Here's a question to ponder as you honor the Memorial Day weekend in your own way: Who else should be allowed to sneak F bombs into television commercials, now that thetruth.com has rolled out its whudafxup campaign? I have no complaints with the content of the first whudafxup commercial, which unclouds the public mind about British-American Tobacco Co.'s use of the word "Zephyr" as a code for "cancer" in internal documents in the 1950s. And I'm not recommending that FCC chairman Kevin Martin—last seen puzzling over the contextual riddle of when and where the word fuck can be uttered, pursuing TV stations with $32,500 and $325,000 fines for using unsigned advertorials, and deciding not to investigate the question of whether it was lawful for three major phone carriers to provide confidential customer information to the National Security Agency—exert himself pursuing a bunch of antitobacco do-gooders. I'm just saying take a look at the commercial: These bullhorned public servants are embedding more fucks than there were in the Clam-Plate Orgy. Who else is allowed to play?

NEXT: Cavanaugh on the Radio at 4:10 ET

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  1. Hey just as long as they stop showing the commercial with the close up of the cows asshole.

  2. DustinR – is that what that was? I thought it was the president of truth.gov

  3. DustinR – is that what that was? I thought it was the president of thetruth.gov

  4. Seanbaby.com’s best slogan: “Because kids shoot each other if they hear the word *fuck*.”

  5. I think the new rule is that people on the side of Truth and Goodness and can say fuck all they want – after all, they’re speaking Truth to Power, maaan.

  6. What about Burger King’s “Bucking Chicken”? I’m sure that’s not a sad attempt to get kids to buy BK products because they dared to almost say “fuck” on TV. Whoa, what edginess.

  7. BAI
    You heard the word cunt on broadcast television!? In the afternoon? I don’t believe you.

  8. Okay, cunt might have been basic cable, just going off of my (admittedly) spotty memory, but I’m pretty sure of the rest.

    When I hear dick and pussy on talk radio where I live, however,it is always in the context of a person’s characteristics (“He’s a real dick”, “Anti-war demonstrators are a bunch of pussies”) not a reference to sexual organs, so that may be why there seems to be no apparent “outrage”.

    It seems like the FCC has always turned a blind eye toward very popular songs if the expletive is half-way slurred or muddled, such as Roger Daltrey’s rapid, accented “Who the FUCK are you?!” (I’ve never heard that bleeped out on radio)at the end of Who Are You.

  9. Speaking of odd censorship, last nigh on Futurama, the phrase “Sweet zombie Jesus” was shortened to a much less funny “sweet zombie.” Anyone else think this odd?
    Maybe the new unsayable words will be jesus, mohammed, Qu’ran, etc.

  10. Also, Saturday Fun Fact:

    The Simpsons episode where this takes place:
    Homer: Well, there’s not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol is sure doing its job.
    Lisa: That’s specious reasoning, Dad.
    Homer: Thank you, sweetie.
    Lisa: Dad, what if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers.
    Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work?
    Lisa: It doesn’t work. It’s just a stupid rock.
    Homer: I see.
    Lisa: But you don’t see any tigers around, do you?
    Homer: (Looks around) Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock.

    Is actually from an old Sufi story about Mullah Nasrudin. The story goes like this:
    Mullah Nasrudin was scattering breadcrumbs and rocks around his house. His neighbors wondered why he was doing this, so they went over and asked him. Nasrudin replied, “I am putting the bread and rocks to keep away tigers.” One of his neighbors said, “Mullah, there are no tigers in this area.” Nasrudin smiled and said, “See how well they work!”

    The more you know…

  11. Randolph Carter – Regarding the editing on Futurama, who did it? Is this one of the Cartoon Network re-runs during their Adult Swim lineup?

  12. It was one of the cartoon network re-runs on adult swim. I only noticed because I had just watched the episode on DVD earlier in the day.

  13. Nasrudin smiled and said, “See how well they work!”

    Later that year, Nasrudin would emigrate to America. He would eventually become the head of the NEA.

  14. Well, if they can say fuck on the air in the name of anti-smoking, then I would like to see MUCH more graphic commercials explaining what smoking can do to your sex life.

  15. And a follow up to my comment that people are filtering out offencive anti-smoking ads:

    Health Canada currently makes cigarette companies here print warning labels containing graphic images of things like blackened lungs and cancer patients. They’re now going to put even more graphic pictures, because smokers are no longer reacting to the existing images. I’m wondering when they’re going to resort to using pics of aborted fetuses and post-autopsied bodies.

  16. Enough’s been said about the circumventing of FCC rules for trivial government sponsored propaganda crap, but I just wanted to say that Derrick really, really reminds me of Butros-Butros Ghali on the “WhatDaFxUp” site home page.

  17. I know some of you have seen this before. It has gotten good reviews and has some vague connection to the topic. Here (once again) is the public service announcement I want to see.

    Setting: Sunny day in the park, father and son taking a stroll.

    Kid: Dad, did you ever do drugs?
    Dad:[stammers] Well uhh

    [guy with large Que cards (QCG) runs up and holds up card that reads:

    Dad: [Looks at card, begins reading, vaguely dispassionate]
    Yeah I did, and it was a dumb…
    [shakes head begins speaking in engaged conversation voice ]
    Yeah, yeah I did. I did a lot of dumb things too. But I also had some great times. Some of the best moments of my life happened when I was high. Like the first time I made love to your mother.

    [QCG gets panicked look on face. Turns card over and reads it (twice) turns card back around and holds it up, waves it back and forth]

    Kid: Sooooo, you’re saying drugs made your life better?
    Dad: I’m saying that drugs are powerful things. And like all powerful things, you need to have a healthy fear of them. You see son, drugs, like cars, a little knowledge, and religion, can be very dangerous. But they can also be useful and life enhancing when used responsibly. It’s important that you educate yourself on the effects and risks before you start experimenting.

    [QCG rotates the “yeah I did” card to back of stack. He frantically waves the new top card which reads:

    Dad: [turns his back to QCG and faces his son] And the biggest risk of all is the fact that they’re illegal. Not only can you get arrested, but if you’re convicted you loose any chance of getting into college or landing a decent job. And of course there’s no FDA or even Consumer’s Reports to ensure purity and quality. For instance, Ecstasy is far safer than beer, but when you buy pills on the black market, there’s no way of knowing what is in them. You could be putting anything from sugar to cyanide in your body.

    [Father and son begin walking again. QCG violently throws the “no one ever” card away. His new card reads:
    He is walking backwards and jamming his finger at his card]

    Kid: So if making drugs illegal actually makes them more dangerous, why don’t we just end drug prohibition?
    Dad: Well it’s like I said son, people do a lot of dumb things.
    [Father and son continue talking and walk off together]
    [QCG trips and falls to ground, cards go flying. Close up on his face – look of exasperation]
    QCG: I need a drink

  18. Looks like teens are already tiring of Truth’s paternalism (would they be teens if they couldn’t spot it?!?).

    Just click “Rate More” and take a look. Teens have rated, by a 60%/40% margin for a product that kills “50,000 people each year who don’t even use it” and “12,000 people killed each day”. They were also overwhelmingly in favor of using the term Zephyr as a metaphor for cancer.

    Game over man!

  19. Our system has detected you are seriously draggin’ on your flash upgrades. So let’s get to it. It takes only a minute, and everything here at Whudafxup.com is gonna work a lot smoother once you’re up-to-date. Enjoy!

    Is anything lamer than adults trying to seem hip by using slang that they don’t understand? Seriously, dudes. It’s a simple technical upgrade message. You sound much cooler with a “this site requires Flash X.n” than with “you’re draggin’ on your upgrades.”

  20. the whatdafuxup website also has links to… paris hilton titty-flashing porn. In the “Duh news” section. Is the guy who runs it some kind of ridiculous performance artist?

  21. This is just my reaction but I got rid of my tv 2 years ago because the truth and the ondcp ads were so patronizing and smug and everywhere. I grew weary of engaging in media that trotted out such bullshit. I found it better to find other outlets that haven’t been polluted. Several magazines I had subscriptions to that advertised themselves as ‘progressive culture’ outlets started having truth ads and I stopped my subscription. I have no belief that enough people would be willing to do this to make an impact but I am happier not seeing this paternalistic filth trotted out. I just don’t want to be a part of that shit. I hope all of this fuckwits who were involved in producing that crap have long lives filled with dementia shitting themselves in a nursing home at 90. I’ll die happy at 60 but I’ve lived more smoking drinking and whoring.

    -doesn’t hurt that I don’t like sports and never was that into tv. I got satellite radio and a spend a lot on books and have a vacant look at work when everybody discusses american idol.

  22. Randolph,
    Even better. One of the articles they link to from the Motley Fool is calling US Tobacco an undervalued stock with a high-dividend yield (>5%) and that one should consider inveting in it. Ahh, good ol anti-tobacconists plugging tobacco companies.

  23. Is anything lamer than adults trying to seem hip by using slang that they don’t understand?

    What’s lamer is having an entirely flash based site to begin with. One of my pet peeves…

  24. What’s lamer is having an entirely flash based site to begin with.

    A flash based site with no “skip intro” feature.

  25. Seems like only a year ago me and the other smokers lined up at the truth mobile at the SDSU tailgate before the aztecs game. I still have some sweet pictures of us all with cigarettes in one hand and Coronas in the other wearing the snazzy t-shirts and sweatbands they handed out. I miss college.

  26. Ahh, good ol anti-tobacconists plugging tobacco companies.

    Well, of course, Mo, if one subscribed to conspiracy theories, one might speculate that since thetruth.com is dependent on tobacco revenues for their funding they have developed a vested interest in the continued profitability of the tobacco industry.

    Or is it possible they’re just incompetent and have not vetted their links adequately?

  27. What’s lamer is having an entirely flash based site to begin with. One of my pet peeves…

    A Flash site that requires Flash 8 to view. I’m missing out on all the fun, because Linux only has Flash 7 available for it. Who will tell all the geeky teens that smoking is bad for them if they can’t see that site on their computers? Think of the children! Don’t use crappy flash animations for your site!

  28. Who will tell all the geeky teens that smoking is bad for them if they can’t see that site on their computers?

    That sounds to me like a pretty poor bunch o’ geeks.

  29. The problem with the truth campagin is that is captures the teen “mood” so well.

    Antagnoistic, know-it-all confronataional and lots of other annoying adjectives that help explain why we sequester people of this age now in universities in hopes they will grow out of the worst of it before the rest of us have to listen to them.

    I never saw a point to smoking, but I did once consider using a nicotine patch to see what the drug was like.

  30. I’m looking for an honest man. Whatever the fuck that means.

  31. Health Canada currently makes cigarette companies here print warning labels containing graphic images of things like blackened lungs and cancer patients.

    I’ve always thought they were going about that wrong. How many teens care what they look like on the inside? Now a picture of a model with a lung surgery scar…

    Warren nailed it. Although I think the main point of encouraging parents to deny teen drug use is indeed to avoid “mixed messages.” Like having so many successful adults admitting they spent college experimenting while we’re trying to scare everyone with the “fact” that juvenile drug use leads inevitably to junky hell.

  32. Presented for your approval: The year was 1959. Tobacco companies were using the code-name ZEPHYR in place of “CANCER” in internal memos. At the same time, five-pack-a-day chain-smoker Rod Serling was writing CBS’s cult-favorite TV series, “The Twilight Zone.” A popular first-season episode, which would have been written late in 1959 or early in 1960, featured a baseball team named the “Hoboken Zephyrs.” Some say the use of this rarely heard word in both the tobacco company memos and Serling’s classic TV episode was mere coincidence. But then, it is also said that there are no “coincidences” in … THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

  33. Duh News?

    “Proof that the truth is stranger than fiction. Well not the truth as in us the truth but like the truth truth…Anyway, just read these curiously newsworthy stories and you’ll see what we’re talking about.”

    The first four “news” items go to thesuperficial.com.

    “About The Superficial

    The Superficial is a brutally honest look at society and its obsession with the superficial. It is not satire. It is not social commentary. It is the voice of our society at its worst. It is first impressions without sense of social obligation. It is the truth of our generation. It is ugly racism. It is jealousy. It is honest.

    Just kidding. Our goal is to make fun of as many people as possible.”

    And they do! Is theonion.com “newsworthy” as well?

    I also had to type Duh News out by hand because you cannot copy and paste the text off of a Flash-based website. Whudafxup with that?

  34. My favorite is from comedy central.

    Stand up guy telling jokes about how comedy central has asked him not to say “dick” so much. Turns out that he can call somebody a “dick” but he can’t talk about his “dick” without the need for them to bleep…

    So he did a whole routine about “But what if some guy’s dick is you know kind of a dick.” The broadcast fluidly bleeped or not the appropriate reference across maybe 30 each in the next five minutes.

  35. Geez, the tobacco companies used a euphemism for cancer back in the fifties? Stop the fucking presses! Is that the best the anti-smoking assholes can do these days?

  36. We are wellocme to it’s configuration.

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