Catch Me Now I'm Falling…

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As the post-election violence in Iraq continues, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld seems to be channeling Ray Davies of the Kinks by calling on Captain America and other superheroes to help turn the tide in Iraq.

Or at least boost morale with what sounds like just about the cheesiest comic book since Superman battled Muhammad Ali or Kiss took on Dr. Doom (no word yet if Rummy donated his own blood to the ink as the members of Kiss did for their super-special).

Then again, this might be a job for Bugs Bunny.

NEXT: Stripped of Her Identity

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  1. Can we get Eric Cartman on this?

  2. So, he invited a superhero whose “powers” were derived from steroid use*? Rather incongruent given the recent jock sniffing nonsense, doncha think?

    *“super soldier serum” my right ass cheek

  3. Is that Warwick Davis in the Spiderman costume? Even Allison Barber looks to be half a head taller than him.

  4. I saw a near-mint copy of the Superman/Ali book at Silver Snail comics in Toronto last week. You don’t get to see them in captivity often.

  5. It’s amazing how quickly Ali went from villian to hero in popular culture.

  6. Ranger:
    It’s much more than steroid use, the super soldier serum used on Steve Rogers was full-blown human enhancement. If that doesn’t get the bio-conservatives up in arms, the cloning of Spider Man and his ex-girlfriend Gwen certainly should.

    Will the U.S. liberate Latveria?

  7. It’s much more than steroid use, the super soldier serum used on Steve Rogers was full-blown human enhancement.

    That’s right! Dang, my Cap mythology is off these days. He underwent all kinds of happy bio-engineered cocktails to beat back the Nazis. All that for his country and these days he wouldn’t be allowed to play baseball!

    Ugh, the Spider Clones, *quotes Simpsons* “Worst Storyline EVER”.


  8. Ooh Superman where are you now
    When everything’s gone wrong somehow
    The men of steel, the men of power
    Are losing control by the hour.

  9. Will the U.S. liberate Latveria?

    What about Free Genosha?? I mean, we all know that Magneto has professed his desire for mass genocide of all non-mutants! Plus, he IS a WMD!

  10. Well, that’s the thing. Everytime you invade a Middle Eastern country, you end up needing a superhero or something. Goddamn. Old Rumsfeld.

  11. And we’re sure this isn’t a really good hack of DoD’s website?

  12. Later today, McGruff will be dropping by to explain how you can help, uh, take a bite out of internaltional jihadism.

  13. I’m sure the soldiers who have seen their buddies blown up by IEDs will feel their moral and spirits soar now that there’s a comic book supporting them.

  14. Sgt. Rock not available?

  15. Journalist: You do know that superheroes are imaginary, don’t you?

    Rumsfeld (rolling his eyes in exasperation): Look, this is merely one of those unknowns that are known, as opposed to the knowns that are known and the unknowns that are unknown. Next question!

  16. Would have been great if Rumsfeld had snatched Spiderman’s mask off to reveal his true identity…

    I also want to see Gov’t employees in S.H.I.E.L.D. tights.

  17. joe,
    Ali was a hero as far back as I can remember (back in the 70s) when there was a Saturday morning cartoon with him in it, and he was definitely portrayed as a hero in the Ali vs. Superman story. (It was a “heroes forced by unwieldy plot devices to fight one another before teaming up to defeat alien menace” storyline.)

    Now that you’re back, you might want to check on this thread:

    https://www.reason.com/hitandrun/2005/04/thank_you_saud.shtml#comments

  18. I’m apparently just not old enough to recall the flap over his conversion and the refusal to be inducted into the military.

    http://espn.go.com/classic/biography/s/Ali_Muhammad.html

  19. Damn, rob, you really are a pathetic individual. Get a life! BTW, I haven’t gone anywhere.

    He has several posts at the end of an old thread that dropped off the page, which he refers to as a “joe apology watch.” You see, I didn’t apologize for, uh, disagreeing with him. So the reasonable thing to do, obviously, is to obessively count the days since my last post.

    rob, I’m not laughing with you. I’m laughing at you.

  20. Wow, your last post is more of the same. I’m not asking for an apology because you disagree with me. I don’t mind disagreement at all – people who discuss their disagreements fairly broaden the understanding of both participants. (Who comments here expecting EVERYONE will agree with them?)

    I’m asking for an apology for lying about what I’ve said. Those tactics don’t fulfill the purpose of a discussion, they’re just sneaky and pathetic.

    Just admit it: You’ll say anything to avoid responding to my request that you either find an example of what you claim I said or apologize for grossly mis-representing my position. (Ok, let’s call it what it was – you were lying.)

    Just admit that your #1 tactic is to jump to another thread to avoid getting pinged for your incredibly craptastic statements on the thread you started on. (To call them arguments would be to dignify your statements – akin to trying to polish a turd).

    Your other tactics are pretty despicable as well, the mis-representation of other people’s points, the name-calling, the snide remarks,and (most laughably) insinuating that they just aren’t as smart as you or they’d agree with you.

    I’ll take what you claim is pathetic – calling you out for what you are – over your brand. When you start calling other people names, do you ever suspect that you’re actually describing yourself?

    BTW, Since my comments came at least a day before the last comments by other posters, I think it’s fair to say that you cut and ran once again.

    I don’t suppose I’m going to get an apology – or even a coherent response from you. But I’m pretty sure that most folks here will realize that your failure to respond is not for any reason other than your inability to do so. Put up or shut up.

  21. As far as Cap being a steroid-case, hell, man, there was a war on! `Course, the U.S. wasn’t in it yet, but FDR knew it was just a matter of time.

    Marvel actually ran a story-arc (late 80s, early 90s?) where Steve Rogers was told that the super-soldier serum needed a “booster shot”, but, in solidarity with the WoSDs, he went without it, and supposedly trained himself up to Star-Spangled Avenger level without the drug. It seemed utterly ridiculous to me, even in light of comic book “biology”.

    Now, don’t get me started on “Vita-Rays.”

    Kevin

  22. Hey, those Vita-Rays are what made me into the Super Soldier I am today – no steroids required! ;>

    And besides, the Super Soldier Serum genetically enhances a person to their greatest potential. It’s gene therapy, not steroids…

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