Revealed!: Secret Plans of Crack-Whore Dems!

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The Wall Street Journal reports on the secret plans of Dems if and when they take over the House of Representatives: An email written by a member of Congress reveals that the Donkey Party will "plot to establish a Department of Peace, raise your taxes and minimize penalties for crack dealers."

Oh, wait: That email was written by the House Majority Whip, Missouri Republican Roy Blunt, and says far more about mounting GOP hysteria than anything about their rivals.

And that sort of thing doubtless helps explain why Congress' approval ratings are lingering around the mid-teens longer than Mark Foley on a Saturday night:

congress rating.gif

Possible sop to Republicans: The Journal points out that while just 16 percent of voters approve of Congress as whole (or perhaps more accurately, as a 'hole), some 39 percent think their crook deserves reelection. By the same token, "In October 1994, with the public fed up with scandals and the failure of President Clinton and his party's lawmakers to deliver in key areas such as health care, voters said by a nine-point margin—46% to 37%—that they wanted Republicans to take control. That compares with the 15-point margin today in favor of Democrats' taking the reins."

More here, for folks with a subscription to the WSJ.

Hat tip: Film critic extraordinaire Alan Vanneman.

NEXT: Do As I Proclaim, Not As I Do

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  1. Thats just what the donks WANT to do, Not what they think they can do. Isn’t that right Joe?

  2. What happened in February that was so great?

  3. “plot to establish a Department of Peace, raise your taxes and minimize penalties for crack dealers”

    Two outta 3 ain’t bad.

  4. I find it hysterical that the people who brought us Department of Homeland Security: America Uber Alles! are terrified of a “Department of Peace”. Come on, what’s another department among friends?

    I thought the only Dem that actually supported that idea with Dennis Kucinich. And again, how much power does he have? Nil. Or close to it.

    That, and I doubt they could pull off a tax increase even if they wanted to (which is debatable). As for crack dealers, I wouldn’t mind removing the penalties for posession and sale altogether… but that’s another story.

    If Blunt is going to scare me, he’s going to have to try harder.

    (BTW, what, exactly, would a Department of Peace do? I’m still a little confused, as I don’t think “Nuke the Moon” is what they have in mind…)

  5. As long as the “Department of Peace” doesn’t involve any Orwellian irony, and as long as the tax increase comes with spending cuts, I don’t have a problem with *any* of that.

  6. Hmm… just read the Wikipedia entry. It has a little more support than I thought. Sounds like another stupid and unnecessary bureaucracy to me, but I’d take it over the DHS and the Patriot Act any day and Sunday.

    On the other hand, I believe we should establish a Department of Peace Enhancement (DOPE), which would be geared around distributing chemicals that would make the general populous more peaceful… the acronym says it all…

  7. What, exactly, would a Department of Peace do?

    Keep the Peace by hiring hundreds of bureaucrats (damn that’s a hard world to spell) to look busy doing the important work of the Department of Peace.
    Go on expensive fact-finding missions to every place in the world where facts about peace are to be found.
    Spend their entire budget and then ask for increased funding next year. Use this money to hire more bureaucrats.
    All kinds of expensive things that have nothing to do with peace.

  8. Where do I sign up for a party that will plot to establish a Department of crack dealers, raise your Peace and minimize penalties for taxes?

  9. Abdul:

    I think the Guns and Dope party includes all of those in their platform…

  10. 1994: “The Dems are corrupt and aren’t getting anything done, so let’s let the Republicans take over!”

    2006: “The Republicans are corrupt and aren’t getting anything done, so let’s let the Dems take over!”

    Vicious cycle, much?

  11. lingering around the mid-teens longer than Mark Foley on a Saturday night

    oh, dip!

    Thats pretty snappy. Then again maybe i’m easily humored.

    I really would rather wait until the elections are over to think about this crap.

    JG

  12. A libertarian staffer wrote that list. Talk about your cognitive dissonance.

    Full list:

    Department of Peace and Nonviolence Act – H.R. 3760: Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) and 74 Democratic cosponsors propose a new Department of Peace and Nonviolence” as well as “National Peace Day.” Cosponsors include three would-be Democratic Chairmen: John Conyers (Judiciary), George Miller (Education and the Workforce), and Charlie Rangel (Ways and Means).

    Gas Stamps – H.R. 3712: Jim McDermott (D-WA) and eight Democratic cosponsors want a “Gas Stamps” program similar to the Food Stamps program to subsidize the gasoline purchases of qualified individuals.

    Less Jail Time for Selling Crack Cocaine – H.R. 2456: Charlie Rangel (D-MI) and 23 Democratic cosponsors want to eliminate mandatory minimum sentences for possessing, importing, and distributing crack cocaine. John Conyers, the would-be Chairman of the Judiciary Committee, which has jurisdiction over the bill, is a cosponsor.

    Voting Rights for Criminals – H.R. 1300: John Conyers (D-MI) and 32 Democratic cosponsors, and H.R. 663: Charlie Rangel (D-NY) and 28 Democratic cosponsors would let convicted felons vote. Rep. John Conyers is the would-be Democratic Chairman of the Judiciary Committee which would consider this legislation.

    Expand Medicare to Include Diapers – H.R. 1052: Barney Frank (D-MA) supports Medicare coverage of adult diapers. Barney Frank is the would-be Chairman of the Financial Services Committee.

    Nationalized Health Care – H.R. 4683: John Dingell (D-MI) and 18 Democratic cosponsors want to expand Medicare to cover all Americans. John Dingell is the would-be Democratic Chairman of the Energy and Commerce Committee who along with cosponsors Charlie Rangel, would-be Chairman of the Ways and Means Committee, and Henry Waxman, would-be Chairman of the Government Reform Committee, would have jurisdiction over the proposal.

    Federal Regulation of Restaurant Menus – H.R. 5563: Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) and 25 Democratic cosponsors authorize federal regulation of the contents of restaurant menus.

    Taxpayer Funded Abortions & Elimination of all Restrictions on Abortion, Including Parental Notice – H.R. 5151: Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) and 66 Democratic cosponsors want to overturn even minimal restrictions on abortion such as parental notice requirements. The bill would also require taxpayer funding of abortions through the various federal health care programs. John Conyers, the would-be Chairman of Judiciary Committee which has jurisdiction over the bill, is an original cosponsor.

    Bill of Welfare Rights – H.J. Res. 29-35: Jesse Jackson, Jr. (D-IL) proposes a Soviet-style “Bill of Welfare Rights,” enshrining the rights of full employment, public education, national healthcare, public housing, abortion, progressive taxation, and union membership. On some these measures, Rep. Jackson is joined by up to 35 Democratic cosponsors, including would-be Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers.

  13. That Foley crack almost made me spit out my lunch. Bravo.

  14. jason – thanks for the full list.

  15. H.R. 5563: Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) and 25 democratic cosponsors authorize federal regulation of the contents of restaurant menus.

    I hope they regulate the menus so as to guarantee the presence of greasy beef burritos and X-tra large, salt-rimmed margaritas – but that’s probably not what they have in mind.

    S. 799 looks like another liberal winner:
    http://www.aaf.org/government/issue_obesity.html

  16. GM: Foley’s crack would make me spit -up- my lunch, were I presented with it.

  17. jason:

    That’s a scary list, except for Less Jail Time for Selling Crack Cocaine. That looks OK to me, although I don’t advocate using the stuff.

  18. “H.R. 1052: Barney Frank (D-MA) supports Medicare coverage of adult diapers.”

    That’s not too bad. It just sounds funny if you say it aloud.

  19. The voting rights for convicted felons isn’t a bad one either. In Florida, once convicted of a felony you are ineligble to vote, even after having served your sentence. This is one of the commonly quoted reasons that the 2000 election in FL went for Bush. I am not sure how much I believe that enough former felons would have voted, but I know at least one personally who would have.

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