger Smith Hotel shut down the show.

Donohue denounced the suspended exhibit as ""one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever."

Which leads back to the question at the start of this post: What's more tedious than a Bill Donohue good-times rant? I'd say objets d'art whose only possible function is to piss off the likes of Bill Donohue.

In other bizarre art installation news: The Art Institute of Chicago boasts a statue of Sen. Barack Obama as Jesus Christ. More here.

And arguably stranger–and more sacreligious too–is the sculpture of Anna Nicole Smith made out of sugary snack substance Peeps.

Update: For a Full Monty version of the Chocolate Jesus, go here.

More Update: Saints preserve us, but Michelle Malking sensibly asks the question, "How Would the MSM Cover 'Chocolate Mohammed' at Ramadan?" I'm guessing with a tangy raspberry sauce.

NEXT: Not Now John McCain

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  1. Sweet Jesus, that’s funny. And sweet, I guess.

  2. Yes, people don’t like having their religion mocked or desecrated. Nothing new to see here.

  3. Is Donohue angry because Jesus has a pee-pee, or that he looks too much like George Carlin?

  4. I can’t figure out why the statue is supposed to be offensive. The crucified Jesus has often been portrayed nude. Is it the chocolate? As tempting as it is to attribute Donohue’s reaction to the color of the chocolate, I don’t think that’s it, either.

    I suspect the math is something like this:

    (religious icon) + (I don’t get it)*(eagerness to pick a fight) = Help, I’m being persecuted!

  5. So, why did you clip the naughty parts? There are plenty of other pictures out there that show the whole statute. I find it ironic that somehow you feel the readers of “Reason” need to be protected from such things.

  6. I so want the Crucified Chorus Line as seen in A Clockwork Orange. Great piece of sculpture, but aside from it’s appearance in the movie I don’t know anything about it.

  7. What the hell do the Catholics have against chocolate?! Make a jesus statue out of plastic or stone or wood or metal, and that’s cool, but make one out of chocolatey goodness and you’re a goddamned sinner?! WTF

  8. Well Joe, I wonder if you’d volunteer to display a nude Chocolate Mohamed publicly? I’m an atheist and so don’t have a dog in the fight, but somehow I think if this were a poke at Islamic Mythology instead of Christian we wouldn’t be asking such questions….

  9. Hey, I didn’t clip anything–that was the first pic of the statue I found. For the Full Monty, go here.

  10. This kind of reminds me of the dashboard buddy christ I had a few years back. Damn, I wish I could find another one.

  11. I can’t figure out why the statue is supposed to be offensive.

    Uh, it’s because many people consider Jesus to be sacred. And few of us would want to see something we consider sacred to be depicted as a type of snack food.

  12. John Thompson,

    Mohammed, nude in public, has not real history or meaning in Islam. Depicting him that way would be imposing nudity where it didn’t previously exist. That’s not the case with Jesus.

    Now, a piece of art that depicted Jesus at the head of an army, slaughtering infidels, or having them brought before him to kiss his feet and declare their submission to him – actual events from Muslim Scriptures – would be the equivalent of a nude Mohammed, and I’d find that offensive.

  13. I thought the picture was clipped because, you know, it’s sexier to have a little mystery.
    But Catholicism is a mystery religion, and what with those priests and all that, they got enough of the sexy already.

  14. yet politicians refer to the man (JC) or their faith in christianity at least all the time. That’s much, much worse.

    Or they should lighten up – it’s CRAZY DELICIOUS!!!!!

    here’s my body.
    here’s my blood (pours some Frangelico).

    wicked populah!

  15. The crucified Jesus has often been portrayed nude.

    I’m having trouble thinking of any examples.

  16. somehow I think if this were a poke at Islamic Mythology instead of Christian we wouldn’t be asking such questions….

    I’m not sure I see the poke. He’s an artist who specializes in food making a statue for Easter using the most common Easter-related food-stuff. Maybe my offense-o-meter just isn’t up to snuff.

  17. “And few of us would want to see something we consider sacred to be depicted as a type of snack food.”

    If this was a crucified Jesus made of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, I could see your point, but it’s not. It looks like classical religious iconography, done in a different material.

    And when did Christians become so horrified about the implications of eating the body of Christ?

    What about a crucified Christ made of bread, SmartGuy?

    How about if the bread was unleavened?

  18. I.Self.Divine.

    Ask and ye shall receive, bro.

  19. What’s more tedious than a Bill Donohue good-times rant? I’d say objets d’art whose only possible function is to piss off the likes of Bill Donohue.

    What’s even more tedious than that? Assuming that this was meant to piss off the likes of Bill Donohue.

  20. Is there anything more tedious than a rant by Bill Donohue about how anti-Catholicism is the new anti-Semitism (except for all the, you know, extermination camps and stuff like that)?

    So anti-Semitism would be OK if it weren’t for, you know, extermination camps and stuff like that? Damn that Hitler, pushing things too far and ruining it for the rest of us!

  21. jp,

    I’m not an art historian by any means, but you haven’t seen any crucifictin scenes with one of the legs sort of folded over the naughty bits, sort of turned sideways?

  22. perhaps the cardinal is upset because the lord wasn’t portrayed as well-endowed enough for his tastes.

    our god is an awesome god in every way.

  23. “”And few of us would want to see something we consider sacred to be depicted as a type of snack food.””

    what about “touchdown jesus”? Or are you okay with having the man associated with “overrated for most posters’ lifetimes”?

    “somehow I think if this were a poke at Islamic Mythology instead of Christian we wouldn’t be asking such questions….”

    wouldn’t care about that, either. But a chocolate Cthulhu…….

  24. our god is an awesome god in every way.

    OOOH! YOU ARE SO BIG!!! SO VERY VERY HUGE!

  25. Would a chocolate FSM be superflous since his noodliness is already edible?

  26. Personally, I think that this is an “offensive” piece of art, but it’s offensive in exactly the right ways. “Hey! Christians! This is the logical conclusion of how people celebrate Easter!”

    This is *SCATHING*. Don’t get me wrong, it’s brilliant as well and I laughed and laughed and then reflected a bit and said “ouch”.

    I do wish that if we were to find thin-skinned Muslims who were quick to start bitching every time their Gods were mocked that the worst we’d find were people as open-minded as Bill Donohue, though.

  27. Maybe they’re mad because they think his penis should be larger?? Or uncircumcised? Who knows…

  28. I don’t know where to begin.

  29. I see that biologist beat me to that 1st one already @ 3:15

  30. ..ugh…3:54.

  31. The temptation to post the lyrics to Tom Waits’ “Chocolate Jesus” is almost overwhelming.

    But I find it annoying when other people do it, so I will refrain.

  32. SmartGuy, I wasn’t trying to be a SmartAss.

    I really am trying to figure out why the use of dark chocolate in this sculpture is offensive.

    Now, an Easter Jesus that looks like an Easter Bunny – I wouldn’t be offended by it, but I could sort of see how some other Christian could.

    Is that the vibe you’re getting from this work?

    If so, look at the picture – are you getting that vibe from the art itself, or because Bill Donohue told you so?

  33. Joe — I don’t think I’ve ever seen one with his dick visible, especially not in-yer-face llke this one, which seems semi-tumescent.

  34. Also, perhaps artists would stop trying to induce apoplectic outrage by making sacrilicious artwork if religious people would simply respond to this kind of thing with a collective shrug.

  35. jp,

    I agree with that, but it’s no more visible than Michelangelo’s David.

    Then again, if David was created today, Bill Donohue would probably use that to get his bloated face on TV, too.

  36. “jp | April 2, 2007, 4:02pm | #
    …I don’t think I’ve ever seen one with his dick visible, especially not in-yer-face llke this one, which seems semi-tumescent.”

    Well I can find one person who belongs to the wrong church…

  37. I’m not saying there isn’t deliberately sacreligious artwork being churned out just for the thrill of offending Christians. I just don’t see how this counts.

  38. JP,

    Everyone was crucufied nude. That’s just how the Romans did it. The archaeological record is clear on that. Unless of course there was some reason the Romans would have done this one crucifixion amongst tens of thousands with a loin cloth. The Romans didn’t think Jesus was anything special, just another pesky jew who thinks he’s the messiah.

    Paul did all the work later on.

  39. Heck, the gospel even talks about the soldiers casting lots for his clothes.

  40. mediageek,

    Well, whether something is sacrireligious or not is in the eye of the beholder. Anyway, people are going to make art which some find controversial whether people voice their outrage or not.

  41. Am I the only one who’s offended by the pun in the title? Not on a religious level or anything; it’s just painful.

  42. Joe, I’m not necessarily saying I find the imagne that offensive it’s just that I can kind of understand why somebody would.

    Perhaps it’s because chocolate is not a traditional medium for art? Many might object to a sacred image being used for irony or as a gimmick.

  43. I really am trying to figure out why the use of dark chocolate in this sculpture is offensive.

    It’s because chocolate is not really eternal without a candy shell.

  44. Eriks — My issue was just with Joe’s statement that “The crucified Jesus has often been portrayed nude.” We’ve hashed that out.

  45. The big thing I’m not getting here is, well, isn’t Jesus — even Crucified Jesus — kinda not so much a Catholic icon as a Christian one?

    I mean, I think Donohue’s trying to have it both ways, here, getting sympathy from the large number of Protestants while pointing to a statistical minority of Catholics to go “boo hoo, we’re oppressed”

    Also, I’d be amused to see some people taking the “one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever” BS as a challenge.

    Admittedly, if it were against Islam, I supposed “amused” might turn to “frightened” but if all you can say for yourself is “We don’t kill people who make fun of us” you’re in a bad spot IMHO.

  46. But why just assume that it’s an ironic gimmick?

    I see a reference to “this is my body” – a complimentary one, because chocolate is sweet and good.

    I see a reference to the celebration of Easter – we eat chocolate, because Jesus’ conquest of death is a cause for celebration.

    A chocolate Jesus could certainly be done in a glib, insulting manner – it could present Jesus as just a consumer good to be consumed and forgotten, like a Hershey’s Kiss – but I don’t see how anyone could draw that conclusion from this sculpture, unless they were determined to be offended, or were being led down the garden path.

    I can’t help but think that the people seeing insult and blasphemy in this art are people just looking to pick a fight.

  47. My only questions are:

    How many pounds of chocolate were in it?

    Was it good quality chocolate?

  48. I have to side with ab and Grotius on this. I mean, the artist covered a house in cheeze for pete’s sake.

    House.
    Cheeze.
    Cheeze covered house.

    I think this is a step up.

  49. Jesus didn’t have genitals! He was pure!!!

  50. If they make a chocolate Muhammad, I claim the ears!

  51. biologist,

    Click on my nick. There is a link on my blog to the critique of a Ken Ham video you might find interesting.

  52. The point of the story as near as I can tell is not that Christians have their shrouds in a bundle, but that the mainstream media has no problem posting Jesus “Wadd” Christ all over their medium, but would not touch the Danish cartoons with somebody else’s dick.

  53. Aresen – apparently 200 lbs. of chocolate. (Who knew that chocolate weighed so much?!?).

    If it will shut Bill Donahue up, I’ll eat the chocolate penis.

  54. This is just an homage to the lesser known “Miracle of the Chocolates and Liqueurs”

    “Seek not the chocolate which perishes, but that which endures to everlasting life, for it shall melt not in the hands, but in the soul.”

  55. “Jesus didn’t have genitals! He was pure!!!”

    I saw somebody who works for Donohue on CNN last night, complaining that the Jesus was “anatomically correct.”

    Jesus WAS anatomically correct!!!

  56. Just six shopping days ’til Zombie Jesus Day!

  57. “Well, whether something is sacrireligious or not is in the eye of the beholder. Anyway, people are going to make art which some find controversial whether people voice their outrage or not.”

    Grotius, I said sacrilicious.

    All humor aside, of course sacrilege is going to be in the eye of the beholder. All I’m saying is that artists do stuff like this because they know that someone out there will get offended at it.

    Bill Donohue is giving this artist more publicity than he could have ever hoped for.

  58. You know, I don’t recall all the pagans getting this pissed off about Gummi Venus de Milo.

  59. mediageek,

    All I’m saying is that artists do stuff like this because they know that someone out there will get offended at it.

    I think you are wrong. A lot of artists do stuff like this because they find it intellectually interesting, etc.

  60. I’m not an art historian by any means, but you haven’t seen any crucifictin scenes with one of the legs sort of folded over the naughty bits, sort of turned sideways?

    Those always reminds me of the scene in Silence of the Lambs where Jame Gumb / Buffalo Bill does the “tuck” dance.

  61. 200 lbs. of chocolate

    Beats the heck out of the giant chocolate bunny down at Purdy’s.

    Might last me until Ascension day.

    Assuming it’s good chocolate.

  62. “Uh, it’s because many people consider Jesus to be sacred. And few of us would want to see something we consider sacred to be depicted as a type of snack food.”

    Like an apparition of the virgin in a bag of pretzels?

  63. “Uh, it’s because many people consider Jesus to be sacred. And few of us would want to see something we consider sacred to be depicted as a type of snack food.”

    Umm, some of us consider snack food sacred and don’t want it befouled with religion, you think of that? Huh?

  64. “Jesus WAS anatomically correct!!!”

    joe is right.

    I’ve never heard of a Christian who spoke of the “Daughter of God” or the “Hermaphrodite of God.”

    [I think I just added another million years to my time in purgatory, assuming there is a god.]

  65. Nah, agreeing with me will only get you a century.

  66. Bill Donohue is a plant, put there by the entertainment industry for the purpose of entertaining us.

    And you know who runs the entertainment… OK, I’ll stop before I say something that sounds like it would come out of Bill Donohue’s mouth.

  67. Grotius

    thanks. I’ve proposed doing a similar critical analysis/ refutation of Kent Hovind’s videos. glad someone’s got the time to do that sort of thing.

    also off-topic: re: a question of yours from a previous thread

    apparently, estimates of world wide species numbers and extinction rates are based, at least in part, on the species-area relationship, contrary to what I previously wrote. I suspect, however, that this will tend to underestimate both species counts and extinction rates.

    end threadjack

  68. Can I get post #69 in the anatomically correct Jesus thread?

  69. Doh! I think biologist got it.

  70. The point of the story as near as I can tell is not that Christians have their shrouds in a bundle, but that the mainstream media has no problem posting Jesus “Wadd” Christ all over their medium, but would not touch the Danish cartoons with somebody else’s dick.

    That’s just deflecting the issue in the guise of “victimhood”.

    It’s the argument ad convertedium:

    [meta truth: liberal media]
    look how media reacts here
    look how media reacted there.
    double standard. proof of liberal!

    [/]

    Regardless of how the shrouds are bunched, they’re still… bunched.

    Destijl: the “tuck dance”????

    That’s it. No more Noam Chomsky blow up doll for you.

  71. I’m offended by this sculpture. The arms offend me. He should be handing from his wrists. His arms should not be straight out like that. I hate when artists don’t bother with historical accuracy.

  72. Which leads back to the question at the start of this post: What’s more tedious than a Bill Donohue good-times rant? I’d say objets d’art whose only possible function is to piss off the likes of Bill Donohue.

    Gotta chime in with the not-pointless crowd here. It’s possible that the guy was going for poo-smeared-Mary style piss-of-Donohue shock-value, but it’s just as likely that he was just thinking something like this:

    “Hey, you know the chocolate easter bunnies? Why not merge that concept with the actual easter imagery? A chocolate crucifixion of Jesus would be a juxtaposition of our childhood memories of Easter with the fundamental religious imagery of Christian faith. That would be Importanttm

  73. In lunchstealer’s scenario (whis I suspect is actually the truth), a chocoChrist may be Important, but a Peeps Last Supper would be Funny.

  74. lunchstealer,
    Yeah maybe, or maybe it was more along the lines of “I can get a great color, and it’s easy to work with”. Or maybe it was “this will have a profound effect on every gay man (90% of your typical art gallery male patrons) who has contemplated licking the scrotum of Christ.

  75. lunchstealer,

    Actually, the “poo-stained-Madonna” controversy was a crock, too.

    It was created by a Catholic artist from east Africa, where elephant dung is often used as a reference to fertility and rebirth. Of course, you wouldn’t know that from the media’s coverage, which made it sound like the guy had flung dog crap at a high Renaissance portrait of Mary.

  76. Donohue’s only happy when he sees naked dudes who are 15 and under. Jesus is too old for him.

  77. biologist,

    I think the same person who did this video has also done the same thing with Kent Hovind’s videos.

  78. ChocoChrist and PooChrist are totally derivative. Piss Christ is the real deal with Bill McNeil.

  79. de stijl | April 2, 2007, 4:59pm | #
    In lunchstealer’s scenario (whis I suspect is actually the truth), a chocoChrist may be Important, but a Peeps Last Supper would be Funny.

    Whereas – and I don’t know why this popped into my head – a Peeps “First Thanksgiving” would be poignant.

    Actually, it’s probably something to do with the heartbreak of finding the months-or-years-old peeps in amongst your Halloween haul. I never got any of the awesome or longer-of-shelflife out-of-season candy like the Cadbury Creme Egg.

  80. Sober up, Nick! Two typos in one post! (“sacreligious” and “Michelle Malking”) But I’ll forgive you (hey, it’s Easter, right?), for the Anna Nicole link.

  81. Piss Christ is the real deal with Bill McNeil.

    That’s the one I was going for, not poo madonna.

    Also, Dammit, TiVo just picked up an old News Radio, and it just re-opened the wounds left by Phil Hartman’s passing.

  82. lunchstealer,

    If you find that poignant, you’re just a wee bit maudlin.

  83. If I follow the teachings of the chocolate jesus, would I be on the path known as the hershey highway?

  84. Re: Previous nude depictions of Jesus

    I think that many of the “Madonna and Babe” depictions of the virgin and Christ utilize a nude Jesus.

    Technically, all of those would be previous depictions of a nude Jesus.

  85. Next thing you know somebody will get the sacreligious idea of making a Jesus out of bread…and then actually have the audacity to eat the bread!

    Maybe even in some sort of ceremony!

  86. Cadbury Creme Eggs aren’t exactly longer-of-shelflife. Think of them as “1000 year eggs” since the ‘yolks’ become more solid as time wears on. Yeah, they are still edible but they definitely are not the same.

  87. de stijl,

    It’s the feeling of decay and youth-gone-by brought out by the staleness of a Peep in November that tinges the otherwise joyous occasion of the First Thanksgiving with a sense of loss.

  88. “where elephant dung is often used as a reference to fertility and rebirth. Of course, you wouldn’t know that from the media’s coverage,”

    True enough- but to be fair, it was the clips from porn mags more than the elephant dung that offended in this case. (Oddly, there were no butts in his abnsolut vodka ad/art)

  89. Has anyone said that the Chocolate Jesus sure looks sacrilicious?

  90. What about ChristBerry? Won’t somebody think of the other misfit cereals? Why does Count ChocoCristula get all the play?

  91. Christians are the biggest hypocrites. They have a first commandment that condemns idolatry and then they turn around and worship wood/metal/plastic images of Christ.

    Then they have the gall to complain about an idol made of chocolate?

  92. “Nah, agreeing with me will only get you a century.”

    Oh, great! A million years for blasphemy PLUS a hundred years for agreeing with joe.

  93. “A lot of artists do stuff like this because they find it intellectually interesting, etc.”

    And a lot of them do it for the sake of provoking a response from people they know it will offend.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    Besides, even if the artist’s motives were all rainbows and puppies with no intent to insult the faithful, they had to know that such art would be seen as inflammatory by some religious person somewhere.

  94. mediageek,

    …they had to know that such art would be seen as inflammatory by some religious person somewhere.

    That likely depends on the mileau they grew up in, live in, etc.

  95. Jennifer E,

    “True enough- but to be fair, it was the clips from porn mags more than the elephant dung that offended in this case.”

    Isn’t it weird how the press never mentioned that?

    “(Oddly, there were no butts in his abnsolut vodka ad/art)” Why is that odd? He wasn’t trying to create a contrast between the depravity of American society and the holiness of Absolute vodka.

  96. ” that such art would be seen as inflammatory by some religious person somewhere.”

    What religious-themed art isn’t inflammatory to some religious person somewhere?

  97. Besides, even if the artist’s motives were all rainbows and puppies with no intent to insult the faithful, they had to know that such art would be seen as inflammatory by some religious person somewhere.

    You may be understimating the self-absorption coefficient of artists.

  98. errr, Underestimating.

  99. “the self-absorption coefficient of artists”

    do they have butterfly flaps to prevent slippage, too?

  100. Well no, they got those tape-ettes already on there. It’s self-contained and fairly explanatory

  101. “Isn’t it weird how the press never mentioned that?”

    It’s been many years, but I’m pretty sure it got mentioned.

  102. Where’s the initiation of force or fraud that makes this topic of interest to libertarians?

  103. Jennifer E,

    As I recall, it was mentioned here and there, but the “poop! elephant poop!” angle was brought up about 100X times more.

  104. We drink now?

    Hmm. Judging by the comments on this thread, a lot of us must have started at lunchtime.

  105. All I remembered was the poop. And I probably got some portion of that news from Limbaugh, so at least he was referring more to the poop than to any cutouts. Dunno about what Donohue himself was saying at the time.

  106. The reason I bought up the Mohamed angle is because these “artists” and their applauders like to think of themselves as proving their incredibly bravery and devotion to free speech and free artistic expression with such juvenile displays as “piss Christ” and “My Sweet Lord.” Yet I don’t recall the last time I saw one of these oh-so-brave souls display or defend a work of “art” featuring Mohamed. Perhaps then these works aren’t about art at all, but rather reflect an urge to gain attention in the face of a lack of talent by shocking people who aren’t likely to cut their heads off. My heros.

  107. At first the choice of chocolate as a medium seems off-putting, because one might assume this signals a frivoluous or flippant approach to the subject. But that assumption might be unwarranted. Like lunchstealer said, maybe the artist wanted to explore connecting the “Easter lite” symbol of Easter (chocolate) with the “real meaning.”

    I don’t find it offensive.

    Unless it also includes a voice-chip that keeps saying, “Lawsy, lawsy, lawsy” all the time.

  108. Not religious, except perhaps to some of you Hell-bound sinners secular humanist types, but if yer lookin’ for the the worst possible taste in chocolate molds (read: so funny I think I wet myself when I first saw it), hark back to July 1974 for this classic National Lampoon cover.

  109. The reason I bought up the Mohamed angle is because these “artists” and their applauders like to think of themselves as proving their incredibly bravery and devotion to free speech and free artistic expression with such juvenile displays as “piss Christ” and “My Sweet Lord.” Yet I don’t recall the last time I saw one of these oh-so-brave souls display or defend a work of “art” featuring Mohamed. Perhaps then these works aren’t about art at all, but rather reflect an urge to gain attention in the face of a lack of talent by shocking people who aren’t likely to cut their heads off. My heros.

    I will admit that I’m not much of an artist so this isn’t something I’ve ever thought of, but having grown up in America, it just wouldn’t normally cross my mind that to think “Mohammed”. Christianity is something I deal with every day. Islam, not so much. So if I were doing art, Jesus is about 100X more likely to figure in it than Mohammed.

    And seriously, I don’t think somebody in South Carolina or Idaho or even New York has nearly as much to worry about from muslims as from one of my fellow Scots-Irish Christians. Eric Rudolph and Timothy McVeigh are probably more emblematic of the bogeymen that most American artists are likely to face.

    So no, I don’t think it’s that cowardly to choose Christian imagery for art.

  110. Samuel Pepys would turn in his grave if he knew what they’ve done with his invention.

  111. This statue looks…sinfully delicious.

    (Sorry ’bout that).

    *clears throat*

    But really, I don’t see the big deal, either. I used to get chocolate crosses all the time at Easter in years past. Adding Christ is just… icing on the cake, if you will. (It’s a logical progression, at least.)

    thoreau,

    If communion hosts were made of (good-quality) chocolate, I might have never left the church.

    Warren,

    The sculptures are called “Christ Unlimited” and were done by an artist named Herman Makkink:

    Christ Unlimited

    See also: The Rocking Machine

  112. Also: would this statue qualify as “decadent chocolate”? After all, this is the savior of at least 70 percent (or greater) of our entire nation.

    What if an unpaid, Third-World worker modeled for the statue?

  113. Also: would this statue qualify as “decadent chocolate”? After all, this is the savior of at least 70 percent (or greater) of our entire nation.

    He is the savior only in direct proportion to the percentage of cocoa solids present in his holy body. 70% cocoa, 70% redemption.

  114. He is the savior only in direct proportion to the percentage of cocoa solids present in his holy body. 70% cocoa, 70% redemption.

    I see. So even Christ himself can’t escape affirmative action laws.

  115. A Christian libertarian | April 2, 2007, 6:15pm | #

    Where’s the initiation of force or fraud that makes this topic of interest to libertarians?

  116. Here are some more Jesuses for your entertainment. Please explain why none of the Saviors at this site drew Mr. D’s fire.

    Also, if I were an agent for a New York artist, I would insist that my client do something to offend Donahue. If all my guy did was paint pink unicorns froliking in fields of daisies, I’d make sure the artist had at least one unicorn peeing on a tiny crucifix and send a photo of it to Donahue. You can’t pay for the kind of press attention this guy attracts.

  117. Catholics are especially connected to crucifixes because they tend to place more importance on the Passion than Protestants do. The Prots get charged up about the Resurrection. That’s why one of the hallmarks of a Protestant church, from the Reformation on, is the “empty cross.” The plain cross symbolizes the Risen Christ conquering Sin. Your Puritan strain looked upon Roman-style statuary, even the crucified Jesus, as idolatrous.

    Post-Vatican II Catholics were taught that the Resurrection is the key event of Christianity, and that while the Incarnation and the Passion are important, they would both be for naught without an empty tomb on the third day. On the other hand, modern day evangelicals had no problem getting behind Mel Gibson’s very old school Catholic Passion, so it isn’t an either/or thing, more of a matter of emphasis.

    I, too, received a chocolate cross on various Easter mornings. It wasn’t considered blaspemous to chow down on those. The same for chocolate or marshmallow lambs. I never got any confections shaped like Jesus, though.

    Chocolate Cthulu doesn’t seem right. One made out of deep fried octupus would rock, though.

    Kevin
    (Currently has no god, but sure as hell worships dark chocolate. Gotta love those anti-oxidants!)

  118. I haven’t seen this point made yet, so if someone already brought it up my bad. But growing up Catholic and going to 12 years of Catholic school…Easter abounded with Jesus chocolate and Virgin Mary chocolate! Pretty standard stuff for Rust Belt town confectioners. I mean, it’s weird, but part and parcel for all of the other goofy iconographical things Catholics do and have as their own.

  119. The scientific name for the chocolate plant is theobroma cacao, which means “food of the Gods.” So, could there be a more appropriate medium for Our Savior than chocolate?

  120. I will feel a little bit more secure removing my body-hair knowing that Jesus did as well.

  121. goddamn, people are such fucking bitches.

  122. Ecumenical chocolate:

    http://chocolatedeities.com

  123. Virgins give birth with about the same frequency that bunny rabbits lay eggs. The offspring is never made of chocolate. But I’m not against either event happening.

  124. Wow, Whatever, that sounds very Tom Robbins. Nice job.

  125. The scientific name for the chocolate plant is theobroma cacao, which means “food of the Gods.” So, could there be a more appropriate medium for Our Savior than chocolate?

    Karen, I’m citing you in my blog post.

    http://highclearing.com/index.php/archives/2007/04/02/6174

  126. My wife’s cousin just gave her a bag of Christian chocolates:

    Heart & Soul Candies

    My wife’s cousins also gave the boy kiddie bibles for his birthday. I’m considering letting him have them after they’re redacted.
    “O, _____, You will
    keep us safe.
    You will protect us.”
    Psalm 12:7

    “_____ said,
    ‘___ loves you because
    you have loved __.'”
    John 16:27

    That ought to make the kid a seeker.

  127. “O, Pat Tilman, You will
    keep us safe.
    You will protect us.”
    Psalm 12:7

    “Jack Black said,
    ‘Satan loves you because
    you have loved rawk.'”
    John 16:27
    (Commenter KyleG, that’s an homage to you!)

    That ought to make the kid a seeker.

    He will become talib.

    lunchstealer,

    Son, you got a panty on your head.

  128. “Chocolate Cthulu doesn’t seem right. One made out of deep fried octupus would rock, though.”

    Mmmm…Cthlulhumari.

  129. “…with such juvenile displays as “piss Christ”

    Piss Christ is hardly juvenile. Having seen prints of the photograph, I have to say that it’s actually an interestingly done image.

    Link to image.

    Hardly the “crucified jesus in a bucket of urine” that everyone always claims it is.

  130. The Full Monty version

    That’s odd. I’ve always heard that you get a woody when you’re being hanged.

  131. What’s the big deal? If Jesus were sculpted as uncircumcised, (and therefore less Jewish than described in the New Testament,) I could better understand the foofaraw.

    BTW, my favorite send-up of a religious icon appeared in a National Lampoon cartoon. A young woman was reclining beneath the bedcovers, with a disembodied halo hovering above her pubic area. The caption was “Foreplay to the Immaculate Conception”.

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