Hey, Teachers! Leave Those Kids Alone! (Chapter XXXVIII)

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Eric Berlin points us this account of an Iowa schoolboy being expelled from eighth grade for compiling a list of people he found "annoying." As The Hawk Eye tells it:

An eighth-grader at West Central Junior High has been removed from school and may face a charge of disorderly conduct after school officials learned last week about a list that named students and school staff the boy considered irritating….

In a telephone interview Tuesday, [Superintendent Ralph] Grimm said the teen was taken out of school after being confronted Nov. 24 by Principal Jeff Nichols, who learned about the list late the previous day. A disciplinary hearing before the School Board has been set for Thursday….

Henderson County Sheriff Mark Lumbeck was to meet with school officials Tuesday as part of his office's investigation of the incident….Because no action was taken beyond compiling a list of names, Lumbeck said the only crime the boy could be charged with is disorderly conduct for disrupting the school environment.

Whole bit here. I can think of at least three people who have bumped up slots on the kid's list.

Paging Principal Stalin!

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  1. …the only crime the boy could be charged with is disorderly conduct for disrupting the school environment.

    Damn. This kid goes so far as to put together a whole fucking list, and all we can do is CHARGE HIM WITH DISORDERLY CONDUCT.

    Unbelievable.

  2. I’d like to know how the list was dealt with by the student before I consider this a thought crime.

    The superintendent went on to say there were other issues involving the student that needed to be addressed. Citing student privacy laws, he did not elaborate.

    I’d also like to know what these other issues are.

    …Lumbeck said the only crime the boy could be charged with is disorderly conduct for disrupting the school environment.

    As far as I can tell the disruption started when the Principal decided to be a prick.

  3. the only crime the boy could be charged with is disorderly conduct for disrupting the school environment.

    Don’t worry, I’m sure there are already a few legislators chomping at the bit to correct that oversight… 😉

  4. We could charge him with EXCESSIVE USE OF CAPS!

    WAS THIS SOCIALLY-WELL ADJUSTED BEING IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL? WELL THERE YOU GO

  5. We could charge him with EXCESSIVE USE OF CAPS!

    WAS THIS SOCIALLY-WELL ADJUSTED BEING IN A PUBLIC SCHOOL? WELL THERE YOU GO

  6. VM-

    We’re evil, aren’t we?

  7. ” I”M NOT SHOUTING!

    …ALRIGHT I AM!

    I”M SHOUTING I”M SHOUTING I”M SHOUT–”

    -Tim Curry, Clue

  8. hrumph.

    it’s just that…it’s just…

    i always wanted to do clean up in the evil petting zoo. it would be in the Yak’s lair. The Yak is a wonderfully-evil sounding beast.

    And since Rick S’s dog tore my Noam Chomsky blow up doll…

    it’s a hard lot.

    and then my “cunning linguist” joke wouldn’t go through the squirrels (evil squirrels) in the “always where under where” thread.

    sigh.

    to quote Russell the Pirate, one of my favorite Happy Tree Friends,”yar”.

    [ENTER FATHER]

    An’ no singin’!

    (EXACTLY where it was supposed to be from, smacky! awesome!

  9. hrumph.

    it’s just that…it’s just…

    i always wanted to do clean up in the evil petting zoo. it would be in the Yak’s lair. The Yak is a wonderfully-evil sounding beast.

    And since Rick S’s dog tore my Noam Chomsky blow up doll…

    it’s a hard lot.

    and then my “cunning linguist” joke wouldn’t go through the squirrels (evil squirrels) in the “always where under where” thread.

    sigh.

    to quote Russell the Pirate, one of my favorite Happy Tree Friends,”yar”.

    [ENTER FATHER]

    An’ no singin’!

    (EXACTLY where it was supposed to be from, smacky! awesome!

  10. hrumph.

    it’s just that…it’s just…

    i always wanted to do clean up in the evil petting zoo. it would be in the Yak’s lair. The Yak is a wonderfully-evil sounding beast.

    And since Rick S’s dog tore my Noam Chomsky blow up doll…

    it’s a hard lot.

    and then my “cunning linguist” joke wouldn’t go through the squirrels (evil squirrels) in the “always where under where” thread.

    sigh.

    to quote Russell the Pirate, one of my favorite Happy Tree Friends,”yar”.

    [ENTER FATHER]

    An’ no singin’!

    (EXACTLY where it was supposed to be from, smacky! awesome!

  11. smacky, I think the list was really just a red herring.

  12. sorry about the multiple posts.

    clue is one of my favorites. we watched that and “real genius” over the weekend. 🙂

  13. I wonder if they’ll arrest Santa at the shopping mall. I hear that he’s making a list and checking it twice…

  14. Because no action was taken beyond compiling a list of names, Lumbeck said the only crime the boy could be charged with is disorderly conduct for disrupting the school environment.

    A kid compiles a list of names and gets charged with disorderly conduct for “disrupting the school environment”. So what’s Principal Nichols going to get charged with? If a list of names gets a disorderly conduct charge, surely tossing a kid out and calling for a disciplinary hearing is more disruptive. Can we rendition the good principal to Singapore for a good old fashioned Iowa caning?

  15. Doesn’t everyone keep a list of people who are annoying?

    Mine starts with “everyone else” and moves on from there.

  16. Sorry about the excessive caps VM, this one just got me extra upset for some reason. I think it’s just been a long day.

  17. The people cited in the article are not very forthcoming with possibly critical information. Was the kid’s listed headed with “ANNOYING PEOPLE WHO NEED KILLING” or something? They won’t say.

  18. If making a list can get you kicked out of school these days I probably would face execution for the stuff I pulled in junior high school….

  19. Zach:

    i’m sorry – i was lampooning someone else. Not you at all. MY APOLOGIES.

  20. It is unbelieveable how many grossly stupid people who lack judgement there are out there and how they seem to gravitate to being school administrators.

  21. Bueller! Your ass is mine!

  22. Oh, Ed! You sounded just like Dirty Harry then.

  23. Having just taken the time to avoid being refered to the District Attorney for my sophmore’s truancy I’m in no mood for more of this foolishness. Why was I being threatened with prosecution? My daughter is a varsity athlete and left school for her 14 matches. And her crime for which I was being prosecuted? She was absent, you guessed it, 14 times from her last period class. At least my mom taught me how to deal with “educators.” I showed up and upon being told that neither the attendance officer or vice or principal had any time for me that day I said; “Great, no problem, I’m just glad to know the District Attorney will be getting involved now and that the school is 100% behind prosecuting WHOSOEVER is responsible. If it is me or my child let the full weight of the law come down. ANYONE else and the same thing had damn well better apply.” Surprise of surprises that very afternoon (Monday) the principal herself was all sweetness and light assuring me that this was the end of the matter.

  24. I remember finding a list that my mom had made of annoying kids at school. She said she REALLY hated some of those little brats and would’ve liked to strangle a few of them. She was teaching 6th grade math at the time.

  25. In high school I passed out black armbands to mark the 25th anniversary of the Tinker v. Des Monies (http://www.oyez.org/oyez/resource/case/391/) decision. Much more “disruptive” then a blog post, in fact I passed out a flyer with it. Glad I didn’t go to this guy’s school

  26. Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns.

  27. Sheesh. They should have seen some of the lists I kept when I was in school. They would have put me in an institution.

    One word: homeschooling. I’ll never let any of my children fall into the icy talons of the Thought Police.

  28. Shit, I wish it was that easy to get expelled at my junior high.

    It’s not like he’s going to face criminal charges, and I highly doubt this will ever really matter in his future. Anyone who inquires will most likely say “WTF were those cocksmacks thinking?”

    Maybe his parents will see the light of day and he’ll be taken out of the prison… (oops! I meant public school!)… system for good.

  29. “One word: homeschooling. I’ll never let any of my children fall into the icy talons of the Thought Police.”

    You are aware of the incredible tragedy you are courting here, right? Homeschooling would ensure that they NEVER SQUANDER any ACADEMIC TALENT they might have to become drunken frat boys/sorority chicks. ARE YOU REALLY WILLING TO TAKE THAT CHANCE?

  30. No Speakerboxxxing!

    And definitely no Love Below!

  31. Stevo,

    You’ve got a problem with someone keeping a list of ANNOYING PEOPLE WHO NEED KILLING? Let’s see, where’d I put that pencil….

  32. Ah, reminds me of a friend of mine in the army…he kept a list of the folks he was going to bust caps at just as soon as we landed in a combat zone with live ammo.

    I figured he was just taunting our so-called leadership, but I tried to keep on his good side.

  33. You are aware of the incredible tragedy you are courting here, right? Homeschooling would ensure that they NEVER SQUANDER any ACADEMIC TALENT they might have to become drunken frat boys/sorority chicks. ARE YOU REALLY WILLING TO TAKE THAT CHANCE?

    Sorry, but you’ve got your priorities wrong. Remember what Jesus said: What profiteth a man if he fulfilleth his academic potential but getteth not laid in the dorm?

    Absolutely nothingeth, that’s what.

  34. I keep a list of people who I think should continue living. It saves time.

  35. LOL, Kevin.

    By the way, I think the world would be a much happier place if there were fewer people BUSTING caps and more people TYPING caps.

    No, wait, that should be the other way around.

  36. I tried to keep on his good side

    yeah, no shit. LOL

  37. One of the advantages, and I am NOT a glass-is-half-full kinda guy, of all this crap is that you can use it to poison your kids against public schools. It isn’t subtle anymore so when you say, Jake, don’t you dare take that little jack knife to school with you because you know they will kick your butt right out the kid realizes how absolutely absurd that kind of stuf is and says something like that is soooooo stupid, dad. Small comfort, I know.

  38. It is unbelieveable how many grossly stupid people who lack judgement there are out there and how they seem to gravitate to being school administrators.

    … and homeland security officers, politicians, government bueraucrats, etc. It has to do with the whole ‘power over other people’ thing, I think.

  39. Seriously, every day it becomes more certain that our little experiment in liberty is over. The inmates are truly running the asylum.

    The voters recently outed a couple of schoolboard jackasses for pushing ID, but somehow I doubt that the same will happen for every stunt like this that happens every single day across the country. As bad as it may be, is teaching children idealogically driven junk-science that much worse than teaching them that finding people annoying, pretending parsely is marijuana, carrying any non-sanctioned pointy object and kissing are all criminal offenses?

    If this kid learns anything, let’s hope that it’s never let the government know what you’re thinking. The fact that this is a valuable lesson at all is truly frightening.

  40. Thank God the boy wasn’t wearing a trench coat. Thank God.

  41. Some key particulars of the case might be missing. For example, if the lad had assembled the list by cutting letters out of different magazines and signed it in the blood of his dead kitty, there could be probable cause.

  42. Just remember, if he had been home-schooled he would have missed out on all this “socialization”

  43. When I was in junior high, classmates used to pay me to write short stories in which they were horribly mutilated and kille dint he most grily fashion an aspiring seventh grade author could dream up. I shudder to think where that little business would get me today, though I bet it wouldn’t be as bad as my friend with superior sketching skills, who would get paid a dollar to sketch a naked woman for eager classmates.

  44. When I was in high school, I used to find out other students’ passwords and save explicit sex diaries on their personal school network folders.

    The worst punishment I got for that was the disciplinary guy reading them out loud to my evangelical Christian dad. Which was effective, come to think of it.

  45. Also, tell your kids to just never say the word “gun” in school. I was explaining to a kid that I would need a gun to have any chance of beating him in a fight. A nearby advisor heard “I’m going to bring a gun to school and keep it in room 302.” Psychological battery tests ensued.

  46. Jake, don’t you dare take that little jack knife to school with you

    Also, tell your kids to just never say the word “gun” in school.

    <sigh> I remember when I started carrying a jackknife to school. I was eight, in the third grade, and it was part of my Cub Scout uniform. There were sixty-some-odd other kids (8 to 11) in the Pack who did the same. Astoundingly blood did not flow in the halls.

    When we turned 11 we escalated to carrying Boy Scout pocket knives, which in addition to the knife blade, can opener, bottle opener and screwdriver, had an awl. Still, bodies were not stacked like cordwood.

    In high school we kept lists of girls we wanted to take up to Passion Point. No doubt today we’d have to register as sex offenders.

    How many people remember that in 1965 virtually every high school in New York City had an on-campus rifle team?

    <sigh>

  47. Note to self:

    Burn list of people I find annoying.

  48. my friend with superior sketching skills, who would get paid a dollar to sketch a naked woman for eager classmates.

    In grade school, classmates used to gather around to watch me draw, but they never paid me for it. I mostly drew pictures of Tyrannosaurus rex and spaceships, which is perhaps why.

    I still do, come to think of it.

  49. I’ll give you $1 for an original sketch of a T-rex chomping a spaceship out of the sky. Real email addy above.

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