On Your Next Trip to Iran, Don't Miss the Uranium Hexafluoride Dance Troupe and Good-Time Boogie-Woogie Revue in the Holiest City of Mashad!

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iranian dancers.jpg

As Iran's thermonuclear answer to the June Taylor Dancers (themselves a sort of entertainment A-Bomb that helped contain Soviet Communism every bit as much as the Berlin airlift) clink vials of uranium hexafluoride above (careful, guys!), Iran's president proclaims to the world that his country has joined the nuclear club by enriching uranium for the first time. Which means a showdown with the UN, the US, and a bunch of other folks is on the horizon:

The announcement from President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was certain to heighten international tensions surrounding Iran's nuclear program. The U.N. Security Council has demanded that Iran stop all enrichment by April 28 because of suspicions the program is designed to make nuclear weapons…..

[President] Ahmadinejad warned the West that trying to force it to abandon uranium enrichment would "cause an everlasting hatred in the hearts of Iranians."

More here.

And while we're waiting for the bombing to begin (either by them or by us), take the time to read Iraj Isaac Rahmin's brilliant "meditation on a life under tyranny," "Where the Shah Went Alone," which appeared in the July 2003 issue of Reason. Nothing excuses the vile repressiveness of the current Islamic regime, but Rahmin's haunting essay reminds us why the fundamentalist revolution of '79 was, at least for a short period of time, a popular one.

NEXT: Borderline Sanity

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  1. Which means a showdown with the UN, the US, and a bunch of other folks is on the horizon

    I think what it means is that the showdown is several years overdue, and probably too late.

  2. Say, didn’t I see a movie with some guys worshipping a nuclear weapon?

  3. “Say, didn’t I see a movie with some guys worshipping a nuclear weapon?”

    Well, then as long as we keep Charleton Heston out of Iran, we’re safe.

  4. I’d caption the picture “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.”

  5. R.C.

    You are right it is too late. I am pretty much resigned to the fact that Iran is going to use a nuclear weapon on someone. I only hope that the rest of the world has the courage to turn Iran into a glass parking lot as a result, but other than Isreal, I am not sure anyone even the United States has the self confidence to fight for itself anymore. It is just awful.

  6. SR, since Heston blew up the Earth at the end of that movie, does that make him a “maniac” who should be damned, damned to hell? I mean, when we did (will do?) it, there were (will be?) still people, mutants, and apes left. He apparently made (will make?–damn this time traveling grammar! Damn it to hell!) the Earth entirely uninhabitable.

    joe said something in a previous thread about Iran’s leadership acting entirely rationally in its foreign policy. I think that’s not quite the case. Even Russia is sounding like they’ve had it. I hope fervently that this doesn’t lead to war, but I’m starting to think that it will. Certainly, merely bombing Iran seems out of the question. Still, no reason to give up on diplomacy, especially if the international “support” for Iran continues to bleed off.

  7. “SR, since Heston blew up the Earth at the end of that movie, does that make him a ‘maniac'”

    I would say, yes, it did/does/will make/made him a maniac. After all, he usurps/usurped/will usurp the rightful power of Chuck Norris to decide whether all life on Earth should be permitted to exist or not.

  8. Pro,

    For rules on Past Future Prefect Tense, read Douglas Adams’ “Resturaunt at the End of the Universe”.

  9. I remember final few minutes of the documentary Trinity And Beyond where it showed footage of the Chinese testing their first A-bomb. Before they detonated the nasty thing, they actually had women dressed in Mao-suits entertain troops (who rode on horses toward the blast area after the bomb was detonated) with sword dances.

  10. Iran is bluffing.

    They’ve enriched Plutonium in a month?!

    Give me a break. Russia was going to have to give them the enriched crap before (If you need Russian help then you are in trouble).

    Their midget hairy president just wants the West to invade because that’s the only thing he finds interesting – It’s not like they sit around all day and discuss farm subsidies and underage drinking?

    Like my mother said, just ignore them.

  11. coyote1284, in eerie, time-travelish form, I placed a hold on that exact book two days ago. How wise I was/am/will be.

    SR, I have a vision of Chuck Norris being the tribal leader of all of those barely past animal humans. Note Nova’s unusual hotness for someone who lived/will live/has livened at a Stone Age level. Clearly a sign of Norrisification.

  12. But, but, Mark, they have the silvery vials! Proof! Uranium and plutonium are the only things that come in silvery vials.

    If Iran has nothing, and if Iraq really had no WMDs either, this is an interesting object lesson in Middle Eastern bluster. Unfortunately, we take such things more seriously these days. One would think that our presence in two neighboring countries would give Iran pause. Guess not.

    All Hail the Silvery Vials!

  13. Didn’t Israel say they wouldn’t allow Iran to have nuclear weapons (considering that Iran has declared it’s intention to destroy Israel). Why not just sit back and let Israel pre-emptively nuke Iran, and we don’t get involved, and thus we don’t look like bad guys.

    Seems like with the U.S. getting involved, we are going to look like the bad guys either way. If we stop Iran, we look like imperialists bullying a small country. If we don’t stop Iran, then we get blamed for not doing enough to stop Iran. But if we ignore the situation, we don’t look bad, and we get rid of a potential adversary without having to drop a single bomb on anyone.

  14. Rex Rhino, I fear that the Arab world would blame us for any action by Israel. Might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb.

    Maybe we should secretly tell France that we’d support a French invasion of Iran. And that they could keep it afterwards. Should improve our relations with the E.U., anyway. And nobody in their right mind could blame us for anything that France does.

  15. Maybe we should secretly tell France that we’d support a French invasion of Iran. And that they could keep it afterwards. Should improve our relations with the E.U., anyway. And nobody in their right mind could blame us for anything that France does.

    Problem is, they’d establish a beachead and then promptly surrender.

  16. Pro Libertate,

    If only the French had the ability to invade and colonize Iran. Right now I would take some good old fashioned European imperialism in a minute. Let them go run the world again and the United States can go back to being isolationist. It won’t happen of course, but it is a nice thought.

  17. The scariest thing about the conflict of civilizations is that Middle Easterners are so tacky! From those pictures of Mohammed a couple of months ago that are sold on Iranian streets to this utterly gawdawful dance to celebrate the atom, they are all so tacky!

    No wonder those women cover their faces. I would DIE if I was caught wearing those clothes!!!

  18. Can anyone explain why Iran is making this noise? Shouldn’t they make kissy noises until they’ve actually achieved their goals?

  19. Perhaps they are actually insane?

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