We Only Tolerate Them Because of Their Cute, Furry Tails


Without them, hell, they're just rats. Squirrels on the attack in California's South Bay area.

An entire website dedicated to warning the world of this cute menace–which appears to be more and more on the rise the more you pay attention to it.

Patrick McDonnell's cartoon squirrels' malicious but comic nut-throwing is only the tip of a sinister iceberg–an iceberg with a furry tail and an appetite for our food.

NEXT: "I Don't Drink Water. Fish Poop In It."

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  1. I did! Thanks for catching it….

  2. Joke about the Reason server coming in five, four, three…

  3. So they have a South Bay up in Northern California too?

  4. Squirrels are pretty high-strung. If you’re used to capturing and taming chipmunks, squirrels will surprise you. Squirrels bite for everything.

    Unless you raise them from wee infants. Then they think you’re a tree.

    Rats make better pets, if you’re going the wee infant route.

  5. Squirrels are edible, you know.
    Taste like chicken.
    Or so I hear.

  6. First Pamplona, now Mountain View? Oh, the horror.

  7. Squirrels are edible, you know.
    Taste like chicken.
    Or so I hear.

    They’re OK. I find that they are most edible in a stew with dumplings. Mostly because they cease to taste like squirrel and end up tasting like…well…stew.

  8. I recall hearing that in Russia, there were some squirrels (or was it chipmunks?) attacked and killed a dof wandering a park.

    I wonder how much of these sorts of ‘attacks’ have to do with the loss of habitat from over development of homes and businessparks and attendant 4 lane streets in the southbay. Where are our Arcologies?

  9. A coincidence that the squirrels started rampaging in Mountain Viewa few days after Google unveiled city-wide wi-fi coverage? I don’t think so.

    Good thing there aren’t a lot of snakes around!

  10. or should I say/she once had me

  11. You want a malicious squirril?


    I can’t believe no one has listed Foamy yet.

  12. You want a malicious squirril?


    I can’t believe no one has listed Foamy yet.

  13. Eryk-

    That was my first thought, too.


    For snakes, don’t forget about Whacking Day.

  14. uh dudes, foamy is lame compared to this real american hero:


  15. Listen to what these hippie squirrel-appeasing cut-and-runners are saying:

    “The squirrels will be back,” South Bay wildlife rehabilitator Norma Campbell said. “For every one you take out, two more will come in. It could be a never-ending project that isn’t going to accomplish anything.”

    We’re fighting them in the parks so we don’t have to fight them in our homes!

  16. Squirrels are edible, you know.

    My mom used squirrel in pot pie (Pennsylvania Dutch) instead of the usual chicken. I thought it was pretty good.

  17. This is no surprise. My tiny backyard is loaded with impudent squirrels. There’s a red one that maintains a distance of three feet from me whenever I go out to the garage. He barks and barks at me from just outside of my striking distance. I worry he may become braver. There’s also a grey squirrel that I’m pretty sure is smoking the rock. He puts on the most frantic displays, but I think the crack keeps him paranoid enough to run away when I step outside.
    When I lived in a condo with a balcony, one wintry day I heard something outside. I opened the blinds to see what the ruckus was, and there was a squirrel on the railing. He turned to look at me when I opened the blinds. He climbed down the railing, across the balcony, and scaled the screen door to face me at eye level, just inches away. Luckily I had not opened the sliding glass door. I closed the blinds and retreated to the kitchen. A wave of sympathy swept over me. The little guy’s tail was mangy and it was a particularly cold day. We had some crushed walnuts stashed away, so I threw some out there for him. He ate them up. I now know better than to tempt fate in this manner again.

  18. Highnumber,

    Now that was funny!

  19. Squirrels will be our successors and will soon grasp the world in their tiny little hands. Their ecological tyranny will be fearsome, with all trees being replaced by oak trees.

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