Fast Times at Claremont High

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Suddenly, American high schools are overflowing with intelligence—or with spies, anyway. When the undercover cops aren't on watch, the undercover writers are creeping around:

Not only did the new guy appear much older than most other Claremont High School students, the makeup caked on his face looked a little strange.

And from the start, Jeremy Hughes seemed a bit too interested in tracking down wild parties where he could find alcohol or drugs….

Months after the C-plus student donned his cap and gown to graduate with the Class of 2004, Hughes revealed in a TV interview that he was a 24-year-old Stanford graduate named Jeremy Iversen, who had gone undercover as a high school student in Southern California to research a novel….

Several students said that while they're looking forward to reading the book which is slated to be finished in late 2006 they have to laugh about his online claim that he was "totally accepted by students, teachers and parents alike."

"People would ask him all the time 'Are you a narc?'" said student Lauren Dorough, 16.

As for the "shocking truth" Iversen promises to deliver in the book, former classmate Martin said he wonders just how true to life it will be.

"Everyone just used to mess with him," Martin said. "People exaggerated all these stories."

Iversen's book, like his website, will presumably cover that possibility in its terms of use:

JIMedia does not represent or endorse the accuracy or reliability of any advice, opinion, statement, or other information displayed or distributed through JeremyIversen.com. You acknowledge that any reliance upon any such opinion, advice, statement, memorandum, or information shall be at your sole risk.

Our disclaimer-deploying sleuth bills himself as "smart, funny, hot…Generation Y's most exciting new talent."

[Via The Cardinal Collective.]

NEXT: Blood on the Dance Floor

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  1. I don’t get it: what’s with the makeup he wore? How would that help him if he’s trying to go “undercover”? Seems like it would make him stick out (like transvestites often do) and draw more attention to himself.

  2. Lahahahaha-oser!!

    And an arrogant one at that.

  3. How is legal for any of these imposters to be in the high schools in the first place? I don’t usually support over-protective parents, but if this guy was prowling around my kids’ parties, I’d have his kneecaps and thumbs. If I was one of the kids, I’d be looking to give the guy a serious beating.

  4. Wow. Reading that guy’s bio made me feel infinitely better about myself!

    I now have an example I can literally LINK TO for a demonstration of the difference between self-assurance and arrogance.

    Thanks Jesse!

  5. Funniest line from the guy’s bio: ?I’m thinking it would be tight to go on screen.?

    I’m keeping this guy’s name in the back of my mind to ensure I never pay for any production that has this mook’s name attached to it. (Thanks to Reason I’m getting multiple opportunities to use the word “mook” today as well.)

  6. “I’m thinking it would be tight to go on screen.”

    Why, that is smart, and funny. And hot!

    LOL

  7. This guy’s website gives me a headache.

    On the off chance that seize power, Mr. Iversen is now at the head of the list to be executed.

  8. wow, what a helmet.

    this guy has surely gone thru one of those Anthony Robbins “I’m gonna act like a giant cock all the time because it’s a proven formula for appealing to a certain superficial sub-group within which i can forever attain the status my vanity demands, and the only reason everybody else will hate me is because they’re pathetic losers who can’t stand my greatness” courses.

    I went to school with a dude who did that, and now he has a business selling some kind of goatee/cigar/martini/vegas/hooker weekend package deals for thousands of dollars. i don’t know if anybody’s ever actually paid money for this, but according to his website, half the free world has already signed up and made him a billionaire.

    This dick has the exact same vibe.

  9. i’m 25 and i don’t need to go back to high school to know what goes on.

  10. indpendent worm,

    I’m sensing a bit of an inferiority complex. “[A]ppealing to a certain superficial sub-group within which i can forever attain the status my vanity demands” is something you really want to do, isn’t it?

  11. And btw, Iverson looks like a total cake-boy.

  12. Cameron Crowe already did this about twenty-five years ago when he wrote the novel, and then the screenplay, for Fast Times at Ridgment High.

  13. Cameron Crowe already did this about twenty-five years ago when he wrote the novel, and then the screenplay, for Fast Times at Ridgment High.

    I suspect this book is an unwitting ripoff, not a conscious one. But who knows?

  14. He’s 24 and needs to go undercover as a student to research a novel about high school? Please! Anyone guess what his real motivation probably was? Yeah, and if he played guitar he’d be Jimmy Page…

  15. The school officials should be fired for not telling the school board what they’d agreed to until the school year ended. And if Iverson did indeed agree never to identify the school or any of its students in his writings, he’s going to have a hard time selling his novel to a reputable publisher based on the experience, his false claims of a six-figure deal notwithstanding.

  16. i’m 25 and i don’t need to go back to high school to know what goes on.

    I’m 30 and so do I. Couldn’t this prick have written the book from those memories, or at least not lifted his idea from Just One of the Guys or

  17. jesse- from the website:

    Jeremy just graduated from high school —
    Again.
    Undercover for the first time since Fast Times.

    so, at some point he must have found out about “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”.

  18. Don’t have time to read the article. Did he go by the name “Lando Griffin?” (Family Guy fans’ll recognize the reference..)

  19. Hey man, don’t hate. Jon Cryer pulled this off in ’87, why can’t this clown? Is the mob involved somehow? Did he only have to pull off his incredibly fake beard to appear like a high school student? C’mon, America wants to know!

  20. “Our students have learned that those in authority can and will use them at risk of humiliation and harm,’ she added. “Staff members have learned that their employer may use despicable means of observation, and the parents have learned that the school district at times does not have our students’ best interests at heart.’

    Wow, maybe this guy did provide a service: Showing that public school officials are self-serving assholes.

  21. clarityiniowa — toad licking would make this guy much more interesting, don’t you agree? 🙂

    What a looser. Someone should remind him of age of consent laws.

  22. This guy makes me wish Dems/Repubs would stop talking smack and really bring back the draft.

  23. “smart, funny, hot…Generation Y’s most exciting new talent.”

    Wow, he’s actually using Gen Y as a selling point. Gen X (the term) was unique, somewhat edgy and mysterious. I understand that we’ll be using this nomenclature for a little while, but Gen Y just seems like a wannabe, standing on the hunched shoulders of some fairly ineffectual Xers and saying “Look at me! I’m unintentionally unoriginal and superficially fabulous!”

    Yeah, maybe “Generation Y’s most exciting new talent” is an apt description after all.

  24. Stretch, the more commonly accepted term is “Millenial,” mostly because it has that same vainglorious “aren’t we just the best/first/most important to do anything” vibe that kids today seem to be picking up from their baby boomer parents. I’ve also always kind of thought it has a real communitarian feel to it as well, so it hits that angle too.

  25. Hmmmm, bet the swill he churns out is closer to this, than to Fast Times

    That film was Awesome. Totally Awesome.

  26. From the looks of Jeremy Hughes’ picture on his website if I had met this guy when I was in high school I would have kicked his ass.

    Is it worse to go back to high school to write a lousy book or to NARC kids out for the local cops???

  27. I wonder if Sandy Howdyshell approves…

  28. A face not even Michael Jackson could lick…

  29. Ridgemont High was actually based on Clairemont High, wonder if they are the same school…

  30. “Nothing that he would come up with would have any credulity,” board member Joan Presecan said.

    On the contrary, it sounds like he’s got credulity, in spades (as does the school board).

  31. On the plus side, the 80’s are making a comeback, and with them should come much better dance music.

  32. On the plus side, the 80’s are making a comeback, and with them should come much better dance music.

    I don’t know about “dance” music – do we need that? But the ’80’s were a colossally bad mix of big hair, big belts and bad music (with a few possible exceptions, such as my Beastie Boys reference above…) so I hope you’re wrong about that comeback. *shudder to think*

  33. I wonder if Sandy Howdyshell approves…

    She’ll buy the book, and use it to help her decide on the next education bond vote.

  34. On the plus side, the 80’s are making a comeback, and with them should come much better dance music.

    Perhaps I should be ashamed to admit this, but I just bought a CD because it had both “Der Komissar” and “Major Tom (Coming Home)” on it.

  35. Dave:

    I’m so with you, man. Kids have it hard enough as it is these days.. they don’t need adults infiltrating their world either to ruin their lives (narcs) or to sell stupid books (this case).

    If I found out a 24 year old guy, pretending to be a teenager, hung out and hit on my 15 year old step daughter, he would be going on a very, very long trip.

  36. the term to google is “electroclash.”

    god help you.

    or any of that rapture/lcd soundsystem/dfa stuff

  37. Also check out Interpol, Radio 4, Bloc Party, Franz Ferdinand and The Bravery.

    Oh yes, the eighties are back with a vengeance and not all of it is bad. In fact, I’m enjoying it a bit more the second time around because I’m not in high school and I have some money.

  38. I used to have a repeating nightmare that I was still in high school. Thank god those dreams stopped, I might have been driven insane for all I know.

    That someone would put themselves back into that scene voluntarily gives me the creeps.

  39. Stretch writes:

    Yeah, maybe “Generation Y’s most exciting new talent” is an apt description after all.

    No kidding! What have they done besides recycling disco?

    Not a tough crowd to top.

  40. Hi
    I will be going to chs. SOmethings the article doesn’t mention was that the super attendant did this after 33 schools rejected him going undercover. Why claremont, are small city. This is nothing like ridgemont high, sure we have partys and weed etc. but i doubt that this will be anything compared to ridgemont high… and what kids told the undercover guy were “over exaggerated”… Seriously. But i find it funny that chs has been picked, chs is for the most part a pretty boring school. If he really wanted a story, he should’ve gone to CDS where all the drug dealers/buyers, fights etc. are…

    i will read this book, but i think it puts a cloud around chs… and well, i think it’s bullshit that they let this guy into the school as a narc… i mean, alot of people knew he was a narc… but once this book is published, parents will be angry because they’ll know about chs’s…. drugs, partys, fights etc.

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