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Friday Fun Link

Matt Welch | 6.10.2005 6:17 PM

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A deconstruction of Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl." It's not necessary to know what that means.

Also, if you have a weakness for that type of humor, try this link; scroll down to the third song first if you're a harder sell. (Hollaback link via Dr. Frank's Suicide Girls music-blog thingie.)

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Matt Welch is an editor at large at Reason.

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  1. Jim Walsh   20 years ago

    I hate to sound like some old fart who can't appreciate the younger generation, but will somebody please explain the Gwen Stefani thing to me?

    I realize I'm not exactly part of her target demographic, but reeeeaaaaaaly...

    I caught her the other night on the Kimmel show, and was not impressed. Catchy tune, some cutesy cheerleader choreography (a la Toni Basil's Mickey but nowhere near as inventive), a lot of posturing and attitude, and that's...about...it.

    There are some current (or recurrent) acts I like: Alicia Keys is sexy and can actually sing a little. I really liked Norah Jones from a couple of years back. Joss Stone does the retro-soul thing fairly convincingly. I also like bands like Coldplay and Green Day.

    Hell, I even think Eminem has his moments...

    But Stefani eludes me. She's like the musical version of the old joke about Oakland: there's no there there!

    And the remake of It's My Life sucked...OK?

    Oh well...at least she ain't Pink. Whatever happened to her, anyway?

  2. Lavender's Publicist   20 years ago

    Pink switched from a lesbian Democrat to a lesbian Republican and had to change her name to Lavender.

  3. Rhywun   20 years ago

    And the remake of It's My Life sucked...OK?

    Ohhh that pissed me off so much when I heard it! She took a punchy New Wave classic and turned it into a bland, middle-of-the-road turd. I don't know how they do it, but No Doubt manage to combine elements of punk, pop and ska in the most uninteresting way possible.

  4. Kevin   20 years ago

    If this is what passes for Top 40 these days, I say bring back A Flock of Seagulls, Tommy Tutone and The Knack. Really? It's been done? Cool!

  5. the regulator   20 years ago

    I'm proud to say that my 14 month old son said the word "banana" to the tv during this video. He never said it before, and hasn't said it since.
    Of course IMF plays the tame version.

  6. stubby   20 years ago

    Amen, brother Jim, amen.

    There's something about her voice that has repulsed me since the first No Doubt song hit the airwaves. I can't stand to listen to or look at her. She makes Madonna look like a Serious Chanteuse. And, God help us, Madonna aged more gracefully than this bimbo as well.

  7. Rick Barton   20 years ago

    I say bring back A Flock of Seagulls, Tommy Tutone and The Knack.

    Hear Hear!

  8. scape   20 years ago

    somebody please explain the Gwen Stefani thing

    I think you already did. Catchy tune + posturing and attitude is about it. That, luck and good marketing seem to be what it takes to reach the Top 40 (nothing new there). But I think Alicia Keys, Norah Jones, Joss Stone, Coldplay, Green Day, and Eminem use the same formula, just with different musical styles. Maybe it's the kooky lyrics, cheerleader vocals and cartoonish clothing that sink Stefani lower than the others. The others seem more - this doesn't sound right, but - mature?

  9. Stevo Darkly   20 years ago

    Hey, skimming through McSweeney's, I found a list that might be appreciated by some folks around here:

    FROM THE PROG ROCK ICE CREAM SHOPPE: FLAVORS INSPIRED BY A CERTAIN
    CANADIAN POWER TRIO.
    By Matt Bull

    Vanilla Strangiato

    A Rocky Road to Bangkok

    Chocolate Chip Xanadough

    By-Tor and the Sno-gurt

    Cookie 'n' Red Barchetta

    Cygnus X1 Book: Fudge

    New World Mango

    Limelight Sorbet

    Distant Early Praline

    Tom Soy

    http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/5/6lists.html

  10. Rickey Ramone   20 years ago

    At least Gwen is more fun to look at than the exercise ad man.

    Rick Barton

    (Using my Friday Fun Screen Name)

  11. Phil   20 years ago

    In defense of the "It's My Life" remake, what's-his-name's bass playing on it is tight as hell, and quite punchy. Even though I've never been into No Doubt's music at all, their rhythm section is really, really tight. "Simple Kind Of Life" wasn't a bad song, either, come to think of it.

  12. Lazlo   20 years ago

    Aaah, Flock Of Seagulls. "Listen" is out on CD with bonus tracks and all is right with the world as long as I don't get any farther away from my iPod than the length of the cord on the earbuds. Now remaster the first album, dammit!

    Agreed on the No Doubt "It's My Life" bass playing, but also on the blandness of the rest of the arrangement. A solid attempt, but it's no Korn cover of Cameo's "Word Up".

  13. tom   20 years ago

    i thought "ain't no holla back girl" meant she wouldn't reply to informal male advances. she started hanging out with e-v-e and tries to act ghetto now. it's weird. i never liked her voice, either.

  14. Rhywun   20 years ago

    Well, to be honest, I didn't notice the bass or the rhythm section on "It's My Life", as the whole concept of No Doubt covering Talk Talk offended me to my core, and I couldn't pay THAT much attention.

  15. Shem   20 years ago

    I'm waiting for Gaius to come in and say that her refusal to "hollaback" is an sign of our society's decay into hyperindivdualism.;)

  16. matt   20 years ago

    "I don't know how they do it, but No Doubt manage to combine elements of punk, pop and ska in the most uninteresting way possible."

    I think Tragic Kingdom was pretty good, Rhywun, but since that it's been downhill. Hell, I think the best song she's ever done is a semi-obscure duet with the late, great Bradley Nowell of Sublime called "Saw Red."

  17. Rickey Ramone   20 years ago

    I'm waiting for Gaius to come in and say that her refusal to "hollaback" is an sign of our society's decay into hyperindivdualism.;)

    If our society actually started trending toward hyperindivdualism, it certainly wouldn't be a "decay", especially with the smothering growth of the state that we've witnessed.

    Rick Barton

    (Using my Friday Fun Screen Name)

  18. Shem   20 years ago

    Yeah well, that's our Gaius for you.

  19. kwais   20 years ago

    Shem
    "I'm waiting for Gaius to come in and say that her refusal to "hollaback" is an sign of our society's decay into hyperindivdualism.;)"

    The fact that y'all are commenting about Gwen Stefani, instead of reading about the life and times of Julius Ceasar, or something, indicates that you are all a symptom of the culturally selfish decline of what could be a great civilization.

    Rickey Ramone, I would agree with you on that, but that is only because me and you haven't read the all the obscure roman liturature from roman times, five times over.

    Apparently the idea that the hoi polloi can live without being protected from their own ill informed desires, is a clear prelude to the end of civilization. If you had read Maximus Arelius's musings seven times that would be clear to you.

    (the fact that the only Roman names that I know are Julius Ceasar, and the fake dude from 'Gladiator', are also a sighn that society will collaps)

  20. kwais   20 years ago

    I like most of Gwen Stefani's crap.

    But then there is a chance that I am tone deaf.

    So Jim Walsh, from a possibly tone deaf person.
    Eminem sucks
    Alicia Keys is OK but only a few of her songs
    Coldplay sucks
    Green Day sucks
    Never heard of Norah Jones or Joss Stone

    Pink is OK, some of her stuff is.

  21. Shem   20 years ago

    Mmm, why do I get the feeling that what was supposed to be a lighthearted jest about the foibles of a person I respect (if usually disagree with) has turned into an excuse for personal attacks?

  22. Imagery   20 years ago

    Because Gwen Stefani sucks, and we hate her. Alot.

  23. Shem   20 years ago

    I'm not exactly running fansites for her myself. I was referring to Gaius.

  24. Phil   20 years ago

    I don't have any of gaius's albums, so it's hard for me to say.

  25. CAT_Violations   20 years ago

    I finally found an acceptable explanation for what a "Holla Back" girl is on G4 TechTV the other night. It was on the show where the blonde with the nosering, the brunette, and the various guys review and discuss games and tech.

    They alleged that a "Holla Back" girl is a girl that responds to 2AM communications from men interested in sex. The proverbial "Booty Call", if you will. So "I ain't no Holla Back" girl implies that she is not one to respond to late night solicitations for sex. It is uncertain whether early evening or mid-afternoon solicitations would meet with a similar response.

    Some of her and No Doubt's stuff is pretty good. Plus she is really toned.

    That is all.

  26. kwais   20 years ago

    She does have a nice stomach, even if her boobs are too small.

  27. kwais   20 years ago

    What is a CAT violation (I am guessing that you CAT isn't for Counter Assault Team, but it could be I guess)

  28. CAT_Violations   20 years ago

    kwais-

    "CAT_Violations" is short for "Convention Against Torture Violations". It's my way of trying to constantly slip a little opposition to the slide along the slippery slope of human, civil, Constitutional, and private property rights violations that the current management seems bent on.

    I know from other threads that you're military or ex-military. ("sniper school" gave it away) Just wanted to mention that I support our troops, I just think they are being horribly misused and abused by our policies and being put in very difficult, almost no-win, situations.

    Re: Gwen Stefani, I'm equal opportunity in the breast department, as long as they're shaped nicely. And she has so little body fat she'd probably have to get big fake ones, IMO that probably wouldn't look right on her taut, svelt frame.

  29. SP   20 years ago

    Gwen Stefani was all right back when she was just a girl in a pop-rock band. When she started traipsing into ghetto fab territory and tried to rework her image with an urban-chic twist, that's when it got goofy.

    "Hollaback Girl" is idiotic; "Spiderwebs," by contrast, stands as one of the best singles of the '90s.

  30. Julian Sanchez   20 years ago

    Courtesy of the g/f, I learn that "I ain't no hollaback girl" is supposed do mean that, when insulted, she won't just stand there ineffectually shouting insults back. (If you've lived in a city for a few years, you've probably wandered by a pair of young women shouting angrily at each other, over each other, at the tops of their lungs and wondered: Jesus, when is one of them just going to hit the other already?)

  31. Eddy   20 years ago

    I had hollaback once, hurt like hell. Lucky for me a few trips to the chiropractor and a bottle of Scotch fixed it. I kinda feel sorry for Gwen given her hollaback condition. Yes, sadly it's true as when we expand the contraction "ain't" her statement reads "I ai not no hollaback girl" and clearly the double negation has an affirmative meaning. It is heartening that she doesn't let her condition interfere with her excretory bodily functions as is so common with hollaback due to damage to the rectal sphincter nerve.

    Julian, I'd wager that you have noticed those girls often have a posture where they lean forward at the waist, at least one hand on the hip, butt projecting out and torso curved noticably toward the back, as these are classic symptoms of hollaback. Often hearing loss is also associated to hollaback in addition to a heightened sense of incredulity, which is why you will often hear them shouting "Oh, no you didn't...!" The upside is that if caught early enough the condition is easily curable but sadly most people don't recognize the symptoms until it's too late. The reason, it seems, fewer men are aflicted is because of the apparent remedial properties of Scotch and since women generally possess less of a taste for this natural cure this leads to the classic characterization of those so aflicted as "hollaback girl."

  32. Mike_twincities   20 years ago

    Hollaback: A term invented by Gwen Stefani that dove corporate-music types wild with visions of dollar signs.

    Pure crap. Anything that passes for "music" these days is crap.

    The only thing I listen to anymore is Faith No More on my MP3 player.

    Kill your radio.

  33. Jim Walsh   20 years ago

    I don't know how they do it, but No Doubt manage to combine elements of punk, pop and ska in the most uninteresting way possible.

    I know. It's kinda like the Grateful Dead: you have to ask how a band with such a wonderfully rich mix of musical influences can still sound as tedious as the Dead...

  34. mediageek   20 years ago

    [quote]Kill your radio.[/quote]

    Long live streaming internet broadcast!

    As for Gwen Stefani, I have to concur with the above posters. Her fame can be summed up in one word:

    midriff.

  35. Ain't No Fecalphile, Girl...   20 years ago

    Uh huh, this my shit
    Gwen is introducing us to her shit.

    Uh, thanks but no thanks...

  36. CAT_Violations   20 years ago

    Julian-

    Did your girlfriend mention a source?

    On "Attack of the Show" I think someone mentioned that they got their definition from an interview with her. Not that it matters much. But it's so strange and has become so pervasive that one is sort of driven to find out the original meaning.

  37. Rickey Ramone   20 years ago

    kwais,

    Are you saying that we have the smothering growth of the state because we haven't read the all the obscure roman liturature five times over? Like maybe, Cato?

    Rick Barton

    (Using my Friday Fun Screen Name)

  38. kwais   20 years ago

    CAT Violations,
    Cool about the name.
    I don't think the military is being missused, I think that it is doing its job. And I think the abuses that you hear about in Abu Ghraib and such are cases where discipline was not enforced. In other words I see things a little differently than most the other posters on this site.

    But I am sure we can discuss those two items in many following threads, as threads with those subject matter are not uncommon here.

    Rickey Ramone,
    What who?...what? what? Um yeah, I think. I was trying to do a Gaius Marius impression, much to the consternation of Shem, who brought the subject up.

    I think my brain is only working at half speed tonight, I think many of my brain cells were baked in the hot sun today.

  39. chthus   20 years ago

    Those above who dislike Pink may wish to slip a pair of adult diapers on, as she will soon be playing Janis Joplin on the big screen.

  40. CAT_Violations   20 years ago

    kwais-

    I think the military is doing its job. But I think it is being ordered to do jobs it was never meant to do in ways and for time periods it was never designed for. I also think Abu Ghraib and some similar incidents were ordered - there are several accounts of military police being ordered to "soften" prisoners up. I think some line soldiers deserve some of the blame, but I think the bulk of the blame should roll uphill. In any case I'm glad we can discuss issues like these civilly.

  41. smacky   20 years ago

    I was displeased to hear that Gwen got a cameo role in "Howard Hughes". Thankfully, it was a short appearance with few lines.

    One of my best friends in highschool was adamant that Gwen is a transvestite. You didn't hear it from me, though.

    She took a punchy New Wave classic and turned it into a bland, middle-of-the-road turd.

    Hey, that's her shit. Didn't you hear her the first 20 times?

    Lazlo and Phil,

    The reason the bass line is so good in No Doubt's rendition of "It's My Life" is because it isn't theirs. They just copied the bassline from the original song. I would understand if you compliment the mixing of the song such that the bassline was so prominent in the remix, but don't attribute the good bass work to No Doubt's bassist. It doesn't take very much talent to mimic.

    Stevo,

    Like the Rush ice cream flavors. I could go for some Distant Early Praline.

  42. wellfellow   20 years ago

    I have to be honest. Despite the crappy music, I'm all about Gwen. I'm sorry. She's cute as hell and has an exquisite chin! She sucks, musically, but she doesn't make any pretense that she's a virtuoso, so it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

  43. Stevo Darkly   20 years ago

    Gwen Stefani looks like Madonna's younger sister. Other than that, I have no opinion.

  44. Jaybee   20 years ago

    Gwen Stefani is about as talented as diarrhea. Hollaback girl talks about bananas. Why in the fuck? It's a moronic goddamn song, and Stefani needs to be hung from the nearest tree for polluting the airwaves with her talk of shit and bannans. "The song is so shitty. S H I T T T Y" I know there's an extra T in there, but hey, it goes to the beat rather well. I'm so glad she can spell, by the way. She's probably teaching that retard husband Gavin Rosdale how to spell through music. That's fine, but can she leave the rest of us out of it?

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