Horton Hears a Hoohaa


Dave Barry provides your Friday fun link (until something even stupider happens):

The marquis for Atlantic Theaters advertises a number of plays including, the Masquerade Ball, Band Jam, and now The Hoohaa Monologues.

Some said hoohaa is a strange word and that its definition depends on its context, while others said it sounds like a country band.

However, it's not a band at all. In fact, most people know hoohah by a different name—vagina.

"We got a complaint about this play The Vagina Monologues," said Bryce Pfanenstiel, of the Atlantic Theater.

The play improves immensely when you make the word substitution: "I was worried about hoohaas. I was worried about what we think about hoohaas, and even more worried that we don't think about them." It improves further if you pronounce "hoohaa" like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman.

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  1. You are just begging for a long list of words they could have used instead of “hoohaa.” I can’t wait.

  2. Don’t you mean “Scent of a Hoohaa”?

  3. We always called it the “tuna monologues”.

  4. Mark & Brian probably own the rights to the term HooHaa. Then again, for all I know those guys might be dead by now.

  5. I’ll just assume that any poor schlub who finds himself dragged along by his wife to suffer through this tripe is thoroughly hoohaa-whipped.

  6. I literally cannot get the smile off my face right now.

  7. The play improves immensely when you make the word substitution

    Oh Davey, nothing could improve that play. Except maybe if she’d play with her hoohaa instead of talking.

  8. That’s the Friday “fun” link. I guess this is a slow fun day, as they say in the business.

    And “vagina” is offensive to some people? It must have been pretty rough for them when they found out they had to pass through one at birth.

  9. Yes, Vagina, there is a Santa Claus.

  10. they just announced over the local radio station (local to where the news story occurred) that the sign will be changed back to “Vagina”

  11. My member loves hoohah.

  12. Not as much as my ding-a-ling.

    We’re at a sad state when the proper terms for things are considered offensive.

  13. They should have renamed it “The Bajingo Monologues.”

  14. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.

  15. Vagina is for lovers.
    Sorry, I’ll stop now.

  16. I see a marketing opportunity for a corporate sponsor on the sign in place of “hoohaa.” Perhaps –

    Taco Bell


    Volvo (close)

  17. gryl nails the Scrubs reference. I was watching that episode last night. “My mother was always yelling at that pool boy in the shed. But she never fired him, even when he kidnapped her and took her to Acapulco.”

  18. I would have renamed it The Vaggie Tales to see how many young Christian families I could get to show up.

  19. Perhaps they should start with the Labia Prologues, before they work up to the full monologue.

  20. If I were the aunt, I would’ve just told the niece either the Latin or the medical meaning of the word: “sheath” or “canal”. Then I would’ve slapped her across her inquisitive face and told her never to say that filthy word again.

    (…just kidding.) 🙂

  21. On one blog I was reading, one woman said that when she was growing up, her family called it her “front bottom”. Now that is just sad.

  22. “front bottom”

    Her entire family were submissives? No doms in the whole joint?

  23. I have absolutely zero interest in ever seeing/listening to “The Vagina Monologues,” but switching the title to a slang name, even a stupidly innocuous one like hoo-haa, strikes me as more likely to be “dirty” than using the actual term.

  24. The story describes “hoohaa” as “child slang”. The woman had complained that she had to explain “vagina” to her daughter.

    So the problem came about because they used a word a child didn’t understand? And therefore they had to change it to a word a child might understand?

  25. Ain’t that what troops say to get pumped up before going in? Hooohaa! And sometimes cops too after a breifing on how to bust someone?

  26. Robert | February 9, 2007, 3:09pm | #
    The story describes “hoohaa” as “child slang”. The woman had complained that she had to explain “vagina” to her daughter.

    Now she has to explain hoohaa to her daughter. Or vice versa.

  27. “The play is being brought to the theater by a group of law school students and all of the proceeds are going to various charity organizations.”

    Possible substitute titles:

    The Billable Hours Monologues

    The Rooster Clucks Defiance and the lawyer [etc]

  28. “The woman had complained that she had to explain “vagina” to her daughter.”

    Just wait til she has to explain the Rule against Perpetuities.

    I, myself, prefer “The Poontang Parodies”

    Any while you’re at it, please change “Comment on this article” to “Snark this article”.

  29. I remember SNL doing a spoof on how black folks put on budget rip-offs of successful shows. They called it:

    Talkin’ ‘Bout ‘Ginas

  30. So when are a bunch of men gonna put on a production of “Tool Talk”?

  31. “On one blog I was reading, one woman said that when she was growing up, her family called it her “front bottom”. Now that is just sad. ”

    I had always heard the word ‘fanny’ used to refer to someone’s backside, but it turns out that in England, Australia, New Zealand etc. it means “front bottom”.

  32. Stevo Darkly,

    I was going to suggest “Cock Talk,” but whatever.

  33. Dang, that is the most poetic explanation of why that play had to be written ever. The ‘offended’ woman wasn’t just ashamed of her hoohaa, she was ashamed of having to explain what one was to her niece, who has one.

  34. No, she was ashamed of the grown-up word for it, apparently. The explanation’s the same either way.

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