What, Only Ten?

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tankerbell.jpg

Speaking of dumb senators, Radar has one of those lists that needed to be written, even though it 1) is a little short and 2) sometimes misses the mark. It's a top 10 compilation of the country's "Dumbest Congressmen." From the entry on Montana's Sen. Conrad Burns:

Casting his myopic gaze toward terrorism this summer, Burns offered a helpful clue to law enforcement officials: Be wary of "faceless" Arabs who "drive taxicabs by day and kill at night." But this minor bit of sociological skylarking actually represents progress, of sorts, considering his 1999 outburst blaming "ragheads" for rising gas prices and additional episodes in 1994 in which he delivered a casual joke from the podium about "niggers" and told another audience that living in Washington with so many blacks "is quite a challenge."

I suggest that the list misses the mark not because any of these people are smart, but because it rewards flamboyance and ideology more than actual dumbness. And the Hill is not wanting for dumbness. Thanks in part to gerrymandering, the political map is clogged with safe districts that get filled by the nitwits who breath fire the hottest and stamp their feed the loudest. Classic example: Georgia's Lynn Westmoreland. A developer from the northwest part of the state, he skated into office thanks to the GOP's light-speed ascension in Jimmy Carter's old stomping grounds. And he's an airhead. He hasn't introduced any legislation. He supports posting the Ten Commandments in the House and Senate, but can't name any of them.

And then there are the legacies—the kids who oozed into Congress on the strengths of their parents' political mojo. Patrick Kennedy, who made the Radar list, is justifiably the most famous of the next-gen lightweights. But I've never heard anyone argue for the brainpower of Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. or Sen. Lincoln Chafee. (Credit to Patrick Kennedy for one of the better jokes about political dynasties: "Now when I hear someone talking about a Rhode Island politician whose father was a senator and who got to Washington on his family name, used cocaine, and wasn't very smart, I know there is only a 50-50 chance it's me.")

Oh, and how many second-rate politicians will be joining the Congress on the strength of their family names after next month's elections? At least two.

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  1. “He supports posting the Ten Commandments in the House and Senate, but can’t name any of them.”

    Doesn’t his inability to name them demonstrate the need to have them posted in his workplace? Now who’s the dumb one?

  2. “He hasn’t introduced any legislation.”

    You know, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, I don’t care who you are.

  3. You just totally reminded me how much Mr. Show fucking rocks. Thanks!

  4. “He hasn’t introduced any legislation.”

    You know, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, I don’t care who you are.

    Funny, I was about to say the exact same thing.

  5. Again we ridicule the dimwits in office instead of the retards who put them there (and keep them there). Not that it wasn’t entertaining. And how the hell did Nancy Pelosi evade the list?

  6. I’m not a Hayworth fan, but untended forests are in fact a fire hazard.

  7. Has anyone seen Idiocracy? Clearly, our elected officials are on the bleeding edge of rapidly decreasing levels of intelligence.

  8. And we have a 525 way tie for 11th place.

  9. He supports posting the Ten Commandments in the House and Senate, but can’t name any of them.

    According to Rep. Lynn Westmoreland’s press secretary “…Brian Robinson, who insisted that the tape had been edited unfairly: In reality, Robinson said, Westmoreland had been able to recall seven.”

    I have no idea if this is actually true, but I do have a feeling it is since somebody could review the tape. As it being “unfair”, no way. It is a comedy show and their first objective is to make people laugh (I would think).

    BTW, posting the Ten Commandments in the House and the Senate is still a stupid idea.

  10. “BTW, posting the Ten Commandments in the House and the Senate is still a stupid idea. ”

    I could get along with posting “Thou shalt not steal”, Thou shalt not bear false witness” and “Thou shalt not commit murder.” Actually, I would suggest branding those three onto the hides of the whole lot. [It would give a whole new meaning to “maverick congressman.”

  11. And how the hell did Nancy Pelosi evade the list?

    Pelosi’s got a heck of a lot of shortcomings but even she’d have to work hard to outdo the ones they selected.

  12. Don’t stick your dick in these holes
    Don’t stick your dick in these holes
    These holes three are not, for, thee

  13. Ah, brings back memories of my undergraduate days, when New Times magazine ran a cover story about the 10 dumbest members of Congress. No. 1 on the list was my Senator, William L. Scott, who called a press conference to deny the charge.

  14. Come on now, Tankerbell shouldn’t be on that list. Mississippi fun bucks were genius.

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