Religion

Mullah Omar Says, 'I Wish You Wouldn't Smoke'

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The Taliban are advising their fighters that "mujahideen should refrain from smoking cigarettes." This almost optional-sounding rule, addressed only to soldiers, makes the Taliban look moderate compared to Somalia's Islamists, who have imposed a tobacco ban on the general population in the areas they control. But Mullah Omar makes up for this mushiness with his rule regarding government-employed teachers, the killing of whom is mandatory after a warning and a beating.

[via The Stogie Guys]

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  1. But Mullah Omar makes up for this mushiness with his rule regarding government-employed teachers, the killing of whom is mandatory after a warning and a beating.

    Threes strikes sounds pretty reasonable. It’s not they don’t get a warning and a beating first.

  2. Don’t forget, the DC smoking ban begins in a couple of weeks. The DC Council should be proud to share the company of such exalted allies.

  3. But never forget that it is America that’s evil.

  4. “mujahideen should refrain from smoking cigarettes.”

    As long as they don’t have a problem with the hookahs, who gives a damn?

  5. Hey Jacob, its just a part of the job contract remember 🙂

    My favorite however….

    ? 19. Mujahideen are not allowed to take young boys with no facial hair on to the battlefield or into their private quarters.

  6. Joke all you want, but studies have shown that smoking is the second leading cause of death among suicide bombers.

  7. Joke all you want, but studies have shown that smoking is the second leading cause of death among suicide bombers.

    What’s the first?

  8. The Taliban may have been a bloodthirsty regime, but here they show that when it comes to stopping the evils of second-hand smoke they are more progressive than the Republican Party.

  9. Afghanistan is going to pot. This is just going to make a hash of all our efforts.

    Oh well, religion is the opiate of the masses.

  10. But Mullah Omar makes up for this mushiness with his rule regarding government-employed teachers, the killing of whom is mandatory after a warning and a beating.

    The story is facutally incorrect. The name “Mullah Omar” should be replaced with “Mayor Greg Nickels”. Just sayin’.

  11. And this just a day after Uncle Sam urged its soldiers not to drink. I smell one-up-manship.

  12. What does Mullah Omar have to say about trans-fats?

  13. And this just a day after Uncle Sam urged its soldiers not to drink.

    Uncle Sam must hate soldiers.
    Yet ANOTHER study, announced yesterday, confirms the beneficial effects of moderate alcohol consumption.

    I’m drinking to that now.

    [Tangential from here on out – abandon ship if you want strictly on topic.]

    And speaking of soldiers, I happen to be watching an Ultimate Fighting Championship event taking place whilst doing my drinking-for-health…at a Marine Corps base, with the Marines at least doing some recruiting with ads on the ring mat, which brought to mind Matt Welch’s recent pimp-slapping of John McCain, who railed against UFC a while back. Now mixed martial arts training is common in the military, and they’re using this event to do at least a little recruiting (ad space on the mat – surprisingly no Marine Corps commercials thus far).

  14. “A Mujahid who takes a foreign infidel as prisoner with the consent of a group leader may not exchange him for other prisoners or money.”

    Damn, they don’t let you have *any* fun!

  15. Damn, they don’t let you have *any* fun!

    Whada ya mean, they don’t let you have any fun?

    Ya get to kill teachers doncha?

  16. “But Mullah Omar makes up for this mushiness with his rule regarding government-employed teachers, the killing of whom is mandatory after a warning and a beating.”

    Wow, libertarian Taliban. No wonder Dana Rorabacher likes them so much.

    I keed, I keed.

  17. Wow, libertarian Taliban. No wonder Dana Rorabacher likes them so much.

    Rimshot. (laughter, applause)

    joe wins!

  18. If the UAE is any indication of that part of the region (a stretch, really), those guys probably smoke like chimneys.

    If you’re not smoking and gratuitously flaunting the no smoking rules in the malls in Abu Dhabi or Dubai (where they paradoxically have ashtrays every 20 feet or so), they look at you funny. Seriously.

    Of course that could also be due to the fact that I’m a Big ‘Ol ‘Merican.

  19. Jacob Sullum wrote: “But Mullah Omar makes up for this mushiness with his rule regarding government-employed teachers, the killing of whom is mandatory after a warning and a beating.”

    Oh c’mon, at least it’s not a zero-tolerance policy.

  20. Sounds like the ‘people’ of ireland, DC and California.

    Also sounds like an old-school Germany deal that is probably BS after the other rumours I have looked up/

  21. First a warning, then a beating, then they kill you. An interesting version of the “three strikes you’re out” law.

  22. That should teach them to, uh, teach.

    Foreign charity workers don’t out so well under these regulations, either.

  23. Perhaps the Americans should just leave Afghanistan to the Taliban. A nation where 90% of the education consists of rote-learning the Koran in a foreign language (Arabic) isn’t going to be building any nuclear bombs anytime soon.

  24. By the time you see this video, I will be dead. It was cigarettes that claimed my life…or bombs, whatever.

  25. Does this mean that we can start referring to Ralph Nader and Mayor Bloomburg as the “Taliban” wing of American politics? I think so.

  26. It’s a sad day when the Taliban are more enlightened than the U.S.

  27. Is MJ still OK?

  28. Weirdly, however, the Taliban is still very relaxed on the issue of private gun ownership.

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