Imagine the credibility we'll lose if I pull out of this page!

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My favorite wrinkle in Dennis Hastert's personal Vietnam has been the admonitions to stay the course on the congressional page program—a program that Americans have been made aware of exactly twice in history, both times because of sex scandals. Rep. Ray LaHood (R-Ill.) sensibly suggests that we get rid of this useless program. (Actually, it's worse than useless. If you want to lose your breakfast, read this metaphor-torturing former page talking about how the program broke the topsoil of his passion for government and turned him into what America really needs one more of—a lobbyist.) The idea of getting rid of pages—who are as vital to the functioning of government as copy boys and carrier pigeons are to modern newspapers and armies—has been shot full of pieces by sexperts like Republican Policy Committee Chairman Adam Putnam, (R-Fla.), who warns "It sends a message that Congress can't control itself and so we can't be trusted with children."

That it do. The argument that we'll lose credibility if we back down in the face of man-boy love is literally playing in Peoria, as we can see in this editorial from the Peoria Journal Star:

"This is a political problem, and we need to step up and do something dramatic," Rep. Ray LaHood, R-Ill., told The New York Times. LaHood suggested abolishing the page system, which absolutely sends the wrong message. No doubt LaHood didn't intend it, but that sounds more like punishment for the victims than for the alleged perpetrators. It sounds like our elected representatives can't handle the temptations that pages pose. This likely doesn't do Republicans any favors with the mid-term elections just five weeks away, but that ought to be secondary. Sometimes the best political strategy is to just do the right thing, regardless of the short-term consequences.

Short-term, long-term, whatever. I'm ready to cut and run. Get our young men and women out of that hellhole now!

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  1. How do you ask a boy to be the last boy to give his seat for a mistake?

  2. Back in 1972 when a bunch of guys were busted for breaking into the DNC headquarters at the Watergate, which was a mere sideshow in the larger schemes and corruptions of the Nixon Whitehouse, it was the catalyst for massive political and institutional changes.

    This two-bit buggery may have similar effects.

  3. If we abandon the house pages, they will be overrun and killed by the senate pages. We may have to rescue them with a helicopter

  4. I’m not saying that the Hastert office is teaming with homosexuals bent on advancing a pro-pedophile agenda–I’m saying that I don’t have any evidence either way.

  5. NAMPLA (North American Man-Page Love Association) has issued a statement condeming the cut-and-run Republicans.

  6. Teens + dirty old criminals together, that just can’t end well.

    The whole page idea is rather odd. I guess an attempt to capture some of the man/boy magic of the greek and roman republics we’ve modeled our government on?

  7. It may be necessary to destroy the pages in order to save them.

  8. Hastert may have to give an “Ich Bin Ein Pagenficker” speech.

  9. The page system serves as a breeding ground for future politicans and lobbyists. That’s all I need to know about it. Abolish it. Abolish it now.

  10. Why stop at Pages? Why not just abolish this whole failed experiment called “congress” while we’re at it?

  11. “politicans”

    stupid fucking worthless sticky Apple keyboard

  12. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,20538801-2703,00.html

    The best take on “Foleygate.” Go figure it takes an Aussie to see it for what it is.

  13. The page system serves as a breeding ground for future politicans and lobbyists. That’s all I need to know about it. Abolish it. Abolish it now.

    That’s kind of what I was thinking.

  14. “”Why stop at Pages? Why not just abolish this whole failed experiment called “congress” while we’re at it?”””

    Bush is one step ahead of you. Though he can’t actually abolish Congress, he does believe he found a work-around.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061005/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_privacy;_ylt=Aik0LF1TU4KaG7LeDJyDKduyFz4D;_ylu=X3oDMTA0cDJlYmhvBHNlYwM-

    The last two paragraphs sum up our President and why only those short on IQ support him anymore.

    “”Bush, for example, said he’d disregard a requirement that the director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency must have at least five years experience and “demonstrated ability in and knowledge of emergency management and homeland security.”

    His rationale was that it “rules out a large portion of those persons best qualified by experience and knowledge to fill the office.”””

    I’m flabbergasted.

  15. <cynic>No, no, no. We must expand the page system. It’s like public financing for elections. If we take away the taxpayer-funded resource, then lobbyists will supply pages and the representatives will be beholden to them.</cynic>

  16. His rationale was that it “rules out a large portion of those persons best qualified by experience and knowledge to fill the office.

    Heckuva job, there TrickyVic.

  17. The worst things about this whole situation are, 1) the Republicans may have covered it up in order to preserve their political power another two years, and 2) the Democrats, or someone in their camp, sat on the info, only releasing it when it would do the most damage, in order to take political power away from the Republicans. Forget any pretense of trying to reason with the voters, of running on your record, or the strength of your ideas. No, let’s treat the voters like the dumb, compliant cattle we think they are and give them a nice juicy sex scandal so that they choose the correct candidates. It’s all about the power, baby, forget governing, who needs it!

  18. Steve,

    I’m actually flattered that they still care enough about voters to go through the gyrations.

  19. the Republicans may have covered it up…the Democrats, or someone in their camp, sat on the info, only releasing it when it would do the most damage…

    Interesting that you would use the phrase “may have” for the Republicans, but don’t do the same for the Democrats.

    Doubly interesting since there’s so far zero proof for the accusation the Democrats sat on anything (the lone Democrat on the committee overseeing the pages was the only one NOT told about the situation) and lot’s of evidence that the story was released by a Republican staffer and former pages…who happen to still be Republicans.

    No Steve, the worst thing about this is that partisanship still trumps common sense, honesty, character…and reality.

  20. Abolishing the page program “sends a message that Congress can’t control itself and . . . can’t be trusted with children.”

    Yes. And?

    Umm, P Brooks,

    stupid fucking worthless sticky Apple keyboard

    I used to have that sticky keyboard problem ,but I found that if I type with one hand, and, umm, err, you know, with the other, my keyboard didn’t get nearly so sticky. Try it!

  21. “””No Steve, the worst thing about this is that partisanship still trumps common sense, honesty, character…and reality. “””

    And the Republicans have Tom Delay running around talking about how “great” partisanship is. I think that speaks volumes about the Republican party of today.

  22. R C Dean-

    I am not now, nor have I ever been, a user of Instant Messaging.

  23. I think that speaks volumes about the Republican party of today.

    Ya’ know…right now, the world – the whole fucking world -is crying out for some genuine leadership here in the United States.

    Sad how pathetic both parties have become.

  24. Thanks for interesting article !!!

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