Stop Politicizing My Heartfelt Desire to Oppress Women

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Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn is one among many cultural conservatives who oppose putting Plan B over the counter, though an FDA advisory panel recommended that it go OTC three years ago. Back in 2004, 49 likeminded Congressmen sent a letter to President Bush, complaining that "only the drug's safety and its effect on pregnancy" were considered in the FDA review process. Last week, in an effort to expedite the confirmation of a new commissioner, the FDA promised some movement on OTC access. Coburn's response? Stop politicizing the issue. No, really:

The Bush administration's policy on the morning after pill should be based on protecting the health of women, not their nominees. Delaying the appointment of a new FDA commissioner will have virtually no effect on the lives of ordinary Americans. However, bowing to short-term political concerns in this debate could endanger the health and safety of thousands of Americans.

The statement also informs us that Coburn is practically a woman, having "delivered over 4,000 babies."

Reason's Plan B coverage here, here, and here.

Thematically related Onion article: Critics Accuse Joe Biden Of Running For President For Political Reasons.

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  1. I’m perfectly willing to accept Coburn’s assertion that the FDA’s decision to consider only the safety and efficacy of a drug, and not the impact of its availability on society, is a political, even ideological act.

    It is based on an ideology that endorses a role for government in protecting consumers/patients from harmful products and fraudulent claims, but not from broad social changes that religious conservatives deem undesireable.

    Where Coburn goes wrong is in asserting that the inclusion of the latter role is, itself, an ideological act.

  2. Can anyone remind me why it’d be inappropriate to simply refer to members of our national legislators in the abstract as “goatfuckers?”

  3. Because it reflects poorly on goats.

  4. “Fuckers” implies that the goats have rendered consent, as APL pointed out this would reflect poorly on goats.

    I propose “goterapists” would probably be acceptable.

  5. I am amazed that the FDA hasn’t tried making Clearasil and other acne medications prescription-only. Has anybody considered the message these freely available drugs send to teenagers? “You can have a zit-free complexion even if you’re irresponsible enough to go without washing your face.”

    Seriously–“only the drug’s safety and its effect on pregnancy” were considered in the FDA review process? What the hell else was supposed to be considered?

  6. “Goatrapists”, rather.

    Dang. Somebody isn’t going to win the Scripps-Howard spelling bee this year.

  7. “Seriously–“only the drug’s safety and its effect on pregnancy” were considered in the FDA review process? What the hell else was supposed to be considered?”

    Its effect on the opinions of “red state” (godDAMN I hate that term, I feel dirty even typing it, so I’ll switch to “conservative, right wing, and christ-fundy”) voters.

    Just like with stem cell research. Not only do we have to consider the scientific evidence, the medical implications, and the ethical concerns, but we also have to consider the votes of the christian right. Especially that last one.

    And as for Plan B, we ALSO have to consider how it might play into the whole “government as social engineer” bulletpoint on the conservative platform.

  8. referring to members of congress as goatfuckers is not only unfair to goats, its unfair to actual goatfuckers, who are decent people just going about their business, trying to raise families of goat/ human hybrids. they don’t deserve to be lumped in with the subhuman dishonest pieces of fecal matter that compose the US Congress

  9. Plan B causes breast cancer

  10. “its unfair to actual goatfuckers, who are decent people just going about their business, trying to raise families of goat/ human hybrids.”

    Baaaa.

  11. The statement also informs us that Coburn is practically a woman, having “delivered over 4,000 babies.”

    And provided food, shelter, and rearing for absolutely none of those babies.

    Unless, of course, some of those babies were his own illegitimate half-goat spawn.

  12. Its effect on the opinions of “red state”…

    Now now Evan, GILMORE said that we are always wrong when we talk about religion and that the Christian Right doesn’t have any sort of political power what so ever.

    It must be some other reason…

  13. referring to members of congress as goatfuckers is not only unfair to goats, its unfair to actual goatfuckers, who are decent people just going about their business, trying to raise families of goat/ human hybrids.

    Really? I always thought that they were just getting their jollies by use of livestock instead of a “fleshlight.” <Shrug> Okay, more power to the hybridizers. Who knew?

  14. I just remembered–Tom Coburn is the same ass who supported the Seante’s recent bill making it a crime to help a girl cross state lines to get an abortion. His rationale for support of the bill?

    Abstinence is the best way to prevent teenage pregnancy, responded Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla. “How many people really think it’s in the best interest of young people to be sexually active outside of marriage? Does anything positive ever come from that?” Coburn asked.

    He’ll do his damn best to make sure nothing positive comes of it. No, no, much better to let lust-nutty young people confuse desire for love and rush into an early marriage when they have nothing in common except a mutual sex drive that won’t sustain a relationship for long. (I’m sure it’s a coincidence that divorce rates are higher in Bible belt states where people are more likely to believe sex should only take place within the confines of the holy government-ordained marriage bed. Apparently, a marriage based solely on the desire to scratch an itch doesn’t last too long.)

    Yes, his concern is with keeping people healthy, not repressing those evil sex drives and making certain people who give in to them suffer as much as possible. Especially the girls. Damned sluts.

  15. No, no, much better to let lust-nutty young people confuse desire for love and rush into an early marriage when they have nothing in common except a mutual sex drive that won’t sustain a relationship for long. (I’m sure it’s a coincidence that divorce rates are higher in Bible belt states where people are more likely to believe sex should only take place within the confines of the holy government-ordained marriage bed. Apparently, a marriage based solely on the desire to scratch an itch doesn’t last too long.)

    Jennifer,

    Along with what you were saying, I’m sure it’s a coincidence also that statistically divorce is a much greater financial harm to a woman than it is to a man (for a variety of reasons other than some women who depend on the man’s income).

  16. It’s wrong to take a minor across state lines for any medical procedure without parental consent.

    If it is true that Plan B won’t harm a baby that has already implanted, http://www.planb.ca/en/faq.html then I have no objection to plan b being offered over the counter. Presumably the expense would discourage using it instead of a condom.

  17. Jennifer,

    Excellent job showing, for the umpteenth time, that there are some pro-life people with strange beliefs.

    Do you likewise support repealing laws against transporting minors across state lines so as to avoid statutory rape laws?

  18. In spite of what biologist said above, I’m convinced that Coburn has hit upon the perfect way to prevent out-of-wedlock childbirth… or “kids.”

    Goatfucker.

  19. Attention goat rapers. Proceed to the Group W Bench and be seated with the the mother rapers, the father stabbers an the father rapers.

  20. Excellent job showing, for the umpteenth time, that there are some pro-life people with strange beliefs.

    Which is fine, until they get themselves into the Senate and turn their strange beliefs into laws which apply even to those who don’t share those beliefs.

    It’s wrong to take a minor across state lines for any medical procedure without parental consent.

    I eagerly await the first case of a 16-year-old boy arrested for driving his 15-year-old girlfriend to an abortion clinic. The good news is, there’s no longer any need for girls in trouble to confide in their boyfriends, is there? Lucky, lucky boys. Thank God we have folks like Tom Coburn making it illegal for girls in trouble to ask friends for help.

    Besides, we all know a girl shouldn’t be having sex outside of the marriage bed anyway, right? Nothing good ever comes from that–ask Senator Coburn if you don’t believe me.

  21. “You can have a zit-free complexion even if you’re irresponsible enough to go without washing your face.”

    For that matter, why the hell is chocolate legal?

  22. Do you likewise support repealing laws against transporting minors across state lines so as to avoid statutory rape laws?

    First of all, are there any states to which a minor could be transported that allow adults to have sex with minors, consensual or no? Is that the smell of your straw man burning?

    I think exactly the opposite case can be made: that if a teen girl does not want to carry a pregnancy to term, it is child abuse to NOT convey her to a place where she can get an abortion.

    The law does not allow parents to lock their children in cages for even a few hours as punishment, let alone 9 months. This is unquestionably abusive, in the eyes of the law and most people. The law would most certainly condemn a parent who punished a child by injecting the child with something that would cause all the discomforts and physical alterations of pregnancy.

    So why must a minor tolerate a physical punishment that burdens her with an unwanted parasite for nine months — one that causes phenomonal bodily changes, taxes her kidneys and other organs, usually involves weight gain, personal embarrassment, possible discomfort (and extreme pain, and possibly even scarring and mutilation, during its expulsion), and other possible complications such as gestational diabetes or eclampsia? What exactly is she being punished for, and does the punishment fit the crime?

    Forcing a teen girl — who by definition cannot be held responsible for the decisions she makes — to go through such an intense physical ordeal is torture. Arguably, anyone who does NOT transport a teen girl with an unwanted pregnancy to a place where she can be relieved of what is essentially a draconian punishment for sex, is abetting child abuse.

    If you’re going to count whatever’s in her uterus as a “person,” it’s just as illegal for a parent to allow this third “person” to abuse his kid as it is for him to cause the abuse himself.

  23. First of all, are there any states to which a minor could be transported that allow adults to have sex with minors, consensual or no? Is that the smell of your straw man burning?

    Comment by: zeroentitlement at August 2, 2006 06:13 PM

    the answer to the first question is yes, therefore the answer to the second question is no.

  24. Jennifer,

    “I am amazed that the FDA hasn’t tried making Clearasil and other acne medications prescription-only.”

    The FDA isn’t behind this. Political activists who have pressured the FDA have succeeding in warping how it does its businesses. IIRC, the panel of physicians and researchers who reviewed the studies unanimously recommended its approval, only to be overruled by the political appointee in charge. You know, like Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz saying Shinseki was crazy, man, to say there weren’t enough troops to maintain order.

    Left to its own devices, the FDA would have tested the drug for safety and efficacy and made its ruling based on that.

  25. The entire conservative argument against making Plan B available OTC seems to be that it will cause teenagers to have more sex, resulting in a large increase of angry Christians.

    Is any information available that proves the existence of thousands of teenage virgins waiting patiently for the day that Plan B ushers in a new era of sexual freedom. In the social conservatives warped minds, virgin teenagers that have not been tempted to use a condom, take a birth control pill or just have unprotected sex will suddenly lose all control and have wild gangbang orgies everywhere Plan B is sold.

  26. Do you likewise support repealing laws against transporting minors across state lines so as to avoid statutory rape laws?

    Since I’ve already said before that I oppose most statutory rape laws, what do you think? The very word “rape” should be reserved for the act of forcing sex on someone who does not want it. But I’d say forcing a minor to bear a child against her will is a far graver offense than having sex with a minor who wants it.

    Whoops, I forgot–nothing good ever comes of sex outside of marriage. Also, a little-known fact about women’s biology: when we wake up on the morning of our 18th birthdays (16 in some states), we discover a sex drive has formed overnight.

    Before this, however, no girl ever has naughty thoughts, and even if she did she wouldn’t want to act on them, and anyone who says otherwise is a goddamned pedophile. Anytime a pre-18 female has sex it is a horrible experience which scars her for life. Still, though, if the slut gets knocked up she should have the baby to teach her a damned good lesson. And if she confides in her friends and they help her by driving her to a clinic or lending her money for a bus ticket, they deserve to go to prison.

    Remember: laws which encourage distrust and alienation among the young will make America strong.

  27. Whoops, I forgot–nothing good ever comes of sex outside of marriage.

    Except for wicked-hot orgasms that make people like Tom Coburn frown.

    Also, a little-known fact about women’s biology: when we wake up on the morning of our 18th birthdays (16 in some states), we discover a sex drive has formed overnight.

    17 in Tejas, fortunately. Because, FSM knows, if I’m ever single again the first place I’ll be looking is Senior Gym at one of the local all-girls Catholic schools.

  28. virgin teenagers . . . will suddenly lose all control and have wild gangbang orgies everywhere Plan B is sold.

    God willing!

  29. Jennifer, among all the talk of nubile teenagers don’t forget that Plan B restrictions affect all fertile women. For instance a 35-year-old (married or not) who suffers a condom/diaphragm failure or misplaces her IUD.

    Also, a little-known fact about women’s biology: when we wake up on the morning of our 18th birthdays (16 in some states), we discover a sex drive has formed overnight.

    Actually what the Coburns are saying is that we should ruthlessly repress the sex urge (including masturbation) from puberty at age 12 to marriage at age 22 or 25, to the extent that we should never see a human female breast or any representation thereof after we are weaned; then on our marriage night consummate fulfilling marital relations. But only in the missionary position.

    Stephen King would have a field day with that plot idea.

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