Separated at Birth? (Harriet Miers Edition)

Because no coverage glut would be complete without a cheap visual joke, reader Pritesh Patel notes the uncanny resemblance of Bush's new Supreme Court nominee to Darrin Stephens' mother from Bewitched:

Comments

[josh]

I think she looks more like Emperor Palpatine.

[Born Again Iconoclast]

Mmmmm, don’t see it. As a TV reference, I’m thinking more Cindy Williams, twenty years from now.

By the way, I hope they tell her to lose the “Granny Goth” eye liner …

[sage]

Why don’t witches wear underwear?

Gives them a better grip on their broom.

[Jennifer]

BAI beat me to the punch. You need to lay off the eye makeup once you reach the age where it doesn’t outline your eyes, but the lines surrounding them.

[Matt]

jaundiced raven who just devoured a raspberry tart…

[Hessian]

I’d say that Bush has a crush on Angela Merkel.
http://images.google.com/images?q=Angela+Merkel&hl=en

[B.D.]

I dunno, Barbara Bush never gave up her blue hair.

[scape]

The makeup and smile reminded me of Uncle Fester with a bad wig.

[Crushinator]

I doubt they will find any recent sexual scandals in her personal history.

The photo illustrates why she was selected by Bush. She is not only loyal to him – she worships the man. She said that Bush is the most intelligent man she ever met. Either she has not met very many men or she is a terrible judge of intelligence.

[linguist]

Yeah, she needs an image consultant. Bad hair, and bad eyeliner. Maybe she could hire Janet Reno’s consultant?

Cuz that’s what’s important in a Supreme Court judge.

[Eric the .5b]

Is it really much of a visual joke if you’re referencing such a minor character as Darrin’s mother? 😉

[Jennifer]

Linguist–

No, hair and makeup don’t really matter, but on the other hand it creeps me out to see a 60-year-old woman wearing makeup more suitable for a 20-year-old hooker with low self-esteem.

Same way clothing doesn’t really matter, but I’d still be concerned if a Supreme Court nominee went around dressing like Erin Brockovich.

[Jennifer]

Linguist–

No, hair and makeup don’t really matter, but on the other hand it creeps me out to see a 60-year-old woman wearing makeup more suitable for a 20-year-old hooker with low self-esteem.

Same way clothing doesn’t really matter, but I’d still be concerned if a Supreme Court nominee went around dressing like Erin Brockovich.

[Jennifer]

“Hey there, sailor. Wanna reform my torts?”

[Jason]

That is an improper use of apostrophe on “Stephens.” Stephens is not plural and therefore requires an additional s after the apostrophe.

[Eric the .5b]

“Hey there, sailor. Wanna reform my torts?”

When men aren’t working hard enough to tear women down, women pick up the slack. 😉

[linguist]

Jennifer,

Yeah, I know. I’m just being contrarian. When I saw her face (way too early this morning) I was somewhat apalled by the eyeliner too. Then I felt bad about being appalled. What’s a girl to do?

[Jennifer]

What’s a girl to do, Linguist? Fuck P.C. and make fun of a sixty-year-old bat who models herself after a 20-year-old bimbo.

My rule concerning insulting appearances is this: I won’t make fun of something you can’t help. So you won’t catch me insulting someone with a harelip, or a birthmark, or someone who’s just plain ugly. But I WILL insult someone who inflicted her ugliness upon herself. And I think there’s something fucked up about a geriatric babe trying to tart herself up like Britney Spears.

And that last remark was unfair to Britney, who does at least achieve some level of attractiveness when she applies her eye makeup with a shovel.

[Jon H]

No way, she’s Amy Sedaris as Jeri Blankley, from Strangers With Candy.

[Eric the .5b]

What’s a girl to do, Linguist? Fuck P.C. and make fun of a sixty-year-old bat who models herself after a 20-year-old bimbo.

Or maybe she just puts too much eyeliner on. I just find it funny that most men won’t even notice bad makeup on an older woman, while women just go nuts…

[Jon H]

I mean, come on, she’s Jeri!

[smacky]

No way, she’s Amy Sedaris as Jeri Blankley, from Strangers With Candy.

Bingo! Jon H nailed it. I was wondering where I saw that face before — (on Comedy Central).

[Jennifer]

Or maybe she just puts too much eyeliner on.

Oh, I agree, this is not big deal, and certainly not on a par with raping babies or anything. But at the same time I can’t help but wonder–if she shows such bad judgment over something as minor as this, how will she judge the big things?

It’s akin to somebody picking their nose at public functions. This is neither illegal nor immoral, but at the same time I wouldn’t want somebody that damned clueless to have any sort of power over me.

[Eric the .5b]

But at the same time I can’t help but wonder–if she shows such bad judgment over something as minor as this, how will she judge the big things?

No telling. Which is the point – it’s really not sensible to make such crucial evaluations from one zoomed-in picture of someone’s makeup.

I’m all for propriety and proper appearance, but when I read things like “It’s akin to somebody picking their nose at public functions” as a response to somewhat thick eyeliner, the less objectionable her makeup appears to me, and the more inexplicable reactions like yours strike me.

[Jennifer]

Eric-

It’s all about age-appropriateness. Same way an outfit that looks normal on a twenty-year-old looks insane on a sixty-year-old. Apparently, this woman woke up this morning and came to the conclusion that a quarter-inch-thick black halo around each eye would add to her attractiveness.

And the first person on this thread to note the makeup was BAI who is, I believe, male.

[Jennifer]

I’m seriously wondering what would have happened if I wore such thick makeup when I interviewed for my current job. No, my eye makeup has no bearing on how well I perform my tasks. And yet. . . .

[paul]

lighten up jennifer. no one dogpiled your pics a couple of weeks ago.

[Mr. F. Le Mur]

Eric the .5b: Is it really much of a visual joke if you’re referencing such a minor character as Darrin’s mother? 😉

Yes, indeed, because Darrin’s mother is also the mother of the world’s greatest county clerk, Howard Sprague.

[joe]

Stupid server ate my comment.

Maybe she’s just made up for the camera. The amount of eyeliner, rouge, and base you need to look normal on stage (or soundstage) with lighting, at a distance, through the camera et al. makes you look freakish in person.

[Eric the .5b]

And it also might just be a bad picture.

[Eric the .5b]

Yes, indeed, because Darrin’s mother is also the mother of the world’s greatest county clerk, Howard Sprague.

Alas, I miss the reference.

[Ira Weatheral]

From the Andy Griffith show, if I’m not mistaken.

[Eric the .5b]

And the first person on this thread to note the makeup was BAI who is, I believe, male.

BAI did not make several posts about the makeup and argue that it meant that she was unfit to be a Justice.

Jennifer, maybe you’re right. Maybe her makeup is really that ridiculous, even in other pictures of her and different lighting (or even day-to-day). Maybe she wouldn’t be able to get a job wherever you work. Maybe it really does indicate that she’s bubble-headed and not capable of being a justice.

I’ve just absolutely never heard a guy focus so strongly on and react so much to a 60-year-old woman’s makeup. It absolutely takes a woman to go there.

[Eric the .5b]

From the Andy Griffith show, if I’m not mistaken.

Ahhh. I didn’t see as much of that one as a kid.

[mediageek]

I’ve just absolutely never heard a guy focus so strongly on and react so much to a 60-year-old woman’s makeup.

Because he’s busy checking out her daughter, or any other age-appropriate hotties that might be about.

[Stevo Darkly]

My advice on the eyeliner is that on the lower lids, she should restrict its use to the outer one-third or so of the eyelid only, then blend in.

I am not an expert cosmetiticianologist, or whatever, but I like to draw, and I like to draw chicks, and I like to draw chicks’ eyes, and from that eventually you learn a little bit about what looks good. You can also see this by examining the eyes of the attractive female characters in certain comic strips.

Heck, you can even see it in the “Jeri” photo that Jon H. linked. Full eyeliner on the top lid (except maybe the inner corner); on the lower lid, restricted to the outer third only. You want the eyes to look bigger, but not closer together. See how Jeri’s eyes actually look much better than Miers’? (That mouth, on the other hand …)

[mediageek]

I’ve just absolutely never heard a guy focus so strongly on and react so much to a 60-year-old woman’s makeup.

Because he’s busy checking out her daughter, or any other age-appropriate hotties that might be about.

This is also probably why old men can get away with wearing golf pants and old-man-driver-hats, because no ladies are checking them out.

[poco]

I wonder how long she’s been lining them like that (or worse, having them lined by someone else) — if she’s stuck in some aging-denial time warp.

[smacky]

Any chance that pic might be a bad Photoshop?

[Stevo Darkly]

Another pic.

And now I’m going to lay off. I’m starting to feeling like that snotty queeny Mr. Blackwell dude.

[Eric the .5b]

And now I’m going to lay off. I’m starting to feeling like that snotty queeny Mr. Blackwell dude.

Maybe I should have said “no straight guy” – but I’d never heard it from a gay guy, either. 😉

You know, we can definitely blame Bush for one thing – choosing someone with so little known about her legal views and judicial history that the only thing we can talk about IS her damned eyeliner…

[Stevo Darkly]

So, enough with the eyeliner. On to more substantial things.

If anyone finds photos on the Internet of Ms. Miers in lingerie, please let us know.

[Jennifer]

we can definitely blame Bush for one thing – choosing someone with so little known about her legal views and judicial history that the only thing we can talk about IS her damned eyeliner…

How true, how true. This is all I have to work with. And so I say again: I have reservations about a woman who wakes up and thinks “How can I best introduce myself to the nation as a competent, professional Supreme Court Justice nominee? I know! Hooker makeup!”

[Tom Crick]

I think it’s asinine for you guys to go on about what this woman looks like. I mean, here we are trying to get the rest of the world to take libertarians seriously, and you guys jump on this woman’s looks like a bunch of degenerate pubescent teens.

…and besides. If she looks like anyone, it’s Katie Couric–wrinkled and old like we all know Katie ‘ll be just a few years from now.

[Jennifer]

you guys jump on this woman’s looks like a bunch of degenerate pubescent teens

Not the woman’s looks–what she chose to do to them.

But I just noticed something odd. I did actually post comments here on topics other than this woman’s cosmetic choices–earlier today I made a comment to the effect of “If Bush is the most intelligent man she knows, she must not get out much.” And I see that comment is missing, with nothing remaining except the cosmetic comments.

I’m serious. And that is very, very odd.

[Stevo Darkly]

earlier today I made a comment to the effect of “If Bush is the most intelligent man she knows, she must not get out much.”

Jennifer, I remembered that one! But I found it on this thread. (4th comment.) Were you thinking of that one? Or did you post a similar comment on this thread too?

[Tom Crick]

I’m serious. And that is very, very odd.

Maybe it’s starting to happen already? …Maybe Princess Harriet sicced the web cops on Jennifer!

[Jennifer]

Oh, hell and damnation. Goddamned semi-pseudo-similar topic easy-to-post-in-the-wrong-goddamned threads.

So I never intended to post exclusively on the topic of eyeliner. But I did anyway.

She said that Bush is the most intelligent man she ever met. Either she has not met very many men or she is a terrible judge of intelligence.

See now, I thought I’d copied this bit of Crushinator’s comment and responded with a snide remark to the effect of this woman’s having a limited base of experience to judge by. Which matters more to me than her godawful hideous makeup (and I stand by that statement), but no. Wrong cut, wrong thread, and it’s too late to make such a comment now. The moment is gone.

And if y’all want to rag on my appearnace go right ahead–but I’ll pre-emptively point out that I wasn’t trying out for the job of eleven percent of one-third of the United States government–I just went out drinking with some like-minded people.

(Hint: if you do get rude, you’ll want to focus on that one profile shot taken after I’d been there for four hours, and had just smudged my eye makeup removing an errant lash. Down near the bottom of the page, I think. Anyone insulting this photograph gets to bring about the whole ironic justice angle, which can result in some real zingers if you’re creative enough.)

[Stevo Darkly]

It looks like this thread will garner at least 50 posts, maybe a hundred.

To keep it manageable, I suggest breaking this topic into two threads — one dedicated to commenting on the eyeliner of Miers’ left eye, and another thread for her right eye.

[Tom Crick]

You look great in those pictures Jennifer.

…but now the web cops know what you look like!

[Jennifer]

That isn’t what I look like at all. Pictures never look like me, which is why I don’t have them taken. Generally. Fuck it, I really do have to get some work done before quitting for the day.

And it’s not like I’m trying to single-handedly be three percent of the collective might of the United States government anyway.

[Stevo Darkly]

I suspect that no one with testicles to cherish will dare pick on Jennifer, and no one with eyes will do it on the basis of looks.

[brian0918]

She looks more like the corpse bride from Beetlejuice:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/94/Beetlejuice_scene.jpg

[junk]

She has the look of a smoker.

Why would bush put a 60 year old of the court. This doesn’t seem right something is weird here.

[paul]

jennifer, you know you were cappin’ on harriet’s looks. all i said was, he (or she) who is without sin, cast the first stone.

[Hakluyt]

Jennifer,

So I never intended to post exclusively on the topic of eyeliner. But I did anyway.

You know, there’s a syndrome that you may be afflicted by… 🙂

[Jon Hendry]

“Why would bush put a 60 year old of the court. This doesn’t seem right something is weird here.”

Maybe she has an unannounced terminal illness, and he’s doing his own “Make-A-Wish” thing, letting her be on the Supreme Court for her last months of life.

Hey, it makes as much sense as any other explanation.

[Jennifer]

you know you were cappin’ on harriet’s looks.

Don’t you

[Jennifer]

D’oh! Only “you” was to be italicized in that last post. Ah, the perils of pre-six a.m. HTML.