Anna Nicole and the Bush Admin's Suitors

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Zaftig reality-TV star and Texan Anna Nicole Smith is going to the Supreme Court with the Bush administration's blessing, reports Forbes. No, the undulating diet spokesgal isn't the next High Court nominee–she's trying to get half of the estate of her late husband, oilman J. Howard Marshall, who kicked the bucket in 1994 (and a year after getting hitched to Anna Nicole at age 89).

Marshall's son, E. Pierce, inherited his father's dough, but Anna Nicole sued, claiming she was promised half. A Texas probate court ruled against her on that claim. But when she filed for bankruptcy in California, a federal court in the Golden State ruled she was entitled to halfsies.

Enter the Bush admin as a friend of the 1993 Playmate of the Year:

Given the lack of a bequest and the long history of probate courts having the last word in such disputes, Marshall would seem to have the edge in Marshall v. Marshall (Smith's legal name is Vickie Lynn Marshall). But the 1993 Playmate of the Year has an unlikely ally: the Bush administration. Anxious about the erosion of federal court jurisdiction in these matters, the solicitor general has filed an amicus brief on Smith's behalf. They couldn't make this stuff up.

Whole bit here.

Unlikely connection to Bush v. Gore here.

Bush's squirrely relationship to federalism discussed here.

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  1. Enter abstention upon the scene.

  2. I was sure that the Anna Nicole’s argument is that the son destroyed the documents that created a trust for her.

    It’s an interesting case though over which has precedent, probate courts or bankruptcy courts.

  3. Anything about preserving the sanctity of marriage in that amicus brief?

  4. Anna: Ate J. Howard’s sperm (in theory)

    I wouldn’t be so sure. From the article:

    “the pair did not live together and Smith was known to be rather less infatuated by her nonagenarian husband”

    Just when we need Johnnie Cochran: “If she did not blow, she gets no dough!”

  5. Come ON…I mean, what’s the point of her having to marry a super old guy if she doesn’t even end up with any of the cash??

  6. Next, can we have an update of the antics of Benifer? Perhaps an article on Christina Aguillera?

  7. “Anxious about the erosion of federal court jurisdiction in these matters, the solicitor general has filed an amicus brief on Smith’s behalf.”

    Federal court jurisdiction in a family dispute? Is Anna Nicole Smith being used by the Bush administration to justify the Terri Schivo mess?

  8. Is Anna Bush’s Marilyn? (couldn’t resist) Happy Birthday Mr. President! Oh shit, Cheney had a heart attack.

    Anyway, unlike Benifer, the Supreme Court security had to up security to deal with the extra media, and that’s your tax dollars Mencken. On the plus side, it was just reported that she stopped to pose for photos with security guards. Maybe they can hawk them on ebay in lieu of pay.

  9. From the looks of Marshall Sr. before he died, one vigorous titfuck should’ve killed him. If she did, in fact, send him on his way with a smile on his face, she should get some dough.

  10. Billary, Brangelina, Bennifer–when will this “combine two names into one” fad die OUT, already?

    If my boyfriend and I became celebrities, would people call us “Jeffiner?” Faugh. That’s reason enough to embrace obscurity.

  11. It’s not about law, jurisdiction, or justice. It’s about a whore and her lawyers getting their hands on the old man’s money. If she doesn’t win, they don’t get paid. Leastways…not nearly as much. ( the whore already got paid…alot more than she was worth!)

  12. Anna Nicole Smith is absolutely hysterical. If you haven’t seen the E! bio on her, do so immediately.
    I don’t want to live in a country where a woman like Anna Nicole can’t take a dirty old man’s money when he wants to give it to her.

  13. How about if Hit and Run’s celebrity couple just swap the first two letters of their names? Then they can adhere to celebrity custom but still be Jeff and Jennifer.

  14. I prefer “Jennifeffner”.

  15. Does the court have the authority to just, you know, strip both of these useless parasites of all their wealth and give it a shelter for homeless puppies?

  16. Increase the death tax to 100% and decrease the income tax with the revenue. That would eliminate this issue. ; )

  17. I prefer “Jennifeffner”.

    That would only work if I started dating that Playboy guy, and I’m not blonde enough to do that.

  18. Die, two-names-in-one fad. Die die die.

  19. Man you’d think marshall the younger would have just ponied up and bought the hussie off with a cash percentage years ago… After seeing some of her intoxicated fat-assed antics on tv, I can’t imagine she wouldn’t have jumped at $50 million in cash to go away. And given the embarrasment factor, Peirce would have been getting a deal at that price. Heck he could probably have gotten a parting hook up in the deal!

  20. Why didn’t the bubble blonde get something in writing? Sheesh. Not a Nickel for Anna Nicole

  21. Going back to the topic, I’m none too fond of gold diggers but even less do I like the idea that a person is somehow obligated to leave his money to his kids, or that a kid is automatically entitled to his parent’s wealth when said parent kicks the bucket. If a rich old fart would rather leave his money to a young thing who made his last years a little more fun–well, it looks like Anna Nicole did more to earn that money than did the man’s son.

  22. Why didn’t the bubble blonde get something in writing?

    She got it on tape. The old man says what he wants her to have.

    I actually kind of like Anna Nicole. She is hilarious, and I’ve always thought, for a single mom, size 12, working at a Wal-Mart in Texas to end up where she is, is pretty amazing. Good for her, say I!

  23. I can see how the federal courts need to step in to resolve an argument between a CA court and a TX court, but I’m confused why the CA court ruled the way it did. They seem to be violating the Full Faith and Credit clause.

  24. If my boyfriend and I became celebrities, would people call us “Jeffiner?”

    I would suggest the easier-to-pronounce “Jenneff.” (Or else “Jeffner,” but as you said, people would then assume a connection to Playboy.)

    I just wanted to say that it’s about damn time we had an Anna Nicole Smith thread.

  25. I would suggest the easier-to-pronounce “Jenneff.”

    Which can be shortened to “Jen F.” in a pseudo-cool “J. Lo” fashion.

  26. The name would be Jennifrey.
    Possibly J.J. Abelson, but only if we co-write southern mystery novels.

  27. If Anna Nicole Smith started dating Ben Affleck then people could call them Benanna.

  28. Alas, my boyfriend and I are cursed with vowel-laden names full of sibilants and glides. No comboing for us.

    (I just totally geeked out, linguistic style! Woo-hoo!)

  29. If my boyfriend and I became celebrities, would people call us “Jeffiner?” Faugh. That’s reason enough to embrace obscurity.

    I think “Jeff” would work just fine (first two letters of Jennifer, last two from Jeff). That, or “Jenn”.

    linguist: How about “Andlie”?

    I only saw the Anna Nicole show maybe once, while at the gym, but anyone willing to make a fat, washed up, lascivious slob of themselves on national television is ok with me.

  30. She got it on tape. The old man says what he wants her to have.

    Unless it’s a will on tape, I doubt just because he said something on tape means its enforcable by law.

    I know I would be in all sorts of trouble if everything said on tape was enforcable in a court of law.

  31. Billary, Brangelina, Bennifer–when will this “combine two names into one” fad die OUT, already?

    Don’t forget Filliam H. Muffman, star(s) of The Splendiferous Zeppelin Escapades of Filliam H. Muffman.

    http://www.comedycentral.com/sitewide/media_player/play.jhtml?itemId=58886

  32. This isn’t really about who gets the money. It’s about who gets to decide. Does anyone here think the SCOTUS will say anything other than “We Do”?

  33. She should have gotten the will tattoo’d on her ass.

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