Imagine There's No Camembert/ I Wonder If You Can

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Britain's stilton manufacturers are about to lose out on the budding legions of preteen cheesemongers, thanks to a government ban.

The Food Standards Agency assessed the levels in 100g or 100ml serving of food or drink.

But the British Cheese Board said the typical portion size of cheese was 30 to 40g. Most cheese would be exempt from the ban if a typical sized portion was used.

Instead it has been branded more unhealthy than sugary cereals, full fat crisps and cheeseburgers.

Ofcom will now ban adverts of cheese during kids' TV programmes, or shows with a large proportion of child viewers.

It seems like only two months ago that Ofcom (the UK's FCC) was banning advertisements for "junk food"… because it was two months ago. At this rate, expect a ban on advertising that shows people sitting down and not exercising by July or August.

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  1. Here’s a list from the Telegraph of other foods that have been nixed from the adverts as well. The most frightening thing is that I barely even find this shit surprising anymore.

    “Foods caught by the junk food ban:

    Marmite, Flora Lite, half-fat cheddar cheese, Dairylea triangles, bran flakes, camembert, sugar-coated puffed wheat, instant hot oat cereal, Jaffa cakes, reduced calorie mayonnaise, multi-grain hoop cereal, half-fat creme fraiche, takeaway chicken nuggets, potato waffles, Greek yoghurt (sheep), ham, sausages, bacon rashers, low-fat spreads, peanuts, cashew nuts, pistachio nuts, peanut butter, raisins, sultanas, currants, low-fat potato crisps, olive oil, butter, pizza, hamburgers, tomato ketchup, chocolate, brown sauce, cola, lemonade”

  2. This is how the War on Smoking started. It’s all downhill from here.

  3. Real cheese is unhealthy at any speed. When will we wake up and join our enlightened friends in Britain? Soon, I hope. Advertising bans don’t go far enough, but at least they give people a chance to make healthy choices.

  4. Advertising bans don’t go far enough, but at least they give people a chance to make healthy choices.

    How are your choices limited by advertisements for cheese?

  5. How are your choices limited by advertisements for cheese?

    The problem is that there aren’t enough limitations on choices, which is why so many people make the wrong ones. Advertising bans are a first step, because at least they protect people from harmful messages. But people will still have the same choices, unfortunately. To really make a difference, we need to take on Big Dairy.

  6. I don’t get the John Lennon reference.

  7. The problem is that there aren’t enough limitations on choices, which is why so many people make the wrong ones. Advertising bans are a first step, because at least they protect people from harmful messages. But people will still have the same choices, unfortunately. To really make a difference, we need to take on Big Dairy.

    Subtle, but effective. Considering some of the posts by “Dan T.” and “Ted” it’s getting hard to differentiate between satire and ignorance.

  8. Subtle, but effective. Considering some of the posts by “Dan T.” and “Ted” it’s getting hard to differentiate between satire and ignorance.

    I’m reasonably sure Alice is being sarcastic. But only because of the reference to Big Cheese.

    You never know though.

  9. A troll by any other name is just as cheesy.

  10. I’m reasonably sure Alice is being sarcastic. But only because of the reference to Big Cheese.

    I don’t know why you see sarcasm in this reference. When it comes to killing people and causing human misery, Big Tobacco can’t shine Big Dairy’s shoes.

  11. Big Tobacco can’t shine Big Dairy’s shoes

    …without looking longingly at her ankles.

  12. It should be noted that peanuts, cashews and peanut butter also appear on the list. The power of Big Nuts should not be overlooked.

  13. Remember, the poster Alice Pitney is flogging a book.

    I don’t remember the number of rules, but surely posting or reponding to posts that are lamely disguised advertisements – yeah, I’m including you so-called advancedsarcasm guy – calls for a drink.

    I guess I should have a drink with a bit of Stilton. What is the appropriate tipple with such a cheese?

  14. I guess I should have a drink with a bit of Stilton. What is the appropriate tipple with such a cheese?

    High fructose corn syrup!

  15. Is used to be you could only make up wacky crap like this.

    At least now in the UK, truth will always be stranger than fiction. Can the US be far behind?

  16. “What is the appropriate tipple with such a cheese?”

    Numero uno would be Vintage Port (say a 1975 Taylor or Fonseca) but for one they are extremly expensive and then you have not always enough people around to down a whole bottle.

    So a good choice would be a Late Bottled Vintage Port, or a nice old Madeira, or an Oloroso Sherry. Or you could try a sprited Australian Riesling.

  17. I guess I should have a drink with a bit of Stilton. What is the appropriate tipple with such a cheese?

    Stilton being a bleu-veined cheese, I’d say Listerine.

  18. Here’s a heads-up:

    “The problem is that there aren’t enough limitations on choices, which is why so many people make the wrong ones. Advertising bans are a first step, because at least they protect people from harmful messages. But people will still have the same choices, unfortunately.”

    is the sort of thing libertarians imagine their opponents saying. People actually making “Alice’s” case don’t actually believe that. Alice is a troll, deliberately writing the way the libertarians JUST KNOW their opponents really think.

    I can spot the difference between what, say, Morgan Spurlock would right and what a libertarians attemopting to replicate Morgan Spurlock’s thinking, from a mile away. Being unable to spot obvious trolls like this is a symptom of believing your side’s own propaganda.

  19. I guess I should have a drink with a bit of Stilton. What is the appropriate tipple with such a cheese?

    Jolt Cola.

    Bran flakes are banned? Rasins? What’s left, granola and tofu?

  20. joe–

    There is no imagining the advertising ban–that’s the whole source of this thread. Perhaps you mean that we are making up the reasons for the ban, since nobody has actually explicitly said that those are the reasons for it. But it is hardly a stretch to infer the rest of that paragraph, namely that the motive for the ban is to restrict people’s choices in a way that will pass legal scrutiny. If you have an alternative theory as to the rationale for such an advertising ban, let’s hear it.

    As was noted above, “Alice Pitney” is a promotion scheme for a new book. I think it’s pretty clever, myself.

  21. Oh, joe! You are soooo enlightened, morally superior, even pristine!

    We simply don’t deserve that you deign to contribute to those our miserable little threads, mixing with us who are more than merely a bit misguided but truly errant in our libertarian ways.

    So, please, don’t! (condescend)

  22. Maybe you should just stop being a pansy, Grether.

  23. Alice is a troll, deliberately writing the way the libertarians JUST KNOW their opponents really think.

    Alice is obviously trolling by “her” phrasing, but the problem is that I’ve actually seen sentiments much like that presented and argued sincerely – and even angrily, in the face of opposition – both online and in person.

  24. I can spot the difference between what, say, Morgan Spurlock would right and what a libertarians attemopting to replicate Morgan Spurlock’s thinking, from a mile away.

    It frightens me a little to think that you know Spurlock’s writing style. You actually read that witless tool?

    Besides joe, do think we were born libertarians or that maybe, just maybe, libertarians go through an ideological evolution of sorts in their lifetime? FWIW, “Alice” makes me chuckle. It’s condensed parody, but it’s spot on. I know I’ve heard, and probably thought at one point long ago, the drivel that Alice “thinks.”

  25. “you have not always enough people around to down a whole bottle.”

    Takes several to get down 100 grams of Stilton. Count on two cases and a bushel of pears per 5-pound wheel.

    Perhaps we should be thankful to the Neo Nannys
    in this case, as depriving children of Stilton makes more available to adults, and promotes free trade in port . I’m for a complete ban at 10 Downing though. Far too good for them.

  26. “Being unable to spot obvious trolls like this is a symptom of believing your side’s own propaganda.”

    So, the fact that I spotted Alice as a cutesy attempt at viral advertising must obviously show that I’m a superior intellect.

    And I’m a libertarian.

    hummmmmm…

  27. That means more Wensleydale for me, eh Gromit ol’ boy?

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