Farewell to the Future


All Segways recalled over a design glitch that can cause riders to fall.

My "is that all there is?" response to the unveiling of the technology that was going to change the world irrevocably (23,500 sold so far!) but whose most significant effect on our culture so far has been as a bit of comic character definition for Gob on Arrested Development.

NEXT: Discordians from Outer Space

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  1. Generation Dork may never be the same. Yes, it would change the world by providing transport to people who had nothing to carry and always went places in perfect weather.

  2. So, Dean Kamen’s comic-book-artist dad, Jack, is still the most talented member of the family. No surprise there.

  3. mediageek,

    Maddox is a genius. His third wheel will solve Segway’s problems lickety-split. He should’ve written a book about that.

    Query: How many of the 23,500 Segways sold were purchased by governmental entities? I bet they’ve bought the lion’s share. If so, it’s a typical move by government with new technologies–dive in with the millions or billions before determining the worth or longevity of what you’re buying. Why not? It’s not your money.

  4. I personally adopted a policy of pointing and laughing at the top of my lungs whenever seeing anyone riding them around. There was a 1-2yr period in manhattan where a few smartasses on the upper east/west got them… but they vanished a while ago, havent seen one in ages.

  5. Mediageek,

    What a great site. Why is it that our ivy league educated media who hyped this thing as a “revolution” didn’t think to ask the guys, “ever thought about just putting a third wheel on it”?

  6. Does this mean that we’ll have to “re-redesign” cities?

  7. mediageek, I remember seeing that years ago. Thanks for reminding me of that site (you have a much better recollection ability than I do). That Glenn Beck 100 dollar bill trick in his 9/11 debunking post is priceless.

  8. Here in Minneapolis, some of the cops in downtown are on those things. Pretty funny.

  9. Oh, and all your Segway are belong to us, too.

  10. Libertarians just want to be contrarian.
    Have you ever been on one of those things?
    They’re pretty damn neat. So what if you look kinda funny?
    If anyone wants to be cool,they can donate theirs to me. I promise I’ll use it for strictly libertarian purposes. Y’know, drug runs, pick’n up hookers, campaigning.

  11. Caleb,

    How do you fit a hooker on one of those things?

  12. Well, if Segway takes all of the recalled scooters and adds third wheels and high-powered laser attachments to them, I think we’d see a true Segway renaissance.

  13. “Caleb,

    How do you fit a hooker on one of those things?”

    They come with a trailer-hitch right?

  14. if you dont like the i segway, get out of the hallway

  15. There was an earlier recall for a glitch that would just kill the power suddenly, dumping the user on her face.

    I still see the picture of this happening to Bush posted at least weekly on fark or DemocraticUnderground as proof of his idiocy.

  16. So, Dean Kamen’s comic-book-artist dad, Jack, is still the most talented member of the family. No surprise there.

    I dunno, a few years back I found myself really happy with an infusion pump that Kamen invented for delivering chemotherapy doses over time. Unlike the Segway, it was a simple, robust, and elegant design.

    Also, the Segway’s big brother is a wheelchair that can safely walk up stairways. I’ve never heard bad things about it.

  17. Crikey! Wasn’t Steve Irwin killed by a Segway?

  18. Segway people stand tall and are easy to see.
    That’s the reason cops wear hats and ride them.
    They’re green, quiet, and better than hybrids.
    To hear of a recall of the product, all 23K,
    and rejoice says a lot about THE ONES laughing.

    I’d like to see them placed in malls for free rides. I’m talking about those down everything people,
    but having free use of Segway’s would be nice, too, if that’s what you thought I was talking about.

    I just dread the day the leather coated, big booted bikers
    ride them in mass down the sidewalk.
    They’ll probably put playing cards in the spokes
    so they will make a lot of noise.
    Now I’m a put-downer, too.

    As for those go-up-the-steps wheelchairs,
    it is a lot scarier to ride one down the stairs.

    Segways wouldn’t be possible if not for handicap accommodations being everywhere. — dj

  19. I predict the Segway will be remembered as a “Hands Across America” a decade or two from now.

  20. Don’t forget, the Woz rides one too.

  21. Someone needs to publish a collection of DJ’s poetry. It’s beautiful, man.

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