Love Pinkertons

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Japan is a strange place, chapter CDXLVII:

Fukuenya, which literally translates as "professionals who restore relations," have apparently become an established part of the services offered by growing numbers of private investigation agencies across Japan.

"Most of our work involves investigating extramarital affairs. About three or four years ago, more people who had asked us to investigate a cheating partner would begin offering to pay if we could break up the partner's relationship. That was the beginning of the wakaresaseya (partnership breaker) business," Ryuhei Misawa, head of the FAX detective agency, tells Shukan Taishu. "Now, though, people are asking us to help them get back with partners they had previously split up with and then employed us to separate from another person they had hooked up with. That's what led to the creation of the fukuenya business."

One female fukuenya reports that "Depending on the situation, I will sleep with a man if it means getting him away from a woman who is the target of our work. Of course, the job doesn't require me to do that. But if I decide that's the best way to get the job done properly, I'll do it. And I'll be happy to do so if it means that I'll be able to get a divided couple back together again."

[Via Jim Henley.]

NEXT: It's So Over, Volume XXVII

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  1. It is very unlikely to meet prospective partners without having been intorduced by some third party, generally aquantances. So some entrepenuerial types offer their services on the street by accepting a fee to introduce a fellow to a woman that catches his fancy.
    Television has to be seen to be believed.
    They weren’t exagerating much when the Simpson’s went to Japan.

  2. i wonder if this has any potential in the u.s.

  3. They weren’t exagerating much when the Simpson’s went to Japan.

    I think it’s impossible to exaggerate Japan. It really is 100% Super Crazy!

  4. They weren’t exagerating much when the Simpson’s went to Japan.

    “I am pleased to accept your waste!”

  5. Japanese penis so small; American penis very big!

  6. I need to go to Japan, big time. I love the quirky (to me, anyway) culture and they’re so into techy things, which I am too. The women are beautiful in my eyes, and does anyone remember hearing about how young Japanese people aren’t hooking up very much for marriage or sex? Apparently a lot of the guys are momma’s boys (not that we don’t have that phenomenon here, to an extent) and the women are becomming so much more independant (a big deal in the culture, I guess). I’m thinking there could be the possibility for a lot of action, know what I mean, know what I mean? 😉 😉 nudge, nudge!

  7. Christ, did anyone read the bizarro headlines on the sidebar? Japan is like Federico Fellini’s wet dream.

  8. SPD, man you aren’t kidding!

    – Ladies look to little pricks to fill them full of goodness (about IV drip vitamins!)

    -Raunchy ring masters make final crack at bums on seats

    -Japan messes up with potty training

    -Doggy style dames dress to the canines

    -Girls get to the bottom of downy derrieres

    -Offended defense professor gets defensive over professed offensive offence

    Wow, I’m dizzy.

  9. I’d like to see a sort of ‘Iron Chef’ version of this fukuenya thing.

  10. Though I would also say the ‘fukuenya’ was something like how I felt after hearing ‘Orinoco Flow’ 30 times.

  11. SPD – actually, Japan seems like a wet dream for me! They’re talking about all the promiscuous wives over there, geisha girls, “massage” parlours. What’s not to love?

  12. Though I would also say the ‘fukuenya’ was something like how I felt after hearing ‘Orinoco Flow’ 30 times.

    You forgot to tell us you’ll be here all week.

  13. Love is a many splintered thing.

  14. Did anyone else notice the top headline in the box left of the link story?!

    “Ladies look to little pricks to fill them full of goodness”

  15. OH, I guess you guys did see it. 🙂

  16. This is awsome. I was just thinking the other day about this same concept. I wondered if It would be possible to hire a woman to go *&^$ my ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend and then let her find out about it. Damn I’m pathetic.

  17. C’mon, Jason, you can’t fool us with your “apparently all pixelated” dodge. You know damn good and well that the critical bits are pixelated, from first hand (so to speak) experience.

  18. Jason – thanks for all the info! Basically, you’ve confirmed what’s made me want to go over there for a long time, and just making me want to go over there even more! Freaky? Hell yeah! Rock star with the Japanese ladies? Hell yeah! 🙂

    But I promise I would be very respectful. 🙂

  19. If you are white, you can be a rock star with the Japanese ladies. Every white guy looks like some movie or TV star. I was Michael J Fox. I assure you I look nothing like Mr. Fox

    I dunno, all white people look the damn same to me. My best friend had a similar experience as you Jason (with the added bonus of being contracted as Peter Pan at Tokyo Disney) and he said he was flinging woo like nobody’s business. He said that I should go because slight pigmentation would drive ’em nuts.

  20. “C’mon, Jason, you can’t fool us with your “apparently all pixelated” dodge. You know damn good and well that the critical bits are pixelated, from first hand (so to speak) experience.”

    Let me clarify. What I saw from the video store was definitely pixelated. The ‘apparently’ referred to the ‘all’ part of the sentence. I would not want to meet the man who sat through 75,000 pixelated pornos in two years.

  21. Lowdog:

    My advice. Go to the Kansai area (Osaka and surrounding) instead of the Kanto area (Tokyo and surrounding. There is this kind of East Japan vs. West Japan subculture conflict.

    Kansai people take pride in being less prudish than Kanto people. Also, two of the best places to see are in Kansai. You must go to Kyoto and you must go to Nara. Kyoto is the home of the maikosan, which is the only version of the geisha still actually around. You can see them walking around the tea houses. Thre are tons of amazing gardens and temples in Kyoto, too. If you can arrange it, go during early spring when the cherry blossoms are blooming. Japanese gardens with cherry blossoms in full bloom are … well, there isn’t much comparable.

    Note that geisha and maikosan are NOT PROSTITUTES. You can find those everywhere else. There is nooky available in any building with a pink sign, pretty much. Not that you would be confused when the ‘lady’ out in front of the pink place offers you a ‘fashion massage’ …

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