An American Devolution


This parody of that odious Chevy pick-up truck ad with John Mellencamp, you know the one, the one that has fouled every American sporting event on TV for weeks now, is in some ways more positive and pro-American than the original.

Plus, something cannot be American without a big helping of smart-ass on the side.

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  1. This is hilarious.

    I love football, but the goddamn beer and truck commercials are driving me insane.

    I have to wonder, does this kind of cheesy Americana shit really sell trucks?

  2. I’d doubt it. I can’t see where the guy driving a Ford truck with a “Calvin pissing on a Chevy logo” sticker sees this commercial and decides to buy Chevy.

    I was at a sports bar yesterday and this commercial was in each broadcast at least six times. With 10 different games being on at the same time, you couldn’t escape it.

    Even through this was probably true already, I hope I never hear a John Cougar Mellencamp song again.

  3. Doesn’t bother me a bit, ’cause I can no longer stand to watch the NFL. The constant start-stop, replay it three times, go to commercial, repeat till you’re nauseous finally drove me from a game I used to enjoy. I can honestly say I haven’t heard “Like A Rock” all this autumn, and the quality of my life has improved dramatically. Yes, this makes me superior.

  4. ed’s onto something. But, while I haven’t chucked football, I can no longer stand to watch baseball.

    A two-and-a-half-hour, already slow-paced sport stretched to 4 hours by a bunch of arrogant, fan-hating millionaires that can’t keep their fat thighs in the batter’s box long enough to get through a turn at bat have forever screwed baseball in my eyes. Relentless beer & truck commercials only make it even more agonizingly boring.

    And they wonder why no one watches the World Series, anymore.

    And NASCAR? Watching three hours of left turns is a pitiful waste of a man’s time.

    But what do I know…I watch the U.S. Open.

  5. THANK you. If babies are the “purpose” of blue-collar men, then I’m a vermicious knid. A picture of a pole dancer would be more accurate, and would probably sell more Chevy trucks.

    I note also that Little David Eckstein received a Corvette for being the World Series MVP, and not one of their underpowered work trucks. Not like he’d be able to reach the gas pedal in either case.

  6. The quality of commercials played during football games really make me question whether I want to be a part of the demographic the advertisers are going for. Beer commercials are the worst; all men are beer guzzling morons incapable of doing anything but obsessing about beer and all women are scantily clad hookers sent here for said men’s pleasure. Basically, they are an insult to the entire human race, as opposed to just insulting one particular country (The USA) like this truck ad does.

    For the record I don’t find the parody that funny. It kicks around and parodies all of the easy targets, fat people, poor white people, the government and so fourth. Put a black crack whore on there or a drunken Indian or some other affront to PC culture and it might of had a chance.

  7. But commercials during daytime tv are worse. It’s weight-loss, cleaning products, no-collateral loans….

    At least with sporting events, the ads have high production values and I get the see the Budweiser Clydedales once in a while.

  8. What troubles me most is someone somewhere sat at a desk at an advertising agency listening to John Wombat Mellencamp and said “You know, there’s a big idea here.”

  9. “Put a black crack whore on there or a drunken Indian or some other affront to PC culture and it might of had a chance.”

    You, sir, are a regular Margaret Cho.**

    Yes! Exactly! There’s nothing funnier than a crack whore — wait, make that a BLACK crack whore — and a drunken Indian!

    I will say this though, for better or for worse, Black Crack Whore/Drunk Indian does sound like a pretty solid Wayans brothers movie that would take in 35 mil opening weekend. So who knows, John, maybe your sense of humor isn’t just as finely honed as Madge Cho’s. Maybe you could even pass as a Wayans.

    I applaud your restraint. It must have taken everything you have to not throw a cutting-edge Lewinsky joke in there. Or some of the classic You-might-be-a-redneck-if… jokes. Maybe an “Is That Your Final Answer?” reference.

    **That’s not a compliment, by the way.

  10. Am I the only one that thinks the funniest part of these commercials is the fact it took a little less than year for John Mellencamp to whore out his anti-war “anthem”??

    Hooray for principled artists!!

  11. Whore out? I got no love for these ads, but the man does make and sell music for a living. I don’t get the disdain that people show for an artist who sells his music to advertisers. I understand getting upset when the ad is played so much that you get sick of hearing a favorite artist or tune, but the radio does that too. Just because a song is anti-war, doesn’t mean the guy isn’t trying to make a buck.

  12. sr2,

    The question I would pose is this:

    Is JC Mellencamp the American Bryan Adams, or is Bryan Adams the Canadian John Coogs?

    Or, to delve even deeper, could John Cougar Summercamp be the Canadian Bryan Adams?


  13. Hooray for principled artists!!

    Well, I suppose everyone has his price. How much do you suppose it would take to buy off Steve Earle?

  14. IMO, the original ad is right up there on my shit-list with all of those feel good “we can save the world” telecom ads that AT&T puts out. Facking drivel makes me second guess the free market. ACK!

  15. Our country buys a hell of a lot more Civics than Chevy trucks.

  16. Our country buys a hell of a lot more Civics than Chevy trucks.

    Nope joe. Our country buys trucks. 3 of the 4 top selling vehicles in 2005 were trucks.

  17. Kind of funny that we buy more Camrys than Rams, though – does that represent the demographic that really wants a truck but decides to get something “sensible”?

    Hypothesis: People who drive Dodge Rams are more fun than people who drive Toyota Camrys, but do not live as long.

  18. No way, people who buy regular boring cars like the Camry, Accord or Nissan have big penises to compensate for.

  19. Matt L,

    I googled the question. Truck models from top-5 manufacturers are at the top of the per-model listings.

    But there are many more car models than truck models. In 2004, the top 20 vehicles sold included 10 cars (Japanese in the lead, but plenty of American models), 8 trucks (all Big Three) and 2 vans (American). Sales came out to about 3 million trucks, 3 million cars, and 400,000 vans, of those in the top 20.

    As you move past #20, car models become even more predominant, so cars end up with over 50% of the market. For some reason, the truck market is divided in many fewer nameplates, so each one gets a relatively larger share.

    Addendum: The Model T is still the 7th best selling nameplate of all time. How cool is that?

  20. How much do you suppose it would take to buy off Steve Earle? – Jim Walsh

    Uhh… about a kilo?


  21. joe,

    Just admit Matt’s right.

    It was a valiant try at the old bait and switch… But you didn’t initially claim that CARS outsold TRUCKS, you argued that people in the U.S. buy “a hell of a lot more Civics than Chevy trucks.”

    Now, maybe where you live there are a lot of Civics. But out in the rest of the country, it’s Ford trucks as far as the eye can see… (Having driven nearly coast-to-coast recently, my crappy anecdotal evidence comes from a broader sample… and is backed up by actual numbers.)

    Just so you know that I’m not some kind of Ford fanatic, this is coming from a guy whose spouse drives an Accord and I drive a Nissan Titan when I’m not tooling around with the top down on my Honda Del Sol… Instead I just fanatically hate to see you pull a fast one – even on something this trivial.

    Chevy definitely sells more trucks than Honda sells Civics no matter how you slice it.

    Perhaps for no other reason than that there are plenty of Chevy trucks in corporate fleets (construction firms, etc) while Civics tend to be at the bottom of the list for white-collar business-types looking for a “company car” – it’s just not as fancy as say… the #1-selling car, the Toyota Camry.

    Basic Googling reveals that Ford F-Series trucks dominate (900K sold), followed by Chevy trucks (760K sold), with the Toyota Camry placing third (431K sold). That means the best-selling car (not even a Civic) sold only about 1/3 the number of Ford F-Series and 1/2 the number of Chevy trucks.

    The highest numbers the Civic ever posted was 331,780 back in 2001:

    “The current Civic debuted in 2000 and peaked in the United States with 331,780 sold the next year. Honda sold 309,196 Civics in 2004. This year through July, sales fell to 168,911.”

    “the Ford F-Series remains far and away the best-selling vehicle in the U.S., posting 901,463 retail deliveries in 2005, well ahead of the 769,166 sales of Chevrolet’s full-sized pickups and Camry’s 431,703, the next two closest.”

    Good thing you’re a city planner – that’s the kind of job where being an expert means you can’t be trumped by quibbling things like facts or numbers…

  22. I miss those old Philip Morris ads that featured the pretty Phillip Morris lady hopping off a helicopter to deliver food and medicine to starving refugees, announcing as she does, “I’m so and so, from Philip Morris.”

  23. Good job repeating everything I wrote, rob.

    As usual, you managed to add nothing to the conversation, and come off a jerk.

  24. joe – Don’t forget that I proved you wrong. Of course, people do that frequently enough not to merit mention, I suppose… But that’s always a good contribution to the conversation.

    I suppose it’s just a matter of principle for me, really. The whole Civic vs. trucks line is an example of how your worldview leads you to write pretty wacky things as tho you were pronouncing fundamental truths. Then when you get called on it, you always have something snarky to say other than “Woops. My bad. I was wrong.”

    Even a broken watch is right twice a day, joe, which thoroughly beats your average around here.

    Even on something that ISN’T political and in which you’ve clearly stepped in a steaming pile, you just. can’t. admit. you’re. wrong.

    You get an A+ for consistency, tho.

  25. Rich Ard said:
    Hypothesis: People who drive Dodge Rams are more fun than people who drive Toyota Camrys, but do not live as long.

    So what you are saying is I’m more fun than my parents but they will live longer than me.

    Full disclosure – I drive a Hemi powered Dodge Ram.

  26. “joe – Don’t forget that I proved you wrong.”

    Don’t take this the wrong way, rob, but it’s kind of pathetic the way you follow joe around these threads trying to bait him. He pretty much admitted that what Matt said was true, and modified his original statement to Civic-type vehicles (cars) vs trucks. You didn’t prove anything except that you desperately need a hobby and some alternate source of self-validation.

  27. joe, rob: jesus h christ, this was a JOKE article about a PARODY AD. somehow that devolves into some pedantic argument about auto sales, i’m totally lost. get back to work you slackers, have you nothing better to do?

  28. Sparky – Yep. Pathetic. But who needs a hobby when I’ve got joe to follow around?

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