Tobacco

What Do They Have, Little Breasts on Them?

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Contrary to Steve Martin's speculation regarding Virginia Slims, R.J. Reynolds' new sub-brand for women, Camel No. 9, is distinguished mainly by pink-and-green packaging and flowers in the ads, which declare the cigarettes "light and luscious." After explaining the company's marketing strategy, which aims to feminize a known brand partly because "the many restrictions on marketing cigarettes make it more difficult for an all-new brand name to break through," The New York Times offers the obligatory complaint from an anti-smoking activist. In this case it's Cheryl G. Healton, president and chief executive of the American Legacy Foundation, an anti-smoking group created by the same Master Settlement Agreement that imposed many of those marketing restrictions (and funded by evil tobacco money). "The sad part is, this product is just more of the same," says Healton. "More women die of lung cancer than breast cancer, by a wide margin," but the tobacco companies still "want to increase their market share among women."

No kidding. I know, I know. Cigarettes are evil; they kill people. No one should be selling them, let alone promoting them. But given that companies are still allowed to promote and sell them, why is promoting and selling them to women especially objectionable? For the same reason that promoting and selling them to black people (remember Uptown?) is especially objectionable. Both are "vulnerable groups" that do not have a white man's wherewithal to resist Big Tobacco's come-ons. This kind of thinking is so progressive it's retrograde.

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  1. Come on Jacob, have some sympathy for half-devil- and-half-child-Americans.

  2. I think there’s some old joke that the NY Times will one day print the headline “Asteroid Destroys Earth: Women and Minorities hardest hit”.

  3. I wonder if Magic Hat will go after RJR for this…

  4. When women try to purchase cigarettes (or booze) they ought to have a 24 hour “cooling period” and three mandatory counseling sessions. We should also require parental and spousal consent.

  5. Has it been determined for sure that we have souls?

  6. I wonder if Magic Hat will go after RJR for this…

    Mmm…Magic Hat #9. Is it 5 o’clock yet?

  7. why would cigarettes with breasts be particularly attractive to women, Jacob? Lesbians, certainly, but they are a small proportion of the market. Maybe the cigarettes are glans-penis-shaped at the filter end, for the woman with an oral fixation, like Linda Lovelace.

  8. Over the years, cigarettes have been overtly marketed to rebels and ne’er-do-wells. It’s about time we recognize this trend and start protecting those in our society most likely to be cool. We should require outreach and education programs and, most importantly, accountability. As for cancer and health risks, rebels tend to die too young from suicide, unopened parachutes and firey motorcycle shards raining from the sky, but we can still protect them….

  9. Lamar,

    I’m all for government issued pocket protectors! It’s for their own good.

  10. Lamar

    That reminds me of the the onion. 😉

  11. I don’t think it’s that killing blacks/women is especially bad. It’s more the mitigating factors of killing white men.

  12. “Camel No. 9, is distinguished mainly by pink-and-green packaging and flowers in the ads”

    Jeez, you can get a woman to throw away her life iwth just flowers and pretty colors? All this time I thought it took flowers, pretty colors, and a bitchin’ car.

  13. “Jeez, you can get a woman to throw away her life iwth just flowers and pretty colors? All this time I thought it took flowers, pretty colors, and a bitchin’ car.”

    Yeah. That’s what some need.

  14. Well, if a woman can be induced to start smoking by flowers and pretty colors on the cigarette, probably good to get her out of the gene pool anyway.

    (This is why I think there should be a brand called “Coffin Nails” covered with skulls and crosses and marketed to would-be Bad Boys. Anyone that dumb shouldn’t be reproducing.)

  15. if a woman can be induced to start smoking by flowers and pretty colors on the cigarette, probably good to get her out of the gene pool anyway

    You have no idea why people begin smoking, do you? And I have to wonder how much fun your eugenics-based, no-risks-allowed utopia would be.

  16. Rhywun:
    As long as not in Alabama, they’d probably be fine.


  17. Mmm…Magic Hat #9. Is it 5 o’clock yet?

    Blech. Apricot beer?

    By the way, we’ve started office happy hour here. Bosses bring in two cases of craft beer at 4 PM!

  18. (This is why I think there should be a brand called “Coffin Nails” covered with skulls and crosses and marketed to would-be Bad Boys. Anyone that dumb shouldn’t be reproducing.)

    Funny how marketing to Cigar smokers and Cigarette smokers is so drastically different.

  19. Rather have the Legacy Foundation funded by evil tobacco money than that of innocent taxpayers.

  20. This kind of thinking is so progressive it’s retrograde.

    You saw the same reaction by gun control feminists back in the 1980s when Smith & Wesson introduced their new Ladysmith line.

    Otherwise feminists bitch when industries ignore women.

  21. Tell them that we have to allow it in order to stop people from doing it. If you prohibit something then it will automatically spawn righteous indignation and persecution complexes because there is always some crazy motherfucker who thinks it’s a great idea and they are going to do it anyway even if it is illegal.

  22. Well, grumpy realist, there were Black Death cigarettes, although I believe they’re out of production now. And there’s a Black Death vodka. I believe neither one was very popular with the nannies, which shows just how deep their commitment to truth in marketing is.

  23. From the “Vulnerable Groups” link:

    “It is odd that only possessors of a pale
    penis are perceived to also possess the potential to personally resist
    the persuasive power of marketing promotions.”

    I’d like a “P”, Pat. Vanna, is there a “P”?

  24. If Reason ever starts marketing to women and decides that little flowers and a pink-and-green color scheme is the way to do it, I will terminate my subscription with extreme prejudice.

  25. “If Reason ever starts marketing to women and decides that little flowers and a pink-and-green color scheme is the way to do it, I will terminate my subscription with extreme prejudice.”

    I’m with you sister. On the other hand, it really turns my crank when Reason runs that cute Valentine ad with the hottie in a bikini; and that “Ova for Sale” cover… Va Va Voom!

  26. “I’d walk a mile for a Camel Toe.”

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