Just About the Greatest Attack Ad of All Time

Run, don't walk, to watch the above ad. Details via Jeff Diehl at 10 Zen Monkeys:

"Brad Miller even spent your tax dollars to pay teenage girls to watch pornographic movies with probes connected to their genitalia."

That's from a TV campaign ad by Vernon Robinson, who's trying to unseat incumbent Democrat Miller for the U.S. House of Representatives in the 13th District of North Carolina. In the process, he's created some of the most amusing campaign messages in recent memory.

Here's another, from the same ad:

"Brad Miller spent your money to study the masturbation habits of old men."

More, oh so much more, here.

Reason subscribers will be receiving the November issue shortly (and the November ish won't be posted to the Web site for another month or so). Our cover story this month: "Attack Ads Are Good For You!: In Praise of Negative Campaigning" (scout around on the website here and you'll see a shot of the November cover in an ad for the electronic edition).

If you're not a subscriber, pick up a newsstand copy now, buy the electronic edition, or get a good old regular subscription, which is just $19.97 for 11 issues.

Comments

[si-si-coo-coo]

Out-of-touch body armor. Hmm.

[P Brooks]

Attack ads are good for me.

I remain, shall we say, unconvinced.

[M]

This came up with it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O7S689XUBk&mode=related&search=

[wingnutx]

Wow, that was good.

I've seen a few 'voted against armor' ads, like this one run against George Allen. The whole issue is horseshit. Nobody's vote had anything to do with production lags on SAPI plates.

[Jeff P. (Sniff)]

Why is it that nobody is interested in probing MY genitalia? WHY WHY WHY!
I'll jerk off for science, where do I sign up?

I was raised catholic, but priests never touched me. WHY? Wasn't I cute enough?

What's wrong with me?

[biologist]

"Brad Miller even spent your tax dollars to pay teenage girls to watch pornographic movies with probes connected to their genitalia."

I strongly approve of this use of government funding, especially if we can watch.

I sincerely doubt that Brad Miller voted for those specific appropriations, just that he supported the NIH, NSF, etc. what bullshit.

[Larry A]

Somehow I think Miller was funding those studies as preparation for proposing laws against GLBT, masterbation, porn, et al.

Somehow Robinson's ad leaves me the impression he'd enthusiastically support such laws.

Choices, choices. Politics leaves me wanting body armor.

[SR]

biologist beat me to the correct answer: That's arguably the single best use of Federal tax dollars ever devised. In fact, I want a check-off box on my 1040 form indicating that a portion of my tax payments will be applied to precisely that sort of research.

[Gerry Tripwell]

Sounds "Delogian" to me.

http://72.14.207.104/search?q=cache:kQ7cczcZ4uwJ:www.geocities.com/crankyankerfan/pup26.htm+%22Tony+Deloge%22&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1&ie=UTF-8

[Gene Berkman]

So Vernon Robinson objects to electrodes on the genitals, hunh? Maybe he will vote to close Gitmo then.

[aspendougy]

"Brad Miller even spent your tax dollars to pay teenage girls to watch pornographic movies with probes connected to their genitalia."

Not the best use of our tax dollars but beats $5 billion a month on Iraq, destroying the infrastructure, killing 10 civilians for each insurgent, all to get rid of a local neighborhood bully........

[Lamar]

I didn't realize that the Flaccid Porn story and the Attack Ad story were related!

[Ruthless]

We still haven't answered the question of who attached those probes to the genitalia of teenage girls.
It wasn't thoreau was it?
If I were a teenage girl, he'd be the only government worker I'd trust with such a delicate assignment.

[M]

Oh, porn. This being H&R, I thought it was about corn research.

[jkII]

I was raised catholic,

With the lower case 'c' and the topic in mind, I first read that as cathodic.

[Jeff P.]

jkII: I subscribe to the school of thought that "catholic," "christian" "jew," and "muslim" are adjectives, like "unreasonable" and "whiny."
I capitalize Lutheran because, y'know, it was a guy's name.
It is ethical to break an unjust law of grammer.

I did kneel before the Great Cathode Ray Tube a lot as a child...

[Ruthless]

jkII,
In your high school science class, did you have access to a catholic ray tube and a strong magnet?
I did.
And this was so long ago, we thought it was the work of the devil.
Now, after all these years, we have finally confirmed it WAS the work of the devil... his slippery slope, don't ya know.

[Umbriel]

Typical statist priorities. As a libertarian I favor privatization of teenage girl genital research.

[Jack]

Umbriel wrote: "As a libertarian I favor privatization of teenage girl genital research."

Unfortunately, the State has arrogated a monopoly for itself on this research by prohibiting most private competition. It's sort of like the Postal Service.

[M]

Jeff, Jew is a guy's name and Christian is a Guy's name. Just sayin'.

[plunge]

Now that takes the cake in fucking crazy desperation.

[jkII]

I did kneel before the Great Cathode Ray Tube a lot as a child.

Thank you for sharing that anodedote.

[SuperMike]

This calls for bipartisan compromise; surely our great nation can afford both body armor and teenage girl probing.

[Jeff P]

M: If someone starts a church that worships, say, Christian Slater, and calls itself Christianism or something, I'll capitalize it.

I've never heard Jew used as a first name. That would be tough as a kid. Best strategy would be to preemptively adopt Yid or Heeb as a handle early.
Also, that would open the possibility of someone on this planet having the name Jew Bater, which, after the cruelty the the parents wore off, would be be really funny.

[jkII]

Also, that would open the possibility of someone on this planet having the name Jew Bater, which, after the cruelty the the parents wore off, would be be really funny.

Yeah OK, then the cruel parents send Jew to a Prep school where he would be called Master Bater.

[M]

Jeff P (does Jeff P?), you made me laugh. As did the horse who rode in on you. Me, I was just citing Eddy Mahlodgy; take it up with him.

[M]

Jeff P (does Jeff P?), you made me laugh. As did the horse who rode in on you. Me, I was just citing Eddy Mohlodgy.

[Steven Crane]

nfortunately, the State has arrogated a monopoly for itself on this research by prohibiting most private competition. It's sort of like the Postal Service.

Yeah, I hate that band too.

[joe]

Heh heh. Heh heh.

"Private Sector Research."

Heh heh. Heh heh. Heh.

[Mr. Nice Guy]

I'm willing to bet that "teenage" means 18-19. I can't see the NIH showing porno to minors.

Those science dudes at NIH got it made. I'm jealous.

[Mark VIII]

It's delivered in a great tone too. Not angry, just a sort of concerned resignation that there's a sexpest spending tax money.

[Mr. Nice Guy]

I don't get this whole "bi-sexual Eskimo" thing. What are there, like, six of them total?

And this is just me, but if I'm out there hunting walruss, I sure as hell don't want the guy next to me staring at my harpoon. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

[Todd]

Too many puns, allusions, and double entendres ... overloaded with witty political/sexual observations ... junior high sense of humor coming to surface ... can't ... take ... any ... more!!!! Help!!!!

[mk]

I was raised catholic, but priests never touched me. WHY? Wasn't I cute enough?
What's wrong with me?

It was probably your insistence that boy-groping be somehow "market based" that turned them off.

[Mad Max]

For an analysis of the Robinson ad, see

http://www.factcheck.org/article442.html

The analysis is very hostile to Robinson. Indeed, the body armor thing is BS.

As for the sex studies, the Republicans tried to pass an amendment in 2003 banning funding for those specific studies, so that the NIH could focus on more worthy research. Of the studies, only the Asian masseuse study passes the laugh test, because it *could* be justified as an AIDS-prevention measure to protect the broader community against the diseases carried by these prostitutes.

As for the rest of the studies, read two of the grant proposals (linked to in the factcheck.org article) and they clearly seem to deserve Robinson's ridicule:

From the genital-probe proposal:

? Abstract: DESCRIPTION (adapted from investigator's abstract): One of the strongest correlates of male sexual orientation is sexual arousal to male versus female stimuli. Subjectively and genitally, gay men respond much more strongly to sexual stimuli depicting men than women, and heterosexual men show an opposite pattern. The investigators refer to the tight linkage between sexual orientation and sexual arousal patterns as ?target specificity.? There has been inadequate attention to the question of whether female sexual orientation is target specific. . . . The investigators argue that results will inform psychological theories of female sexual orientation regardless of specific outcome. . . .?

So they want taxpayer money to find out if straight women are turned on by images of men, lesbian women by images of women, etc. A cure for cancer this is not.

For the elderly sexuality proposal:

?Sexuality has an enormous impact on the quality of life of aging men. Numerous studies have shown that the decline in sexual function and frequency of intercourse is strongly related to age, but that many men remain sexually active into their 80s and 90s. Studies also suggest that declines in intercourse and function (and other "objective' aspect of sexual behavior) are often not accompanied by declines in levels of interest or satisfaction (or other 'subjective' aspects). . . . The proposed study will make use of the rich dataset of the longitudinal population-based Massachusetts Ma[l]e Aging Study to examine trends over a 9-yr period in a range of sexual behavior (e.g., frequency of intercourse, orgasm, erections, and masturbation, as well as sexual fantasies, desire, interest, enjoyment, and expectations). . . .?

Correct me if I?m missing something, but this study appears designed to explore the intriguing possibility that aging men don?t get it on as often, but remain horny. Yeah, we can?t trust the private sector to handle this crucial research. National Security is at stake!

[*mwha!*]

The investigators refer to the tight linkage

Without blushing?