All Those Bionic Upgrades Paid Off!


America's loveable veep has survived a murderous assassination plot:

A suicide bomber attacked the entrance to the main U.S. military base in Afghanistan on Tuesday during a visit by Vice President Dick Cheney, killing up to 23 people and wounding 20.

Cheney was unhurt in the attack, which was claimed by the Taliban and was the closest that militants have come to a top U.S. official visiting Afghanistan. At least one U.S. soldier, an American contractor and a South Korean solder were among the dead, NATO said.

Cheney said the attackers were trying "to find ways to question the authority of the central government." A Taliban spokesman said Cheney was the target.

Bush and Cheney are two of the least popular executives to hold power in a long while, and we're informed by their partisans that their enemies are "unhinged" and wracked by "Bush derangement syndrome." Nonetheless, the two assassination attempts directed at the men happened overseas. Cheney survived this one, Bush dodged a bum grenade in Tblisi in 2005. Does anyone have a good theory for why a president that inspired so much loathing has begged 200% fewer assassination attempts than Gerald Ford on these shores? Are the plans just being neutralized sooner? That doesn't explain everything—the sympathy boost a POTUS gets from a death threat makes it worthwhile for the White House to leak that it's just quashed one.