Fruit of Islam

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The Strand, a student paper at Victoria University of the University of Toronto, gets into the strangest Muhammad cartoon controversy yet. In a chin-stroking essay on its decision about reprinting the Jyllands-Posten pics, editor-in-chief Aine O'Hare decides that the original cartoons have no news value, but that this one does:

An Islamic student group is outraged. So is this blogger, who objects that Jesus in the picture is "clearly the sexual aggressor." I say any self-respecting Christian should want Jesus to be the top, and the most offensive thing in this affair is that Aine O'Hare's incoherent essay contains a metaphor so tortured even Alberto Gonzales wouldn't allow it:

"However, you can only push an envelope so far before you get a nasty paper cut, one sure to be infected with the gangrene of social unrest."

Statement from Victoria University president P.W. Gooch.

Homosexuality in Pakistani madrassas.

Fruit of Islam, in spiffy bellhop uniforms, guarding the Honorable Elijah Muhammad during a speech.

NEXT: Three Years For David Irving, or, Maybe There Really Is Something To This Whole Holocaust Thing

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  1. Is it just me, or has everyone gone Brokeback Mountain-y?

  2. at any rate, the guy Jesus is frenching looks more like bin Ladin than any prophet.

  3. that’s hot.

  4. Jesus needs to shave before he goes around kissing guys.
    And is it just me or does Mohammed have a hairy back starting around the middle of his back? Mo, baby, if you are going to wax you have to wax all the way. Any good Aesthetician will tell you that.

  5. As a professional journalist, it’s good to know that student newspapers still suck. That cartoon is so split through with amateur esthetics, it makes a Jack T. Chick tract look like Florentine art. I thought Jesus was kissing a man with a roll of toilet paper on his head. Not to mention its lame attempt at giving us all the political and religious warm fuzzies.

  6. An Islamic student group is outraged. So is this blogger, who objects that Jesus in the picture is “clearly the sexual aggressor.”

    I think it depends on what’s goin’ on with Mohammed’s hands. Theoretically, if Jesus has his hands around Mohammed’s neck, then aren’t Mohammed’s hands on Jesus’…

    Come to think of it, this is pretty outrageous. There’s nothing un-libertarian about being outraged, is there? …’cause I always thought that was half the fun.

  7. An Islamic student group is outraged. So is this blogger, who objects that Jesus in the picture is “clearly the sexual aggressor.”

    Well, maybe. But that hot backless number that Mohammed is wearing definitely says, “Come hither.”

  8. I decree the following:

    HILARIOUS.

  9. Remember that Star Trek episode where Spock tell the computer “Believe me, I am lying”, and the computer cannot handle the paradox? “If you say you are lying, it means you are lying that you are lying, you are telling the truth, but telling the truth you are lying… BZZZPPPPZZTTTHHH!!”

    This is the same effect with the Political Correctness androids here in Canada when looking at this cartoon!

    “Muslims are upset because the cartoon offends them by depicting Mohommed as homosexual… must make sure muslims are not offended… except that gays will be offended if we imply that there is anything offensive about homosexualiy… must make sure gays are not offended… but if we don’t offend them we offend muslims… but if we don’t offend muslims, we offend gays… Politically Correct brain cannot compute! BBBTTHHHZZZZPP!”

  10. Well, maybe. But that hot backless number that Mohammed is wearing definitely says, “Come hither.”

    I’ll have to agree with you stevo, wearing clothes like that? He had it comin’ 😉

  11. “You’ve got your Jesus in my Mohammed!”
    “You’ve got your Mohammed in my Jesus!”

  12. “In villages throughout the country, young boys are often forcibly “taken” by older men, starting a cycle of abuse and revenge that social activists and observers say is the common pattern of homosexual sex in Pakistan. Often these boys move to the cities and become prostitutes.”

    Oh! Look! They have boy whores! Isn’t that thoughtful?

  13. Remember that Star Trek episode where Spock tell the computer “Believe me, I am lying”, and the computer cannot handle the paradox? “If you say you are lying, it means you are lying that you are lying, you are telling the truth, but telling the truth you are lying… BZZZPPPPZZTTTHHH!!”

    Actually, I think that was Harry Mudd, not Spock.

  14. Oh! Look! They have boy whores! Isn’t that thoughtful?

    “Wash, tell me that I’m pretty.”

    “If I weren’t married, I’d take you in a manly fashion.”

    “Because I’m pretty?”

    “Because you’re pretty.”

    And who can forget:

    “Goin’ on a year now and I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries!”

  15. “Goin’ on a year now and I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries!”

    Oh God. I can’t know that!

  16. C’mon. Flimsy period-piece robes? They’re ASKING fot it…

  17. Mohammad, I wish I knew how to quit you.

  18. “I never planned on going out this way. My only regret is that I never had the chance to be with you.”

    “Be with me? Do you mean to say, as in… sex?”

    “I mean to say.”

    “To hell with this! I’m gonna live!”

    Kaylee is my favorite of all the Firefly femmes. Inara is only in second place.

  19. Stevo, that seems to be the common consensus.

    Guys dig down-to-earth women.

    Especially if they can fix engines.

  20. Fruit of Islam? That’s the STUPIDIEST name you could ever give to a bunch of heavies, ‘cuz everytime I hear it I keep thinking of these comfortable, but fashionable briefs that I’m wearing…except with Allah Akbar printed on the ass.
    And isn’t that what every hard-ass bodyguard wants to hear, that he’s associated with something having to do with your ball-sack…

  21. medi = mediageek

    Stupid ADD.

  22. I lied. I’m actually wearing long johns…but the point remains the same!

  23. I’da been hard pressed to recognize Jesus or the big M.

    For its part, the administration?s initial assessment is that the editorial cartoon, however offensive to some members of our community, could not be characterized as a violation of the Human Rights Code, the Criminal Code, or the applicable University policies at Vic or U of T.

    What a crock. If the editorial committee had offended the correct groups there would have been hell to pay.
    Unless, of course, that was Jesus kissing a

  24. Ooooppps–ignore that last fragment.

    Are you sure that’s not George Harrison kissing the Big M?

  25. Oh God. I can’t know that!

    I could stand to hear a little more…

  26. It’s bad art, but it’s still fricken funny! I think it’s also a positive step towards the whole “scandal” fizzling out. Maybe.

  27. Anna Quindlen (2002) was first on the envelope thing. Women and lefties think it’s the mail kind. Math is hard.

    http://rhhardin.home.mindspring.com/imuscut.quindlen.ram (real audio)

  28. what is that thing on his back?? a third nipple or what?

  29. Ok, so they’re offended. Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.

    -jcr

  30. At least the cartoon didn’t show one of them in the other’s “tunnel of tolerance”. That would have been offensive.

  31. what is that thing on his back??

    Crescent and star, symbols of Islam.

    Stevo, that seems to be the common consensus. [re Kaylee] Guys dig down-to-earth women. Especially if they can fix engines.

    I don’t care about the engines … her character is just so damn cute and sweet. And the hair. And the cheekbones.

    Some women you just want to orally ravish from ankle to nape and back again (like Inara). Some you want to protect and keep safe from other brutes, possibly including yourself (like River). And some make you want to do both (like Kaylee).

    What were we talking about again? Oh, yeah. Blasphemous man-sex.

  32. Sounds like a great name for an album – here’s “Tongues in the Tunnel of Tolerance” the new hit from Brokeback Christ off of their double-platinum album “The Gangrene of Social Unrest”.

    That’s it, I’m starting a band, just as soon as I learn how to play an instrument.

  33. “However, you can only push an envelope so far before you get a nasty paper cut, one sure to be infected with the gangrene of social unrest.”

    Your obscure reference of the day: Anyone remember the narration in the old movie “Start the Revolution without Me?”

  34. Stevo, I agree as far as the crew is concerned, but that Saffron is one hottie. I’d take her in a manly fashion, that’s for sure.

  35. It’s an Amish couple with cool tatoos. They’d be rioting in the Pennsylvania countryside but, you know, they’ve got wooden computers and no internet access. Not even dial-up.

  36. you know, they’ve got wooden computers and no internet access.

    Well, the bawd rate is only 2 bits, but she’s worth it.

  37. Stevo, you are truly a Nerd among nerds…

    Having said that, Kaylee is the hottest one, by far.

  38. Talk about moral outrage! Where’s the love for Zoe?

  39. Man, keith, moving in on a widow. Tut, tut.

  40. Mohammed and Jesus sitting in a tree…

  41. You guys sound like a bunch of 14-year-old girls at a 1990’s pajama party arguing about which dude on 90210 is the hottest. *snark*

  42. smacky, it beats talking about offensive gay cartoons 🙂

  43. Not sure how we got on this subject, but I’d like to cast another vote for Kaylee.

  44. Man, keith, moving in on a widow. Tut, tut.

    I knew I was open to that criticism, but still.

  45. Well. . . finally. I’ve been waiting for MY turn to go apeshit. How do I go about it? Should I just go burn down a KFC, or maybe turn over some cars?

  46. I plan to run amok, then talk about my righteous anger on CNN. Shortly thereafter, my book deal for $5,000,000 will be concluded. As I will have the book ghostwritten, I’ll be enjoying my gains in Italy without any further effort on my part.

    I’ll vacation in Switzerland once I get my $10,000,000 for optioning the movie rights. Or maybe in Denamrk, seeing how much thanks I’ll owe the Danes by then.

  47. Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin’ real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn’t want it, Mo!

  48. I’ve been waiting for MY turn to go apeshit. How do I go about it?

    Considering the cartoon appeared in a Canadian publication (AND THE CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER HAS YET TO APOLOGIZE), I’d recommend vandalizing the hockey supplies section in your nearest sporting goods store.

  49. “Man, keith, moving in on a widow. Tut, tut.”

    Grief is Nature’s aphrodisiac.

  50. …the Taliban (who are also overwhelmingly Pashtun) executed three men for sodomy in 1998 by bulldozing a brick wall over them, burying two of them alive. (The third survived, which meant, according to Taliban law, that he was innocent, so he was taken to a hospital for treatment.)

    … insert British-accented comment about burning witches here …

  51. “You guys sound like a bunch of 14-year-old girls at a 1990’s pajama party arguing about which dude on 90210 is the hottest. *snark*”

    when is the contest about who has the largest breasts?

    Stevo: break out the ready whip and time to party!!!

    (interesting to see if any of the fundies on the board would object to that. or that the vigrin mary was actually not a virgin. or how sinead ripped up the pic of the pope)

    Rhywun: i’m sure Herrik would have other things to say about insertions with brit accents! 🙂

  52. Hehe, this cartoon is much funnier than the ones in Jyllands Posten (although obviously not drawn by a professional cartoonist). I bet that the Student group, that was so upset, actually thinks that Jesus, the son of God, is merely a prophet. I feel really insulted. Perhaps I should burn their pictures – or the Canadian flag? Then again, I might want to demand an apology from the Canadian prime minister or burn down an embassy or two, or boycott maple syrup with my pancakes….. ?:o)

    When the open societies and the closed ones clash, the open ones will always win eventually, ’cause having tasted freedom the majority of people will never give it up again.

  53. Mo:”Sweet Jesus! Shouldn’t we wait until we’re IN the Tunnel of Tolerance before doin’ this?”

  54. By the way, smacky, have you heard the tragic news? Horrible accident. Jake Gyllenhaal got killed last night. Got smooshed when Bruce Campbell’s chin fell on him from a passing airliner.

    Did you know him?

  55. How come no-one’s doing cartoons about *me*?

  56. Yeah, and how come noone’s doing cartoons about me?

  57. “However, you can only push an envelope so far before you get a nasty paper cut, one sure to be infected with the gangrene of social unrest.”

    … then amputated by the surgery of legislation, dressed in the bandages of the common law, fitted with the prosthesis of “time, place and manner” restrictions, rehabilitated by the physical therapy of public relations, and kept healthy by the balm of public apathy.

  58. …the Taliban (who are also overwhelmingly Pashtun) executed three men for sodomy in 1998 by bulldozing a brick wall over them, burying two of them alive. (The third survived, which meant, according to Taliban law, that he was innocent, so he was taken to a hospital for treatment.)

    … insert British-accented comment about burning witches here …

    Okay, here goes …
    (Voice of former conjured newt from a certain Monty Python Movie): “I got better!!”

    And in honor of Stevo’s post, if I ever form a punk-ska band, it will be called Mohamed’s Strapless Evening Gown

    Is it just me, or has everyone gone Brokeback Mountain-y?

    No, just Sermon on the Brokeback Mount …

  59. … then amputated by the surgery of legislation, dressed in the bandages of the common law, fitted with the prosthesis of “time, place and manner” restrictions, rehabilitated by the physical therapy of public relations, and kept healthy by the balm of public apathy.

    …and then regenerated using the stem-cell therapy of educated citizens so that one may pet and enjoy the ferret of libertarian thought.

  60. an Amazonian killing machine

    Be still, my heart!

  61. Stop the Serenity quotes RIGHT NOW because I still haven’t seen it – AAMOF, the hubby and I are supposed to watch it tonight. I stopped reading this thread after the Kaylee is hotter than Inara post cos I’m afraid I’ll read a spoiler about who gets knocked off.

    AAMOF, I should just leave this thread..

  62. Leave now, stubby, because there’s already been a huge hint about one of the dearly departed. If only Fox hadn’t killed the series, which forced accelerated demises of certain characters.

  63. This is funny…course the long haired bloke looks nothing like the historical Jesus (ie NearEast Jew)…he just looks like some hippy.

  64. I love that there are many Browncoats on here. For what it’s worth, Zoe is the shit.
    ~Lola

    No power in the ‘verse can stop me.

  65. Kaylee is shiny.

  66. don’t expect to laugh this hard again until the folks at the daily show match their “taint” shenigans. as far as pen and paper goes the cartooning pulitzer ought to be locked up for the rest of the year.

    ….. shame this ‘toonist won’t get it though.

  67. And hector mendieta wins the coveted “Post # 69” award!

    (Don’t be alarmed, it’s just one of our rituals around here.)

  68. An Islamic student group is outraged.

    In other news, it has been discovered that flies are attracted to crap.

  69. It just ain’t so. If Jesus were gay he’d get a decent hair cut, change that ugly outfit, trim that prophety beard at the very least, if not go clean cut. And he’d lose that silly outfit.

  70. Then again, I might want to demand an apology from the Canadian prime minister or burn down an embassy or two, or boycott maple syrup with my pancakes….. ?:o)

    Don’t blame me
    For my son Stan
    He saw the darn cartoon
    And now he’s off to join the Klan!

    It seemed appropriate.

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