Friday Fun Celebrity Non-Recognition Anecdote

Funny story, apropos of nothing:

An L.A.-based journalist friend who shall remain nameless got himself an invite to a Golden Globes post-party. He is not, it will soon become clear, an entertainment reporter. He and his friend decided early on that the party would only be a success if they managed to physically touch a Globe statuette. So they looked around the room, but the trophies seemed to be hoarded by the famous and scary-looking. Until they came upon a young lassie, ogling and petting the Globe like a common rube, while seated next to a more distinguished-looking older woman who was clearly her Globe-winning mother or boss. What they did not know—and only found out after going home and looking on the Internet—was that the young woman was actually award-winner Hillary Swank. The conversation thus ensued.

"Congratulations!" they said to older woman.

Laughter. No, it was the younger rube wot won.

"Um, so … what did you win it for?" (Thinking to themselves … technical achievement?)

More laughter. "You don't get out much, do you?" Swank said. "It was for best actress in a drama."

Much fervent whispering and guessing between the two interlopers, concluding with "Oh, that must be Jennifer Garner!"

"So," our hero stammers, "Where's Ben Affleck?"

Stunned silence. Mother and daughter get up to leave.

At this point my friend's English, which is not his first language, has melted around the edges from the fluster. "Well before you go," he says, skin turning a lovely purple, "can I um, grope your globe?"

To Swank's eternal credit, she let him.