I'm Sure There's a "Spotted Dick" Joke in Here, Somewhere

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The British government has informed a Welsh company that makes a spicy brand of sausage called "Dragon Sausage" that they must change the name of the product.

Why?  Because it doesn't contain actual dragon meat.

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  1. I think its nice that they’ve come right out and admitted that they think Brits are morons.

  2. So what about “Dragon Fruit”?

  3. A long time ago I went to a store and asked for a game called “Dungeons and Dragons.” But they gave me neither dungeons nor dragons. All they gave me was some books, some weird dice, and a whole bunch of graph paper.

  4. I don’t know about spotted dick but when it rains a lot we get blue dick.

  5. So I take it now they can’t call it Passion Fruit ’cause it didn’t make that cute little number in the typing pool fall madly in love with me. Fine with me.

  6. Pineapples come from deciduous trees, not pines. And you can’t eat them like regular apples, which I only learned after a few dozen stitches in my mouth. Where was the BritGuv then?

  7. But how can they prove it has no dragon in it?

    Aha! They’ve finally admitted that they have dragon DNA! Those bastards tried to keep it under wraps, but they’ve finally outsmarted even themselves.

    And I don’t think they’ll be able to deny it this time, since they’ve admitted it in such a public forum. Ha! The biggest secret since Bigfoot’s engagement to Nessie blown because of some sausage inspectors! Oh, the irony of it all! I can hardly contain myself!

  8. Britain is now a parody of itself. The supernannies, the knife registration, fining people who curse out yobs…I can’t think of any wacky idea I’d put money on their not having thought of already.

  9. Britain is now a parody of itself.

    One of the best lines I ever read about Britain was when some writer referred to Britain as “a decadent little island sinking giggling into the sea.”

    I can’t for the life of me remember who it was. It was back in the 60s though. Google couldn’t even help. Maybe I dreamed it, or something. Like I said it was the 60s. 🙂

  10. Isn’t that the reason that a number of products here in the US have the word “brand” in them? For example, Wolf Brand Chili doesn’t actually have any wolf meat in it, and if they called it Wolf Chili it would violate truth in advertising laws. Or at least that’s what I heard, I could be wrong.

  11. I think the new law makes a lot of sense. I’d be p.o.’d if I found out my Thankgiving turducken didn’t come from a real turducken.

  12. Mr. Bartram,

    My favorite comment about Britain is from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. One of them says to the other that England is a real place and not “a conspiracy of cartographers.”

  13. Damnit, should have looked it up.

    Rosencrantz: I don’t believe in it anyway.
    Guildenstern: What?
    Rosencrantz: England.
    Guildenstern: Just a conspiracy of cartographers, then?

  14. What about “Chicken of the Sea” tuna? We already have record of Jessica Simpson being confused by that mislabeling.

  15. Do they have Jimmy Dean sausage in England?

  16. Does this mean Welch Rarebit does not have any Rarebit?

    http://www.therecipereader.com/welch-rarebit-ordway.htm

  17. Actually its not the fault of the British goverment, except in the fact they are part of it all, but in fact that of Brussels incessant meddling in every aspect of life.

  18. Well Stevo, since Chicken of the Sea tastes just like chicken there is no harm, no fowl, and no problem

  19. So why do they still call the place “Great Britain?”

  20. A few years ago, some consumer protection part of the EU sued the company Haribo, the originators of the gummi bear, because Haribo’s slogan was “Haribo makes kids happy” (it rhymes in German). Since it was not in fact true that Haribo products inevitably led to kids being happy, it was a violation of truth in advertising.

  21. “except in the fact they are part of it all, but in fact that of Brussels incessant meddling in every aspect of life.”

    Didn’t read anything about Brussels.
    Most of the UK’s kookery can be blamed on the longterm trend of surreal paternalism unique to itself. Even without the EU, I’m afraid the citizens of that country would still be subject to all the nonsensical whims of their government that we read about regularly.

  22. Don’t even get me started on the mincemeat pie.

  23. There is precedent in England for this sort of thing:

    http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/crunchy.htm

    “Milton: It says ‘crunchy frog’ quite clearly.

    “Praline: Well, the superintendent thought it was an almond whirl. People won’t expect there to be a frog in there. They’re bound to think it’s some form of mock frog.

    “Milton: (insulted) Mock frog? We use no artificial preservatives or additives of any kind!

    “Praline: Nevertheless, I must warn you that in future you should delete the words ‘crunchy frog’, and replace them with the legend ‘crunchy raw unboned real dead frog’, if you want to avoid prosecution.”

  24. When will they think of all the poor people who are deceived by sweetbreads and sweetmeats, not to mention divinity.

  25. Damn it. WLM beat me to the punch with the Crunchy Frog reference.

    “It’s a fair cop.”

  26. Are you telling me the Harry Potter Chocolate Frog has no real frog in it?

    http://www.candydirect.com/specialty/Harry-Potter-Chocolate-Frogs.html

  27. Ryan:

    Good point, but I think they can get away with it since the candy is a reference to the books.

    Chocolate Bunnies during Easter however…those are anti-advertising-fraud crusader’s wet dream come true.

  28. Amd I suppose there’s no actual toad in Toad-In-The-Hole?

    Kevin

  29. Pigs in a blanket?

  30. Bad Frog Beer?

  31. Bear Whizz Beer? “It’s the Water! That’s why it’s yellow!”

  32. Just across the Ohio River from Sinincincinnati is made a faux sausage called “getta.” (Happened to drive by Gliers just a short while ago.)
    This company had the good sense many years ago to say, “Hey, you bet we’re making sausage adulterated with oats. You got a problem with that?”
    It’s just sad from my point of view, as I had lovely relatives down in Tennessee making getta, but labelling it sausage… family business up in dragon flames.

  33. And there ain’t no oysters in “Prairie Oysters”.

  34. WLM, you left out the best line in the bit…

    Praline: Well don’t you even take the bones out?

    Milton: If we took the bones out it wouldn’t be crunchy would it?

    BTW, after consulting the wikipedia list of English cuisine I find that…Shepherd’s Pie is NOT made with real shepherd, Toad-in-the-Hole contains no frogs and Pork Faggots…well, do I really need to go there?

  35. What about animal crackers?

    I used to love those when I was a kid!

  36. I just found out Captain Crunch has no Captains in it. And the Crunch Berries aren’t real berries, either. Man this sucks.

  37. Did you know Chicko-sticks don’t have Chicken in them? And just what’s in a Slim Jim, anyway? The mind reels.

  38. baby oil id next on the list.

  39. Elephant Ears? I mean, I figured we were buying them at a carnival and all…

  40. Head cheese doesn’t contain any cheese, but I don’t know how you could tell. It looks like puke in jello.

  41. What about Grape Nuts? No grapes. No nuts.

  42. Does this mean that there’ll be hag in my haggis from now on? Wow, I didn’t think they could make it any harder to eat. Wrong again!

  43. Does this mean that there’ll be hag in my haggis from now on?

    That’ll put hair on your ass!

  44. The British government needs to start collecting royalties on all the comedy gold they’re producing lately.

    The rate they’re going they could wipe out the budget deficit in a month.

  45. So I wonder, just what was in that can of monkey meat?

  46. That explains why I didn’t get the expected buzz from eating that can of Potted Meat.

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