Spoiler Warning


Republican dirty trickster Joseph Steffen used to be an aide to Maryland Gov. Robert Ehrlich; he lost his job last winter after he was caught spreading rumors about Ehrlich's most likely opponent in next year's reelection race. Now Steffen is contemplating a run against Ehrlich himself—as a Libertarian.

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  1. Boy, we Libertarians sure know how to pick ’em.

  2. Well, since he’s thinking of running, he’d better fill out the….

    Questionaire For Prospective LP Candidates

    1) Religious Affiliation:

    a) Objectivist (list faction here)
    b) Atheist (evangelical)
    c) Atheist (other)
    d) Druid

    2) How many guns do you own? (If you refuse to answer, please attach an essay on privacy, fifty thousand word minimum)

    3) Skin color:
    a) White
    b) Pasty white
    c) Blue
    d) Other

    4) Gender:
    a) Male
    b) Trans-sexual
    c) Gender is an oppressive construct to enforce conformity
    d) Female (yeah, right)

    5) Pets
    a) Big, mean, dog
    b) Ferrets
    c) Other animals prohibited by state or local law
    d) Ownership of an animal violates the animal’s right to be free from coercion


  3. Seriously, are he and the party an ideological match at all, or is this a flag of convenience thing?

  4. whatever you think about the Libertarians, theirs doesn’t seem to be a flag of convenience.

  5. In re: Comment #2- They sure know how to pick us, at any rate.

    Let’s hope the Maryland LP has the good sense to use whatever tools are available to block him from running as a Libertarian. LP ballot access should not be regarded as a throw-away item that anyone can grab as a fall-back postion.

  6. This pisses me off to no end. Ehrlich is the closest thing we will ever get to a libertarian office-holder in this godforsaken state, and he is going to have enough problems come next election (unfortunately, I think the anointed Democrap is going to waltz right in).

    If this asshole leaches off badly needed votes from Bob he should be locked up.

  7. Other questions:

    a) Software engineer
    b) Other type of engineer
    c) Scientist
    d) Firearms-related
    e) Lawyer
    f) Writer
    g) Hemp-related
    h) Natural cures
    i) Can I interest you in buying some gold?

    What else am I supposed to do while my code runs?

  8. Should I rip up my voter registration card now?

  9. whatever you think about the Libertarians, theirs doesn’t seem to be a flag of convenience.

    Remember Howard Stern’s run? It seemed pretty convenient for him.

  10. run? as in, for office?

    obviously, no.

  11. Godforsaken. Glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.

  12. THoreau,

    You forgot to add in your first post:

    a)Tin foil
    b)Aluminum Foil
    c)Gay Biker Cap
    d)Bald head = solar panel for sex machine
    e)Metrosexuals do not wear hats

  13. Amplification of Thoreau’s #2:

    1. How many guns do you own?
      1. 0
      2. 1
      3. an arsenal
    • Of the guns you own how many are:
    1. registered
    2. unregistered
    3. don’t ask
    1. politically correct
    2. Saturday night specials
    3. pocket rockets
    4. plastic handguns
    5. sniper rifles
    6. assault rifles
    7. street sweepers
    8. .50 caliber anti-aircraft guns
    9. homemade
    • Do you have a hunting license?
    1. no
    2. yes
    3. yes and all the tags are used
    4. yes a lifetime license
    5. yes and my spouse and kids have theirs
    • Do you have a concealed handgun license?
    1. no
    2. yes, for my state of residence
    3. yes, also for adjoining states
    4. yes, for all states where nonresidents qualify
    5. yes, it’s a laminated copy of the Second Amendment
  14. Larry A and mk, you guys cracked me up!

    I especially love the “laminated copy of the Second Amendment”.

    If the medications don’t prevent hair loss I’ll go the totally shaved route. It works for Moby.

  15. “Remember Howard Stern’s run? It seemed pretty convenient for him.”

    “run? as in, for office?”

    As in for the office of governor of the state of New York in 1994. He soon dropped out of the race, however, because he would have had to disclose information about his finances.

  16. I am a registered L in MD and used to be a dues paying member of MD LP. The Last LP Candidate for Gov was supported by(supported?) and appeared in joint campaign flyers with a Nazi White Supremicist running for state house and a UFO guy running for COngress.

    So maybe this is an improvement?

  17. God save the Free State.

  18. Politician is pretty much the only job description you qualify for when your job evaluation includes:
    “worked for Ehrlich for more than two decades and was dubbed the “Prince of Darkness” by the governor.”

  19. Do i get no props for the tip?

  20. Credit for the tip goes to my wife, who entered my office yesterday morning carrying the Baltimore Sun and said, “You’ve got to read this.”

  21. Given the man’s history, I suspect the following plan:
    1) Get nominated as the Libertarian.
    2) Wait until it is too late to substitute a new candidate.
    3) Withdraw from the race and endore Ehrlich.

    Alternately, if he is feeling self-sacrificing:
    1.5) Emphasize all of the most ludicrous and unpopular parts of the libertarian package. Get to be really, really hated. (Like David Duke hate levels)
    2) Same 2 as above.
    3) Withdraw from the race and endore Ehrlich’s opponent.

    These plans minimize, rather than maximize, libertarian drain from the Ehrlich vote count. He’s a dirty-trickster, remember? Look for a dirty trick.

  22. Obviously, ‘endorse’, not ‘endore’. Preview is your friend, but cut & paste isn’t.

  23. [Howard Stern] run? as in, for office? obviously, no.

    Yeah, Howard Stern got a bunch of fans to vote in the NY LP primary and got to be their candidate, one year back in the 90s. Then he dropped out because he didn’t want to disclose his finances (an electoral requirement).

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