Soulless Patrol

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The U.S. version of Pop Idol's* got its problems, but nothing like this.

Sony Entertainment Television's popular reality show Indian Idol is facing militant problems in Jammu and Kashmir.

The channel is planning a talent hunt in the Valley, but the youth in Kashmir have been warned by militant group Al-Madina to refrain from participating in the show.

Al-Madina has threatened to kill anyone who will take part in the show. "We appeal to boys and girls of Kashmir not to participate in the talent hunt of the Sony television", an Al-Madina spokesman, Abu Sadiq, told news organisations.

Good news: The channel's not knuckling under to the threats.

(Via Malkin.)

*"Anglophile" is a fancy word for "snob."

NEXT: Merck Backs Down

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  1. Having encountered the program for a few seconds while channel-surfing, I find myself in some sympathy with Al-Madina in this matter.

  2. If it spares us the agony of being exposed to big, nasty, fat people trying to sing while wriggling around like beached whales, then I’m all for killing those non-talent having @#$*@…

  3. I will now present an act that no other performer has ever dared to execute. In fairness, I must ask those with weak constitutions to leave the theater for this performance. Lights?

    Zhank you. Some appropriate music, Maestro?

    Zhank you. First, I drink a generous portion of gasoline. Next, some nitro-glycerine. A goodly amount of gunpowder. Some Uranium 238. Shake well. Strike an ordinary match (Girls, you’d better hold onto your boyfriends). Swallow the match, and so.

    *BOOM*
    (Audience breaks into wild cheers).

    Bugs: That’s terrrrrific, Daffy! They love it! They want more!

    Daffy: I know, I know! But I can only do it once.

  4. A few months back I was at the home of a Bangladeshi colleague, and they were watching (on satellite TV) a show just like American Idol only for kids. After correcting for ethnicity, it was clear that one of the judges looked just like Simon Cowell, another looked like what’s his name, and the third judge looked like Paula Abdul. And the host looked like Ryan Seacrest with dark hair.

    To relate this to the cloning thread, perhaps they cloned those 4 people and then tinkered with the melanin content and hair color?

  5. If angloshiplism is snobbery, than what, pray tell, is francophilism?

  6. Warren:

    I thought THIS was you! AWESOME!

    (safe for work)

  7. Also, you cannot put the marshmallows in the hot chocolate. Fatwa! Fatwa!

    And, um, you can only wear the black Chuck Taylors. Or the white. No colors. Fatwa!

    Also, the Jack Nicholson movie “The Shining” – only the original version. No director’s cut! Fatwa!

    Fatwa! No fun at all. Fatwa!!!

  8. to Matt,

    buggery?

  9. What is Franco-Americanism then?

  10. How many fucking times do you need to be told?! ISLAM. MEANS. PEACE.

  11. Buggery without foreplay?

  12. What is Franco-Americanism then?

    It’s an odd sort of dysfunction whereby the subject fetishizes Spaghetti-Os and incorporates them in his, er, romantic life.

  13. Spaghetti Os:

    Cock ring for White Trash (2nd generation)

    (pass the cheetos)

  14. Moose,
    Hey that rocked! Thanks for the link.

    I thought Daffy paying the ultimate price for fame fit in with the thread.

  15. VM,

    You can have the Cheetos when I’m done with them.

    *crunch, crunch*

  16. It is written in the holy book:

    “Those who screech into microphones will have their bellies eaten with fire. Theirs will be a painful doom.” NG 2:174

    “Kill the karoakers wherever you find them. If they attack you, then kill them. Such is the reward of the untalented. (But if they desist in their screeching, then don’t kill them.)” NG 2:191-2

    “Those who fail in their duty to entertain are proud and sinful. They will all go to hell.” NG 2:206

    “If the untalented do not offer you quiet, kill them wherever you find them. Against such you are given clear warrant.” NG 4:91

    “White girls who swivle their heads and gesture like black gospel singers will be killed or crucified, or have their hands and feet on alternate sides cut off, or will be expelled out of the land. That is how they will be treated in this world, and in the next they will have an awful doom.” NG 5:33

    Peace be unto you.

  17. Huh. Nobody has bothered noting that Weigel recieved his news from the Malkinator. Isn’t this one of the prophecies foretelling the end of the world?

  18. Nobody has bothered noting that Weigel recieved his news from the Malkinator.

    I heard somewhere that she was a Democrat, so I decided to shill for her.

  19. Hr Weigel wins the thread!

    Well challenged, Sir!

  20. “We appeal to boys and girls of Kashmir not to participate in the talent hunt of the Sony television”,…

    Those smooth-talking Al-Madina folks can be so persuasive!

  21. Ooh, Weigel gives as good as he gets!

    In fact, he wins an honorable mention in grylliade’s Quotable Quotes thread.

    http://www.grylliade.org/node/96#comment-4663

  22. Doh! Never changed my handle from the cloning thread!

  23. I’m just happy the article uses the term “militants” instead of the more loaded term “terrorists”. Like dude, who are we to judge.

  24. In related news, “Who Wants to Have an Awful Doom?” receives al-Madina approval!

  25. I’m just happy the article uses the term “militants” instead of the more loaded term “terrorists”. Like dude, who are we to judge.

    Totally. They’re just like the minutemen, except with dozens of tiny ball bearings instead of a single musket round.

  26. Uh, so they’re NOT militants?

    They certainly seem militant to me.

  27. People, people. They’re Freedom Fighters!

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