Before They Knock on Your Front Door

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Ever wonder what goes on inside the mind of a DEA agent? Speculate no more. Link via Radley Balko, who comments: "It's a weird mix of anti-Bushism, conservatism, paranoia, elitism, populism, and self-pity. The only constant theme seems to be drug war vigilance." I liked the Reporter Rating List myself, though in concept more than execution.

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  1. Those threads have even stranger posts than these.

  2. That ratings list says Dan Rather: Accuracy Assured.

  3. What is that article about Rice being humiliated in “genocidal” Ghana? Did I miss something?

  4. “whom all the world knows that Miss Rice is a homosexual”

    Whaaa?? Maybe I wasn’t invited to that meeting of “all the world” where this was decided….

  5. Why does that blog have 12 year olds writing for it?

  6. Yeah, that blog gave me terminal brainfever. Thanks a lot.

  7. StopTheDrugWar.org did a story on that site a while back – and it was REALLY FUCKING CREEPY.

    Not to worry, responded another post on the thread. While “inexpensive science has the potential of achieving what billions of dollars spent on law enforcement has failed to accomplish for decades” and “the next ‘Drug War’ we fight may be the war we fight to preserve our paychecks,” there is hope on the horizon — if agents play it smart:

    “That is why we need to get behind President Bush’s goal of outlawing all, repeat all, forms and reasons for abortion,” the poster suggested.

  8. “The writer is correct. Inexpensive science has the potential of achieving what billions of dollars spent on LE has failed to accomplish for decades. The next “Drug War” may be the war we fight to preserve our paychecks. That is why we need to get behind President Bush’s goal of outlawing all, repeat all, forms and reasons for abortion. With abortion, birth control (bc) pills and emergency bc outlawed a new, underground illegal drug industry will spring up overnight. This industry will be fueled by thousands of chemistry and pre-med majors making bc drugs and devices in their labs, garages and attics. Hundreds of thousands of pervert fathers and serial rapists who want to impregnate their daughters and/or as many women possible before getting caught won’t care about finally getting caught as long as they know they will leave behind dozens of rape-babies that the new Bush Abortion Laws will prohibit being aborted. Advocates of anti-abortion laws that include rape and incest pregnancies will say: “Even incest and rape babies are children that God wants.”

    Thousands of nurses will moonlight as abortionists. And almost every women’s gym, diet center and beauty salon will provide abortion services or referrals to their most loyal and trusted clients. The illegal abortion industry will do for DEA what cocaine and heroin never could because not everyone will use those two drugs… but everyone screws.”

    I don’t usually post quotes this long, but this one was too much. Scary stuff, and very telling, if true. Matt, please tell me that site is a fake being used as a Friday fun link.

  9. (then they go on to talk about eliminating RU-486, the illegal market that will spring up in morning after pills, banning contraception) (jesus fucking christ these people are monsters)

  10. Is that real? The bit where they’re hoping birth control gets banned so they can reposition the DEA and their bogus jobs as part of the War on Birth Control verges on parody, but if parody it’s good because it’s also completely plausible.

  11. To quote The Agitator
    “Granted, Internet message boards tend to bring out the whackos.”

    Cue awkward silence…

  12. I think the real question is, when these assholes kick down your front door, how ya gonna come? With your hands on your head or on the trigger of your gun?

  13. 2 points

    1. If these wackjobs hate Bush (who is probably going to sign the Patriot Act without blinking an eye), then what kind of person is going to make them happy?

    2. All those “if your innocent, you don’t have anything to fear” schmucks need to be forced to sit down and read this whole site. If the mindset of these freaks don’t change the minds of the “if your innocent crowd,” nothing will.

  14. No, I don’t think it is parody. There’s a whole speech in on if Rand’s books about how the Governemnt doesn’t want law-abiding citizens, but rather wants to make so many things illegal that citizens will have to break the law, and thus feel guilt.

  15. This has got to be a hoax. I know, I know – drug-warriors are by definition clueless but there is too much evidence of complete stupidity gathered in one place. I don’t buy it.

  16. Mr Strummer,

    Stop stealing my lyrics from beyond the grave.

  17. there is too much evidence of complete stupidity gathered in one place. I don’t buy it.

    I guess x-ray hasn’t been to free republic, daily kos, or democratic underground.

  18. Thanks Matt. My weekend is now ruined. 🙁

    This can’t be real can it?

  19. Ghana? Doesn’t he mean Sudan?

  20. “Ghana? Doesn’t he mean Sudan?”

    Maybe he’s on drugs…

  21. From the stopthedrugwar.org website:

    To be clear, this is only circumstantial evidence. The web site, DEA Watch, operated by former federal agent Phill Coleman, allows posters to post comments anonymously, so the actual identities of the posters cannot be verified.

  22. The hall of shame is pretty entertaining. A fine critique of Hillary. Mighty fine.

  23. “Granted, Internet message boards tend to bring out the whackos.”

    Cue awkward silence…

    I had the same thoughts.

    Did anyone else catch this:

    Question: Why do men get fat?

    Answer: Men get fat because they hate their wives for being able to do something they can’t: get pregnant. Men get fat so they can, at least, look like they’re pregnant.

    WTF!?!?!?!

  24. This was the most disturbing I read …

    We all know that it was Michelle who masterminded the crack cure… but that was a primarily black community sin happening during the Clinton Admin when Mike was more black than white… but now that Bush is in the WH and Mike is being more white than black I’m not so sure that Mike’s white half is up to taking on the meth problem. So far we’ve been totally powerless to effectively tackle meth because there is no central crime cartel or organization leading it. In fact, all of the organized crime family’s are pi**ed because their heroin, marijuana and coke sales are fluctuating due to meth. We should use this opportunity to get organized crime on our side to eradicate meth. Being a problem common to us and the crime families, maybe we can work together. The feebs do it so why can’t we?

  25. Wow. Someone in the DEA has an old version of Microsoft Frontpage and isn’t afraid to use it!

    I love all the scorn they heap on the “tunnel rats” they snagged under the US/Canadian border. Yeah, another great pot bust. Go going, tough guys. Those potheads are totally stone-cold. Thanks for making this world safe from BC bud.

  26. “I guess x-ray hasn’t been to free republic, daily kos, or democratic underground.”

    In his own way, I think RC Dean just paid antiwar.com a great compliment.

  27. Tom, no mere human being could list every site that gathers so much stupidity in one place that it strains credulity.

  28. 1. If these wackjobs hate Bush (who is probably going to sign the Patriot Act without blinking an eye), then what kind of person is going to make them happy?

    I’d guess Howard Phillips, Roy Moore or somebody like that.

  29. The linked site is so bizarre that I almost think it might be “black propaganda” (there’s a wikipedia article on propoganda) produced by one of the many detractors of the DEA. On the other hand, maybe the writer is as spaced out as the DEA agent that shot himself in the leg during a classroom presentation. (search for that video online, it’s mind boggling) Put the DEA right under the ATF as agencies that need to go, with or without this raving loony working for them.

  30. Mike, how dare you insult the DEA. After all, that agent was the only one in that room knowledgable enough to handle the “Glock 40.”

  31. The DEA stuff is pretty out there, but it’s just believable enough. Check out the “NYPD Rant” site for a similar example of cop thinking. The impression I get from those sites is that cops hate everybody except other cops, and on top of that, they hate their own superiors, Internal Affairs, instructors, and anyone with a desk job. Cops (except for those sub-categories) are perfect and the rest of the world is idiots for not worshipping the ground cops walk on. (Oh, and check the NYPD Rant site for the charming ways cops refer to Black folks among themselves.) OK, so these boards are probably not 100% representative of the cop population – there are probably some Boy Scouts in there. But if they represent even a moderately small slice of the population…holy crap!

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