Chicago Is a Sissy Town!


Almost 20 years ago, I remember visiting the Sears Tower in Chicago and having to sit through a promotional film about how goddamned great the then-Second City (and now third, after NYC and LA) was and how much better the Sears Tower was than the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building, and the World Trade Center combined.

In a curious bit of '80s waning homophobia–the sort on display, say, in virtually every episode of Barney Miller and Three's Company–the John Facenda[*]-like narrator proclaimed, a propos of absolutely nothing, "Chicago ain't no sissy town!" He was, if memory serves, quoting some alderman or whatever the fuck they've got there.

Well, it turns out that Chicago is a sissy town, though in a way that has naught to do with sexuality:

If you're a cell phone-using, goose liver-eating, cigarette-smoking, fast food-loving person, Chicago might not be your kind of town.

In this city that once winked at Prohibition, members of the City Council are trying to crack down on things they deem unhealthy, immoral or just plain annoying.

A proposal that would restrict fast-food chains from cooking with artery-clogging trans fat oils got a public airing last week, and in the past year alone aldermen have banned smoking in nearly all public places and the use of cell phones while driving.

In April, Chicago became the first U.S. city to outlaw the sale of foie gras, a goose liver delicacy that is decried by animal-rights activists because it is created by force-feeding birds to fatten up their livers.

Whole thing here.

"Stormy, husky, brawling,/City of the Big Shoulders"–not so much anymore.

[*]: corrected

Update: Reader Chris Scoggins writes in with news that Windy City pols now want to micro-chip Fido.

More Update: Reader Dave Wegener points to a Sun-Times' story about Chicago pols pushing for hiked wages and benefits to be paid by big-box retailers.