Justice of the Living Dead


A Kentucky teenager faces a "second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge" for … well, here's his side of the story:

Winchester police say William Poole, 18, was taken into custody Tuesday morning. Investigators say they discovered materials at Poole's home that outline possible acts of violence aimed at students, teachers, and police.

Poole told LEX 18 that the whole incident is a big misunderstanding. He claims that what his grandparents found in his journal and turned into police was a short story he wrote for English class.

"My story is based on fiction," said Poole, who faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge. "It's a fake story. I made it up. I've been working on one of my short stories, (and) the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies."

Even so, police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill.

[Via Joanne McNeil.]

NEXT: First We Take Manhattan

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  1. Ah, vacant-eyed hordes hunting for brains…

  2. Hang ‘im.

  3. Steven King had better call his attorney.
    Come to think of it, King looks like he just might be a terrorist.

    Sissy Spacek should put an attorney on retainer as well.

  4. Doesn’t this kid know there’s a war goin’ on? I mean, we may have tolerated this kind of thing before 9/11…

    …I’m sure all you libertarian types think it would be great to have a high school over run by zombies, but let me tell you somethin’–here in the heartland, there are a whole hell of a lotta people who think there ain’t nothin’ good about zombies–like it or not. So you can take your zombie lovin’, America hatin’ ideas and move to Syria! …See how they like you and your plans to set zombies loose all over the place.

    …Damn libertarian types don’t understand nothin’.

  5. It’s funny you bring up Stephen King. If he’d written his novella, ‘Rage’, in 2005, he’d almost certainly have been arrested for it. On *some* pretext.

    It’s about a kid who brings a gun to school, shoots his teacher, and holds his class hostage.

  6. Yes, we have apparently entered the era of pure thought crimes.

  7. isildur,

    Pearl Jam is in some serious trouble too. 🙂

  8. Not to mention the makes of the first Scream movie (poor Harry Winkler, stabbed after school).

  9. Better arrest Bob Geldorf and the Boomtown Rats too.

    (Warning, Warning! Cut and Paste Song Alert.)

    I Don’t Like Mondays

    The silicon chip inside her head
    Gets switched to overload.
    And nobody’s gonna go to school today,
    She’s going to make them stay at home.
    And daddy doesn’t understand it,
    He always said she was as good as gold.
    And he can see no reason
    ‘Cause there are no reasons
    What reason do you need to be shown?

    Tell me why?
    I don’t like Mondays.
    Tell me why?
    I don’t like Mondays.
    Tell me why?
    I don’t like Mondays.
    I want to shoot
    The whole day down.

    The telex machine is kept so clean
    As it types to a waiting world.
    And mother feels so shocked,
    Father’s world is rocked,
    And their thoughts turn to
    Their own little girl.
    Sweet 16 ain’t so peachy keen,
    No, it ain’t so neat to admit defeat.
    They can see no reasons
    ‘Cause there are no reasons
    What reason do you need to be shown?

    Tell me why?
    I don’t like Mondays.
    Tell me why?
    I don’t like Mondays.
    Tell me why?
    I don’t like Mondays.
    I want to shoot
    The whole day down.

    All the playing’s stopped in the playground now
    She wants to play with her toys a while.
    And school’s out early and soon we’ll be learning
    And the lesson today is how to die.
    And then the bullhorn crackles,
    And the captain crackles,
    With the problems and the how’s and why’s.
    And he can see no reasons
    ‘Cause there are no reasons
    What reason do you need to die?

    Tell me why?
    I don’t like Mondays.
    Tell me why?
    I don’t like Mondays.
    Tell me why?
    I don’t like Mondays.
    I want to shoot
    The whole day down.

  10. I can’t wait until his grandparents get senile and he gets to choose which nursing home they go to.

    How much worse is this totalitarian bullshit going to get?

  11. They found a literate teenager in Kentucky and they’re prosecuting him? Unbelievable!

  12. Jennifer,

    Remember, we’re fighting for “freedom.” 🙂

  13. “Ah, vacant-eyed hordes hunting for brains…”

    Comment by: Eric the .5b at March 1, 2005 07:04 PM

    Eric, I’ll assume that you are referring to the cops…

  14. I love Jennifer’s comment. I wonder how they feel today already, if the guilt has set in yet.

    And Jennifer, do you really need to ask? They have laid the game plan out for all to see. “There ought to be a limit to freedom.” And there will be. My fav response is a republican that I know, who is Shocked, just Shocked, at the way it is all playing out.

  15. I can’t wait until his grandparents get senile


  16. “They found a literate teenager in Kentucky and they’re prosecuting him? Unbelievable!”

    Can’t have people bein’ creative and stuff. Might lead to thinkin’ fer yerself, and THEN where’d we be?

  17. since nobody else (Warren) has mentioned it:

    it’s time to fucking start drinking. fuckin asshattery.

    gary – what the hell did jermey say in class today? and jamie’s got a gun, too. and the replacements declare “fuck school”.

    freedom, i tells ya. freedom.

  18. Jesus. If this is freedom, I’d hate to see tyranny. But in another decade or so, I don’t think I’ll have much choice.

  19. Let this be a lesson to the kiddies: don’t go thinking on your own — you have the state for that.

    It’s no wonder students don’t think very highly of the first amendment.

  20. Serious question:

    Does anyone see a revolution in the works in the next decade or so, or is America too far gone?

  21. Welcome to Asshat’s Mare’ka, Where the first amendment (along with the rest of the constitution) is as quaint as the Geneva Convention.

  22. “They found a literate teenager in Kentucky and they’re prosecuting him? Unbelievable!”-WSDave

    I’m surprised that they had someone who could do fancy readin’ an figger out whatun that boy was up ta.

    Another fine example of zero tolerance policies(caused by overreactive legislation based on a few incidents) having little to do with logic and common sense.

  23. Dave, I think a revolution might be what we’d need. The system is never going to get fixed by legislators.

  24. “Better arrest Bob Geldorf and the Boomtown Rats too.”

    NoStar> Actually, that song wasn’t fictional. It was based on an actual school shooting in 1979.

    So, technically, were they just reporting the news a bit late?

    Of course, they were Brits, so even reading a story like that may be illegal eventually.

  25. Warren – if you’re ever in chicago, you bet!


  26. WSDave-
    My boyfriend has long said that the system is too corrupt to be fixed from within, and I always thought this was just cynicism, but the last year or so have made me suspect he’s right. When I read stories like this one, or last week’s tale of the six-year-old who gave her friend a Baggie of rocks, dirt and clover and got in trouble for “behavior that looks like drug dealing,” one part of me is horrified whereas another part thinks, “Good. Surely a few more incidents like this will light the fuse!”

    But I don’t know. I worry most Americans won’t care, so long as they have their 150 TV channels and can still afford to buy cheap useless trinkets at Wal*Mart.

  27. Mr. Poole is apparently 18. If he isn’t convicted of a felony then he’ll still be eligible to vote when this is over.

    I hope the LP sends him a brochure. If there’s anybody who understands just how dysfunctional the system is, it’s him.

  28. I don’t think he does, thoreau. Especially now that he’s probably been shown the “error of his ways”.

  29. Why don’t all of you people get your heads out of your asses! I credit the kid for thinking about zombies, because they are very interesting creatures of the living dead!
    A comment about the war, what does this have to do with war? Everything that people do now days has do be wrong, A comment a story a movie a book, get your heads out of the gutter.

  30. Well we got no choice
    All the girls and boys
    Makin’ all that noise
    ‘Cause they found new toys
    Well we can’t salute ya
    Can’t find a flag
    If that don’t suit ya
    That’s a drag

    School’s out for summer
    School’s out forever
    School’s been blown to pieces

    No more pencils
    No more books
    No more teacher’s dirty looks

    Well we got no class
    And we got no principles
    And we got no innocence
    We can’t even think of a word that rhymes

    School’s out for summer
    School’s out forever
    School’s been blown to pieces

    No more pencils
    No more books
    No more teacher’s dirty looks

    Out for summer
    Out till fall
    We might not go back at all

    School’s out forever
    School’s out for summer
    School’s out with fever
    School’s out completely

  31. Jennifer,

    Part of the problem is collectivist senior citizens and boomers. Once they die off, there will be less people in the world willing to turn in their own flesh and blood. (I’ve observed boomers are particularly bad about that, so it might get worse before it gets better.)

    I’m surprised sometimes just how many of my fellow GenXers have libertarian tendencies, though.

    I hear tell there’s plenty of anarchists in Oregon and Washington willing to join any revolution. You should see what an anti-Bush protest looks like over here.

  32. kmw, we GenXers and GenYers may be exhibiting libertarian tendencies right now. Then again, didn’t the Boomers swear that they were going to legalize weed?

    I know, weed isn’t the only indicator of political affiliation. My only point is that the Boomers all had this common experience (smoking weed) but they all turned their backs on that common experience when they became parents and politicians and business owners.

    I’ll be pleasantly surprised if GenX remains markedly less statist than the 2 previous generations.

  33. Seeing as my high school was, in fact, overrun by zombies, this gives me pause about writing my memoirs.

  34. KMW–
    I dunno; MY fellow Gen Xers seem to be turning into the same Soccer Moms and NASCAR Dads who apparently think that any infringement of liberty is okay, so long as it’s for “The Children!” You know, like the children who were in terrible danger of having their brains eaten by William Poole’s zombie hordes.

  35. “Good. Surely a few more incidents like this will light the fuse!” (et. al.)

    Look folks, if the sheeple can’t be motivated to vote for a non-Republocrat, they sure as hell ain’t about to pick up a gun and start marching through the streets.

    The hope for the revolution lies more in the likes of Ventura, and Schwarzenegger than McVay and Kaczynski

  36. thoreau,

    Thanks to the miracle that is the internet, this and future generations (until they regulate the net) will get to network and find out about situations like this kid. No previous generation had this advantage.
    We get to find out the “truth” of things, like how much the govt. lies to us (not just that it does), and that there really won’t be any SS when we retire (no we learn not to count on it). If things go well (and I plan on doing my part), the computer generation will say “Screw the government, we can do this ourselves!”
    They’re an industrious bunch. The problem is that they may also say “Screw America, I can tele-commute from Costa Rica”. : )

  37. Screw optimism.

    The breeders, power-whores and weasels (or as thoreau calls them, “parents,” “politicians,” and “business owners”) always inherit the political revolution and turn it into a joke.

    The only hope lies not in politics but in the reliably libertarian hacker ethic of the technology sector.

    Incidentally, the only SS I expect to see when I’m old is the schultzstaffel.

  38. WSDAVE,

    Costa Rica apparently has good policies for political freedom and civil liberties (www.freedomhouse.org) but it’s lacking in economic freedom (www.heritage.org).

    For some other countries that have top political freedom and civil liberties ratings, plus higher economic freedom ratings than the U.S., try Luxembourg, Estonia, Ireland, UK, Denmark, Iceland, Australia, Chile, and Switzerland.

  39. Ammonium-
    Before talking about the freedom of the UK, do a Google on “Asbo”, aka “anti Social Behavior Order.”

  40. Every story that I’ve read on this makes it sound like the grandparents just happened to discover the story, not that he publicized it. How in the hell can that even begin to make for a colorable “threatening” charge?!

  41. “try Luxembourg, Estonia, Ireland, UK, Denmark, Iceland, Australia, Chile, and Switzerland.”

    Ammonium, another big concern is gun rights, which Australia, Ireland, and the UK aren’t big on. I don’t know about the other countries, but it seems to me that the “FreeState” project may be better of finding a country with the population of New Hampshire (Maine?, Vermont? Where is freestate going to be ,again?), so that there are less federal regulations to kill the project. FreeCountry, anyone?

  42. kmw writes: “I hear tell there’s plenty of anarchists in Oregon and Washington willing to join any revolution.”

    To be sure, there are plenty of so-called anarchists around here but I take little comfort in the thought that any progress towards greater freedom in this world rests on their efforts. Please, they are generally affluent white middle-class suburban kids (not that there’s anything wrong with that, having been one myself) grown up to be 20-something victims of prosperity, with too much time and too little thought, bent on venting their prolonged adolescent angst by chanting whatever slogans happen to be chic this month. Have you ever heard one of these people asked to explain his or her view on any issue of any importance? It’s laughable. They’re just useful idiots for the political agenda of those pulling the stings behind that day’s demonstration: anti-Bush, anti-GM foods, anti-globalization, anti-pesticide, anti-McDonalds, anti-whatever, it’s all the same, who cares. I’ll take one thoughtful articulate individual with a philosophical belief that individuals do not need a government telling them how to live and who can quietly explain this idea to those around them over a thousand marching, screaming “anarchists” wearing hammer and sickle or Che Guevera t-shirts (do they know no irony?) helping to free people from the evil latte-tyranny by smashing a widow at Starbucks.

  43. This case will be quietly dropped and forgotten in two years.

    As for the chances for a libertarian revolution…forget it. Our best hope is that the up-and-coming economic collapse from our current bad fiscal policies isn’t too far away. And when it does occur and the average Joe and Jane discover that the nanny state can’t protect them, and that America is no longer the world supercop, then maybe they’ll think “maybe those crazy libertarians were right?”

    Naaaaa…It’ll never happen. I’m hoping for an alien abduction.

  44. The “Greatest Generation” cheered on FDR and the New Deal, they stood with the Bonus Marchers and went off to join the Abraham Lincoln Brigades against Franco, then the real army against Hitler…They became crotchy old right-wingers.

    The Babyboomers, supported Civil Rights and legalized pot. They talked free love, booed Nixon and the draft, and sent the occasional bomb to the schools Army Math Center… They became crotchy old right-wingers.

    Generation X and Y listen to Kurt Cobain and Rage Against The Machine. They watched Captain Planet, went to anti-globalization protests, and read Noam Chomsky… You can see where I’m going with this.

  45. the system is too corrupt to be fixed from within, and I always thought this was just cynicism

    People call me a cynic when I say that too. They think if we just write enough letters to congress it’ll all get better.

    I say people don’t read enough history to know any better.

    If this is freedom, I’d hate to see tyranny.

    Well, now, maybe you just ought to take on a whole new attitude about Iraq. ‘Cause we’re gonna free them up and give them democracy. Soon, Iraq will be everything that we *used* to be. Then all us libertarian types can move to Iraq and life will be great.

    The next time Bush says he needs more money for bullets in Iraq, maybe we ought to chant Just Do It. I for one hope they clear the suicide bombers out before I have to emmigrate.

  46. It’s important that children understand what zombies are.

  47. Holy crap. Things like this make me glad that I graduated high school when I did. Any later and I would’ve probably been getting my GED in prison. I have cartoons and short stories from 9th and 10th grade featuring comedic violence in a high school setting.

  48. yes the anti-bush rally cry is loud in oregon, but thats all it is… talk, really loud talk. the first revolution was hunting rifles against british muskets… we’ve still go the hunting rifles, but what good are they against unmanned recon planes with rockets? turn in your guns for a national id card and watch fox news before someone reports you.

  49. Well, it’s a good thing Ed Wood is gone…he’d be in Camp X-ray by now!

  50. Ken Shultz – take your schlong and insert it into your mouth and then proceed to choke on it.

    you retarded, redneck, hillbilly schlong sucking throwback.

  51. The fact that a high school student would think that “over ran” is grammatically correct is the most disturbing thing about this incident.

  52. You guys ever read Captain Underpants? Those books are ALL about the school kids being turned into Zombie Nerds or possessed by aliens.

    How come they don’t throw Dave Pilkey in jail?

  53. smashing a widow at Starbucks

    Wow, that’s really anarchic! 😉

  54. Jennifer sez:

    But I don’t know. I worry most Americans won’t care, so long as they have their 150 TV channels and can still afford to buy cheap useless trinkets at Wal*Mart.

    Now that Ted Stevens is going to take away those 150 channels, are those ordinarily complacent people going to take to the streets?

    It seems like the new and improved GOP is doing all it can to screw every demographic.

  55. I’ll need that list of names, if you don’t mind.

  56. Captain Underpants indeed. AND what about that anarchist troublemaker Junie B Jones?

  57. “Anytime you…possess matter involving a school or function it’s a felony in the state of Kentucky”

    What is he talking about? Does anyone have a link to this law?

  58. OK, I found it.


    It doesn’t say a damn thing about “possessing matter”, only about making threats. Is writing a story about an incident the same thing as threatening to enact it? More importantly, can a threat involve zombies and still be credible? I would love to be on this jury, if I could only stop laughing long enough for prosecution to make it’s “case”.

  59. Aw, Jeebus, not the Randoids….

    ObMIT: Ergot! The Campus Voice of Treason!

  60. You guys don’t understand. I live in Winchester and the story WASN’t written about zombees. Ther word zombee wasn’t even in the story period. It was written about making threats against a school. It talked about harming policemen and teachers as well as students. I have children in the Winchester school district and I don’t appreciate this kid making such threats as this. William Poole was arested since this story for being spotted at an elementary school after posting bail. He was not to be near a school unitl he was cleared to do so. William’s own brother said he has been in trouble for making threats in the past. He is what he is. I hope you idiots out there will understand that the world is a much worse place than it was a few years ago. Innocent children are being killed in schools because of people like William Poole. There’s no excuse for what he did!!!!!! He is a bully who thinks he can run over people. Anyone who defends what he did is as bad as he is!!!

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