The Devil Bat

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Before the skies were buzzing with anal-probing Greys, there was Popo Bawa, described by Reuters as "the most feared spirit-monster of the Zanzibar spice islands." William Maclean reports:

Vacationers on the Indian Ocean islands tend to smile dismissively at accounts in guidebooks of the bat-like ogre said to prey on men, women and children. But for superstitious Zanzibaris a visit from the sodomizing gremlin is no joke.

Although no one ever has seen it, belief in the monster and his unnatural lust is so strong that entire villages will sleep out of doors for protection: Popo Bawa (Swahili for Bat's Wing) prefers to attack behind closed doors at night.

In huts set amid rustling groves of jackfruit and mangoes on Zanzibar's Pemba island, victims told Reuters in interviews that they detected a bad smell, became cold and went into a trance in the moments before they felt the creature's inhuman strength.

Like Karl Rove and Bob Shrum, the randy batman is especially active at election time—"a habit," Maclean writes, "that is testing nerves ahead of polls due in October."

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  1. Hynogogic hallucinations / sleep paralysis.

  2. Apologies if this doesn’t work.

  3. No images allowed?

    🙁

  4. Once upon a time, a man was attacked by a vampire bird
    He was sucked to death
    The vampire bird killed him at last

    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat

    The lake of fire tore his ass up
    He was burning to the crisp
    He was cast into the lake of burning flame

    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat

    After the vampire bird sucked blood out of me
    He started stabbing me in my ass
    Then three more vampire birds stabbed me in my ass too
    They sucked the blood out of me, killing me

    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat
    Vampire bat

    Rock over London, Rock on Chicago.
    Folgers: it’s good to the last drop.

    mediageek, let me guess: a picture of Batboy?

  5. Get thee behind me, Satan!

    Wait, strike that…

  6. No.
    Just a picture of Homer Simpson wielding a shotgun.

    http://www-atdp.berkeley.edu/1623/students/simon/shotgun.jpg

    So, is there a reference as to which HTML tags work here, and which don’t?

  7. “The sodomizing gremlin.”

    I thought we already discussed that guy from the FDA!

  8. That thing is not nearly as the fact that the folks who adminsiter Reason.com have stepped up their pop-up assault. I’ve been reading Reason since the early 90s and have had a subscription off and on for years. I was about to start it again, but not as long as that’s going on.

    There. Rant off. I feel better.

  9. From the linked article:

    “I couldn’t call out for help to my husband who was lying asleep beside me. Popo Bawa is strong: He really presses down on you. And it took such a long time: One hour! Eventually I lost consciousness. And I was one of many who were attacked.”

    Not to be the biggest pervert in the whole damn world or anything, but that’s kind of hot, in a weird non-consensual man-bat ass-raping kind of way. And one hour! Part of me wants to be Popo Bawa.

    Bear in mind that the woman’s experience was almost certainly some kind of fantasy and that she was not actually harmed.

    Nevertheless, I shall seek counseling.

  10. Stevo writes what others only dare think …

  11. I actually experience this hallucination/sleep paralysis thingy fairly frequently but I almost always realize it’s a dream. It happens when I’m half awake, half asleep and almost always in the morning, not nighttime; the dreams are very very realistic and in my case almost always scary – bad guys are in the house or creeping up on me or there’s a fire, etc. – I vaguely recollect that I’m sleeping, and I try to wake myself up, and it’s really hard to move. I can’t make any sounds either. I actually have to struggle for a while before I can wake up and move again. This woman’s experience sounds exactly like that.

    I only recently realized that this is a common, well-documented phenomenon. In fact, some sleep experts think it’s the root cause of many peoples’ belief that they’ve been kidnapped by aliens. Or, obviously, raped by demons.

    I keep waiting for one of these dreams to feature George Clooney creeping up on me, but so far nada.

  12. Like Karl Rove and Bob Shrum, the randy batman is especially active at election time — “a habit,” Maclean writes, “that is testing nerves ahead of polls due in October.”

    (Getting ready for the rim shot…)

    No wonder my ass was sore on November 3!

    Thank you! I’m here all week!

  13. “Hynogogic hallucinations / sleep paralysis.”

    Bah! You SKEPTICS think you have an answer for everything! These bat creatures obiviously are Grey genetic constructs OBTAINING genetic material FOR their human/alien hybridization projects. Humans with a high PSI rating are TARGETS for this collection EFFORT and have been SINCE the Roswell cover-up.

    SORRY, I have TO go, the Doctors SAY it’s time for my MEDS.

  14. Thank you Mr. Darkly. I think I just hurt myself laughing.

  15. (sounds of all kinds of stuff being knocked over in the dark)

    Shit!

  16. Shouldn’t that be “Akira McElwaine”?

    UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED.

  17. Popo Bawa! Indeed. As if there could be a bat that large interested in sex with humans! Preposterous! No reputable chiropterist could ever countenance such!

  18. I for one welcom our new ass raping bat demon overlords 🙂

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