"Two Independent Thought Alarms in One Day? Willie, the Children Are Overstimulated."

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Loveable scamp Ted "NO!" Stevens wants to ban Wikipedia in schools.

Early in January, Stevens introduced Senate bill 49, which among other things, would require that any school or library that gets federal Internet subsidies would have to block access to interactive Web sites, including social networking sites, and possibly blogs as well. It appears that the definition of those sites is so vague that it could include sites such as Wikipedia, according to commentators. It would certainly ban MySpace.

The bill is, in part, a rehash of a similar bill introduced last year, the Deleting Online Predators Act, also called DOPA. That bill passed the house, but got bogged down in the Senate.

Many people are calling this year's bill "Son of DOPA" because of its similarity to last year's bill.

Reason has reported with extreme prejudice on Stevens; subscribers will soon be treated to an profile with WikiGod Jimmy Wales, from an interview conducted by Katherine "Ask me about my edit history" Mangu-Ward.

Via Wonkette.

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  1. OK I’ll bite.

    Yo Katherine. What’s up with your edit history?

  2. In spy novels, “extreme prejudice” means assassination.

    Not that I would wish any harm on the beloved Senator….

  3. DOPA. That’s comedy gold.

    Here’s what the american people really need: a law banning all cutesy acronyms for laws.

  4. I second the “Cutesy Acronym Ban” motion!

  5. Senator Chubbnutt is unpatriotic and pro-child molester because he refused to vote for law 12312-B27-8903421!

    Doesn’t have the same umpf does it?

  6. Hmmm:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_stevens

    “Ted Stevens has taken criticism for a wide variety of positions and actions taken in the Senate. This includes placing a secret hold on a bill that would allow easier accountability and research of all federal funding measures, describing the Internet as a “series of tubes” when taking a strong alliance with the telecommunications industry against network neutrality[5], and supporting perceived pork barrel projects such as the Gravina Island Bridge (known as the “Bridge to Nowhere” to its opponents) and the Knik Arm Bridge. He threatened to resign from the Senate if the federal earmark for the Alaskan bridges was sent to help repair Louisiana in the wake of Hurricane Katrina damage.”

    Wonder why he doesn’t want impressionable youngsters looking at wiki?

  7. Drat, there goes my plan to attract kids through wikipedia!

    Guess I’ll go back hanging around the supermarket, giving out free candy.

  8. I warned you about the colored chalk! That chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!

  9. Here’s what the american people really need: a law banning all cutesy acronyms for laws.

    I agree. We could call it the:
    House Objective To Cut Out Cutesy Obfuscation Act.

  10. Will this also block Conservapedia.com in schools as well? Sen. Stevens might be biting the hand that feeds him.

  11. Does the exponential rate at which new technology develops, on its own warrant a constitutional amendment on term limits?

  12. Here’s a bigger and more important question: Why the fuck are there “federal Internet subsidies”?

  13. Anything that helps the cops keep the children safe is inherintly a good idea. I’m all for it.

  14. Just kidding. Believe in Jesus!

  15. Steveintheknow-

    I’d settle for a basic literacy test followed up with a basic test involving the use of simple technologies. Stuff like driving a stick shift and using a web browser.

    Stevens is either senile or an idiot. Ted Kennedy of the great white north.

  16. This’ll never pass with Democrats in control… right?

  17. This’ll never pass with Democrats in control… right?

    Just call it the ‘deleting interactive hatespeech act’ and they’ll trip over themselves trying to pass it. Throw in an amendment on videogames and you’ve got it in the bag.

  18. The some of all human knowledge up to the present moment is available to all schoolchildren in a use-friendly, easy-to-read language. Of course they are trying to ban it, what the fuck would be the point of paying their teachers if kids were just alllowed to read the internet?

    Damn unions!

  19. It might include Wikipedia?

    Yeah, and if I trip, I might fall. And if I fall, I might get hurt………..

  20. I think that discussion of these issues is vital to educating teens and young adults about the dangers AND the incredible opportunities that exist with social media. Unfortunately, many people don’t fully understand the amazing impact that social media has had on society and that the MySpacers and corporate America (who will redirect a large amount of their advertising dollars and marketing resources to the web) will greatly change every aspect of a person’s life. Social media is the body language of the Internet. I have launched a new website called Social-Legislation.com to discuss these issues. You are more than welcome to post your comments there and if you support the SAVE YOUR SPACE petition, please sign that too.

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