Lyndon LaRouche

You Can Run, but You Can't Hide…from LaRouche!

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It was probably inevitable—the ugly foster children of the Democratic Party, the LaRouche cult, made their happy way into the conference and purloined the authors' table for a quick crazy session. Most attendees were wise enough to sidestep them, but since they left their "CHILDREN OF SATAN" flyers at home and brought the normal-looking copies of "Executive Intelligence Review," a few loiterers got sucked into their web.

"My god, these guys are everywhere," I said to a bookstand browser who I'd been talking with. "I wonder if conservatives have an equivalent who just shows up at their events are makes everyone feel uncomfortable."

"Libertarians?" he joked. In the future I'll leave all the soft pitches to Larry J. Schweiger.

Below is a picture of the LaRouchies, one of them seemingly ready to kick my ass. (He didn't.)

NEXT: A Fallible Fed

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  1. Suggestion: Have someone use PhotoShop or any other image editor to crank up the “brightness” and “contrast” on that photo.

  2. I’ve occasionally wondered what it is those people stand for, besides scaring the crap out of me.

  3. They stand for taking down Cheney. They really hate that guy.

  4. Stevo,

    Amazing commenter name.

    rhywun,

    Which “those people” are you referring to?

  5. LaRouche showed up for a speech at my Grandmother’s nursing home prior to the ’76 election. Part of his plank that year was that Jimmy Carter wanted to keep old people away from the voting booths. I have no idea why…

    I used to have a “Larouche for President, 1976” button he’d left with her. Wish I still had it.

  6. Is LaRouche some sort of immortal? He’s been running for president since my dad was in college.

  7. I’m not sure if you can use links here… these are some pretty controlling “free minds and free markets” guys and gals…..

    bu tif you want to see the surly dudes surliness you can see the photo sort of saved out of its sucky giffiness here (cut and paste) :

    http://www.spunangel.com/scraphix/larouchies.jpg

    and if someone would like to use this version to replace the crappy one on the main page, please feel free…

    It would be better if the original pic were around to alter, but whatchoo gonna do?

  8. During the Democratic primary debate in New Hampshire, a number of candidates bought airtime during the commercial break on the local station I watched it on. Lieberman, Gephardt…and LaRouche.

    The LaRouche ad was one of the most extraordinary things I’ve ever seen. Lyndon was in it, but only as a still photo – like the Star Trek episode. There was a shot of the mushroom cloud. And the tagline at the end was, I swear to God…

    “Vote for LaRouche…or DIE!”

  9. As I recall LaRouche bought airtime during the evening before the election statements that they used to air on the major networks. It was 1984. I don’t recall any of the statements content, but I do remember that he was most entertaining of the three (Reagan, Mondale and LaRouche).

  10. Maglev trains!

  11. Larouche is an anti-Semite whose conspiracy theories about Israel somehow forcing or tricking the U.S. into attacking Iraq makes Jason Raimondo look almost, but not quite, rational.

    http://www.911dossier.co.uk/is01.html

  12. Below is a picture of the LaRouchies, one of them seemingly ready to kick my ass.

    C’mon David, they’re LaRouchies. If they get real threatening, all have to do is say “Did you hear? Walmart and the Red Chinese are importing opium and serving it in the federal lunch program!” and they’ll be off looking for their tin hats.

  13. Which “those people” are you referring to?

    LaRouchies I presume. Did you think he was referring to all the Campaign for America’s Future “Take Back America” conference attendees or perhaps just liberals in general? All seem to fit to one degree or another so I guess it doesn’t matter too much in any case. 🙂

  14. I’m not sure if you can use links here… these are some pretty controlling “free minds and free markets” guys and gals…..

    Huh? You must not come here often. Control of your own property has never been disparaged around here so your comment wouldn’t be apt even if it were correct, which it isn’t. Anyway, if you’re too lazy to use a simple html tag, I’m too lazy to cut-and-paste.

  15. Poor Brian – one of those people who has to sound out every letter as they read and thus can’t see a joke.

    If minded I wouldn’t post.

    Anyway.. I used the “img src” tag and it didn’t work in preview..
    Then I noticed the warning that only “style” tags work.

    So I posted a URL

    But I am sorry about your laziness…

  16. rwellor,

    My apologies. I thought jokes were supposed to be funny so I guess I missed it. 🙂

  17. LOL

    Then you don’t know me either. A function of my not being here much I suppose.

    “supposed to be funny?” How dare you impose your critical values on me? Fascist insect.

    Let’s see if a link does work (which I admit I was too lazy to try after the good solution didn’t work):

    fixed pic here

    and voila, it does.. so apologies all around.

  18. Fascist insect.

    Heh – yep pretty much! I’ve been in an ill-tempered mood ever since I didn’t get enough coffee this morning, so the misunderstanding was my fault. Anyway, my html laziness whine was really more of an attempt at a joke so I guess I’m also a bit of a hypocrite today. 🙂

  19. I can’t take all this niceness. Doesn’t anybody like Larouche? Let’s rumble!

  20. 404 on Larry’s link

  21. I hate LaDouche, and here’s why.

    “I’m a libertarian.”
    “Libertarian, eh? Oh, with Lyndon LaRouche, yea?”
    “eh, no… He’s a democrat.”
    “The hell you say!”

  22. Although I am totaly on board with his call to lower middle ‘C’ back to 256 Hz…

  23. I don’t think I could stomach another president named Lyndon.

  24. Everyone here on H&R should forget they ever heard the word, libertarian.
    Until Anaximander is reincarnated, the word, anarchy, is safe and secure, and associated with no nutcase other than yours truly.

  25. Sorry Ruthless,

    Johnny Lydon ruined the term for you years ago.

    Ruthless have you read LeGuin’s “The Dispossessed”

    “The magnificent epic of an ambiguous utopia!” …LeGuin has said she was attempting to work out how an anarchist society would function in reality. She was particularly inspired by the work of American pacifist/anarchist/reformer Paul Goodman.”

  26. The most amazing part about LaRouche? He’s been given almost $3 million in FEDERAL funds to spread his kookery. WE’VE been paying for him.

    Ah, the wonder of campaign matching grants …

    http://www.opensecrets.org/presidential/summary.asp?ID=N00002047&Cycle=All

  27. This is great. It’s a quote on the wikipedia page about LaRouche himself…

    LaRouche possessed a marvelous ability to place any world happening in a larger context, which seemed to give the event additional meaning, but his thinking was schematic, lacking factual detail and depth. It was contradictory. His explanations were a bit too pat, and his mind worked so quickly that I always suspected his bravado covered over superficiality. He had an answer for everything. Sessions with him reminded me of a parlor game: present a problem, no matter how petty, and without so much as blinking his eye, LaRouche would dream up the solution.

    I’m trying to think how this makes him different than every other politician – of any party.

  28. True story: I had a philosophy professor who was a LaRouchie and ran for Congress a few times.

    Was Helga Zepp-LaRouche there?

  29. “American pacifist/anarchist/reformer Paul Goodman”

    See! Anarchist is assocated with a Good man!

    MainstreamMan,
    I think you missed my point.
    Libertarians have been slandered just by the alliteration of the name of the notorious Lyndon LaRouche.

    Anarchists could only be so slandered by someone such as Anaximander. See?

    By my analysis, the name, Johnny Lyden/Rotton–your suggestion–has harmed libertarians, not anarchists.

    Finally, no I have not read LeGuin, but thanks for the tip. Actually, I don’t welcome others, such as LeGuin, tainting my own inner construct of what anarchy means.

  30. “… present a problem, no matter how petty, and without so much as blinking his eye, LaRouche would dream up the solution.”

    Ask me no hard questions, I’ll tell you no complicated lies …

    On the other hand, I had always wondered what happened to Shirley on What’s Happening? Boy, she’s lost a LOT of weight!

    Wow, a Larouche supporter and a Fruit of Islam rolled into one. Sleep easy …

  31. Was Helga Zepp-LaRouche there?

    Wasn’t Helga Zepp-LaRouche that Supergroup formed by Jimmy Page and ABBA that performed at Live Aid 12?

  32. Actually, I don’t welcome others, such as LeGuin, tainting my own inner construct of what anarchy means.

    I don’t think I’ve ever read a truer, more sincere expression of anarchy than that.

    Go Figure! I agreed with Ruthless on something. Gotta find my calendar so I can right that one down…

  33. How does he manage to get his wife to live in another country? That’s an idea that could come in handy occasionally.

  34. Which “those people” are you referring to?

    Larouche’s people. And after reading much of that wiki article – I still don’t know what they stand for.

    LeGuin’s “The Dispossessed”

    Oh… one of my absolute favorites. Enjoy.

  35. This reminds me – the LaRouchies owe me five dollars. Those bastards came to my college and did a bait-and-switch on me. I gave them money for their Anti-Cheney book, and then they gave me the Anti-Cheney pamphlet, which was free I might add, because “we only have one Cheney book.” I wanted to argue, but they were, you know, spooky.

  36. Am I the only one amused at the idea that maybe, in some far distant future, our ancestors will look back and say: “Wow, why didn’t anyone believe LaRouche? He was the only one who understood….if only, if only….”

  37. “Is LaRouche some sort of immortal? He’s been running for president since my dad was in college.”

    I am Lyndon LaRouche of the clan LaRouche. I’ve been embarrassing the left coaliton for 200 years, and I canna die.

  38. From wikipedia, about the Phillipines LaRouche org (emphasis added):
    It has an office in Manila, operates radio show and says on its website, “Lyndon LaRouche is our civilization’s last chance at world peace and development. May God help us.”

    Indeed.

  39. Trey, I agree with your frustration when people call LaRouche a libertarian, however this – …I am tota[l]ly on board with his call to lower middle ‘C’ back to 256 Hz… cannot go unchallenged. I will be very unhappy if my 440Mhz tuning forks become worthless…

  40. This reminds me – the LaRouchies owe me five dollars.

    I was amused by the long, long list of fundraisers on the wiki site – all convicted.

    “Wow, why didn’t anyone believe LaRouche? He was the only one who understood….if only, if only….”

    Yeah, that crossed my mind too. *shiver*

  41. I coulda sworn LaRouche was a racist, so the folks in the picture surprise me.

  42. SteveDunn-One of my favorite games is to try to talk the LaRouche kids on my campus out of the “big ticket” items like the books without giving up any money or personal details. So far I’ve gotten 9 “Children of Satan” books and 4 of “A Vision for the Next Fifty Years,” as well as dozens of stacks of pamphlets. A friend who is majoring in art used them to make a full-sized paper mache statue of LaRouche for a class project. She got an A for it too.

    Oh, and I highly recommend “The Children of Satan,” if you can get it for free. One of the chapter headings is, I kid you not, “The Sexual Congress of Cultural Fascism.” I wish all cults were that amusing.

  43. Hey kid, you’re doing a bang-up job since you joined Reason! And I think this is the most entertaining post so far. Cheers. 🙂

  44. I will be very unhappy if my 440Mhz tuning forks become worthless…

    Behold my 440 MHz tuning forks, a million times more powerful than your puny 440 Hz tuning forks, with which I shall destroy the universe! Ha ha ha ha ha! 😉

  45. The Sexual Congress of Cultural Fascism.

    Have you heard his stories about how the Queen of England had sex with a horse?

  46. Have you heard his stories about how the Queen of England had sex with a horse?

    That’s actually a from a rumour about Catherine the Great…goes back about a hundred years.

  47. Well, then it’s a rumor LaRoach hasn’t missed out on. Or stopped repeating.

    If it weren’t for LaRoach, I for one might never have known this dark secret.

    All hail LaRoach!

  48. Note to self: Do not read any thread related to Lyndon LaRouche. Do you know how hard it is to read 50 comments on LL without cracking up.

    joe,
    I saw that commercial before. It was excellent. I wonder if it’s up on youtube.

  49. Haven’t even heard about these wingnuts for about 18 years, back when I was working with a guy whose father was a LaRouche operative.

    Are they still occupying Lovettesville, Virginia? I used to go through there once in a while, one of those beautiful little towns you see in the more rural parts of Virginia and Maryland. Always weirded me out knowing there was a large population of insaniacs living there, at least when LaRouche had his headquarters there.

  50. “Although I am totaly on board with his call to lower middle ‘C’ back to 256 Hz”

    Is there no subject LaRouche’s madness does not touch?

  51. I miss seeing the LaRouchites outside of the DMV. Arguing with them was the only good thing about going there.

    LaRouche is great about making predictions. THe vast majority of them are completely wrong, but every time you talk to one of his acolytes, they only want to talk about what Lyndon said is going to happen in two years, or five years. If someone ever took the time to organize all his past insane prophecies of doom and call them on them, it would be very amusing.

    My friend Den had a habit of saying “Tell Lyndon not to drop the soap” to them during his prison stay. That usually got a good reaction.

  52. I saw a Larouche ihfommercial on the New York airwaves when I lived in New Jersey… must have been during the Bush v Dukakis or Bush v Clinton campaign. The part I remember was that he hated “the Adam Smith system,” and blamed this “system” for the Great Depression, and seemed to hate the British for fooling everyone into believing in this “system.” He said that real economic growth came from government planning, and said that the planning done by the government during the Second World War had ended the Depression.

    Like Trey, I have also run into leftists, poli sci grad students, who immediatly said “You mean like Lyndon LaRouche?” when I said I was sympathetic to libertarian ideas. It is a bizarre and frustrating problem. Maybe leftists and welfare state liberals lump together in their minds anything that isn’t in what they consider the mainstream, and so get “fringe” groups mixed up if they are alliterative.

  53. “lump together in their minds anything that isn’t in what they consider the mainstream, and so get “fringe” groups mixed up if they are alliterative.”

    mitch,
    Most mens’ minds are self-clouding.
    (My little secret.)

  54. Mitch,

    From what I gathered from a Larouche biography I read, a large part of the reason LaRouche hates the Britsh is not just the free market stuff, but that he believes the royal family is heavily involved in the international drug trade. In the book there was a reproduction fo a poster claiming that the Queen of England, George Soros, and Milton Friedman were involved in some sort of Satanic drug conspiracy.

    Also, does anyone know why LaRouche hates rock music so much. I was never quite clear on that.

  55. Being rather intimately familiar with the LaRouchies (I attend Future-Fascist-Bootcamp which calls itself a “university” in DC [hint: the one ironically named after a founding father], the campus of which is overrun with the buggers in a way not dissimilar to the way in which I assume many Republicans imagine southwestern border towns to be overrun by terrorists who refuse to speak anything but Spanish), they’re more bizarre than anything else. They’re like the Fiery Furnaces of political movements, but without the cuteness and narrative capabilities. I tried to engage one in a debate on my way to class one time, and it gradually dawned on my that the particular acolyte in question COMPLETELY FAILED to grasp the difference between “public” and “private” funds. True story. I was shocked, I was appalled, I was late for German, so I left. I haven’t tried to have a rational conversation with one since, but who knows what next year will bring.

  56. “Also, does anyone know why LaRouche hates rock music so much.”

    Not sure, but I do know that he thought Jerry Garcia was a British secret agent.

  57. I will be very unhappy if my 440Mhz tuning forks become worthless…

    Behold my 440 MHz tuning forks, a million times more powerful than your puny 440 Hz tuning forks, with which I shall destroy the universe! Ha ha ha ha ha! 😉

    Arrrgh! How dare you Capitalize on my misfortune!

  58. Mo, it’s just to hear that I didn’t imagine it.

  59. From what I read of LaRoach and rock music on wikipedia, he disliked it more-or-less for the reason that it “kills reason” or some other nonsense and would lead to bad behavior, ala teh drugs.

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