NFL

More Whizzinator Product Placement (DC Edition)

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The geniuses behind The Original Whizzinator continue to set the pace in guerilla marketing. Fresh off the publicity of NFL running back Onterrio Smith getting stopped while packing dried urine and everyone's favorite prosthetic penis, the Whizz's makers are now heading to Washington, DC to appear before Congress:

Rep. Ed Whitfield, the Kentucky Republican who heads the House Energy and Commerce Committee's Oversight and Investigations panel, said he is determined to ban the phony phallus, which has been a boon to potheads everywhere. "It is a risk we simply cannot tolerate," Whitfield said in a statement. "This panel will uncover how widespread these products are and recommend the necessary steps to end their use."

Whole thing here. What's next? John Bolton declaiming the Whizzinator at the UN, beating one against a table while he talks?

NEXT: Journalistic "New Coke"

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  1. You can have it when you pry it from my cold, dead hands, Whitfield!

  2. Banning fake phalli? Are these people trying to turn the whole country into Alabama?

  3. John Bolton declaiming the Whizzinator at the UN, beating one against a table while he talks?

    You know, I’d pay to see that video clip.

  4. Remember that scene in “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels?”

  5. “House Energy and Commerce Committee’s Oversight and Investigations panel”

    What kind of self-important twit would want to be on that committee? Oh, never mind.

  6. I like how the prosthetics come in different varieties (jeez, I almost said flavors!), white, tan, Latino, brown, and black.

    I wonder if they are all the same size?

  7. Two thoughts:

    A: If Alabamastan can ban these fake phalli, who are we to argue with such inbred thinking?

    2: Will the Hildabeast be saddened by such a ban?

  8. John Bolton declaiming the Whizzinator at the UN, beating one against a table while he talks?

    We shall piss on you!

  9. “This panel will uncover how widespread these products are and recommend the necessary steps to end their use.”

    I suppose the odds that they will come up with the single effective way (ending the WoD) are effectively zero?

    <sigh>

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