All right, we'll call it a draw…


Notorious OBL has emerged from the shades with a groovy new audiotape explaining that he's finally got us right where he wants us. But he's willing to be merciful and call a truce, otherwise, God willing, you will see in your homes with horror as we take revenge on you for your crimes and you will be bitter and troubled as with God's permission we defend our dignity and then Thank God the handling-of-the-war approval rating of the Vietnam Butcher will continue to fall even if Inshallah there is an unexpected uptick in his overall job approval rating which ilhamdillah may be attributed to a better than expected shopping season for the birthday of the prophet Jesus (Peace be upon him), and so on and on, God willing.

A brief roundup of items:

Full text of the speech.

Anonymous CIA official verifies that it is bin Laden (whatever that means).

United States rejects the offer unless bin Laden agrees to pay closing costs.

Excerpts from past bin Laden threats.

Islam's most productive dead leader also taunted us like a Frenchman just before the 2004 election.

Finally, he gives a substantial shoutout to William Blum's Rogue State. I've never read that book. Does it really contain a passage that reads: "If I were president, I would stop the attacks on the United States: First I would give an apology to all the widows and orphans and those who were tortured. Then I would announce that American interference in the nations of the world has ended once and for all." Or is bin Laden freely translating?