Pennsylvanians, get thee to the polling booth and re-elect Rick Santorum! What other tribune of the people could offer hard-nosed policy analysis like this?
"As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else," Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle Earth.
"It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S.," Santorum continued. "You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States."
All joking aside, how much sense does this analogy make? Was Santorum referring to the hobbits' final approach up Mount Doom, when Aragorn (George Bush) was convincing the men of Gondor (Tony Blair) and Rohan (John Howard) to make a final, diversionary push at the Black Gates? Or is he referring to the entire quest of Frodo and Sam (300 million Americans), which was aided at various points by mystical creatures – the Ents, the Dead Men of Dunharrow – that don't have any easy relations in the real war on terror?
Bonus question: How ridiculous does Santorum need to get before pro-war stalwarts stop taking him so seriously?