The Geneva Conventions Do Not Apply at the Malibu Playhouse

On Friday, Senators Clinton (D-NY), Lieberman (D-CT), and Bayh (D-IN) introduced the Family Entertainment Protection Act, which aims to fine retailers who sell violent games to anyone under 17. Video games are, according to Clinton, "stealing the innocence of our children." Lieberman asserts the existence of "a growing body of evidence that points to a link between violent videos and aggressive behavior in children." Doubtful; but as long as we're snatching from little hands anything that encourages "aggressive behavior," we'll just have to ban violence-provoking plastic dolls as well:

Barbie, that plastic icon of girlhood fantasy play, is routinely tortured by children, research has found.

The methods of mutilation are varied and creative, ranging from scalping to decapitation, burning, breaking and even microwaving, according to academics from the University of Bath.

Violence and torture against Barbie were repeatedly reported across age, school and gender. No other toy or brand name provoked such a negative response.