Pre-Oscar Grouch
Frequent Reason contributor Steve Kurtz has published his annual roundup of the year in movies. As always, I can't endorse all his opinions -- but he does have an entertaining way of putting things:
Near the end of The Day After Tomorrow (the day after, I guess), the Vice President, clearly based on Dick Cheney, goes on TV and apologizes for not listening to climatologist Dennis Quaid's warnings. (The well-meaning but stupid President died in a blizzard.) Slate Magazine had a contest to write how the real Dick Cheney would have apologized. I didn't enter, but I think the speech would have gone like this:
"In the 1960s, there were many significant spokespeople for the environmental movement who claimed the game was already lost and by the mid-70s, we'd have mass starvation in the United States. After being proved comically wrong, they kept predicting apocalypse in very short order, and yet, though disproved time after time, never gave up making terrible predictions, and never apologized for being so frighteningly wrong. By 2004, after more than four decades of being absurdly mistaken, and with the average human on earth better fed, clothed and housed than ever before, you can understand my skepticism when one lone expert predicted outrageous scenarios of disaster, one following upon another, in a matter of weeks. I was not willing at the time to jeopardize the world economy to avoid what sounded like the plot of one of those empty, big-budget Hollywood summer movies, full of spectacle at the expense of character. It now turns out after forty years of experts being wrong and not apologizing, one of the experts finally got it right--for not recognizing this, I apologize."
One warning: Steve's discussion of Million Dollar Baby includes a major spoiler. He won't care, because he didn't like the movie; but I did like it, so I'm letting you know.
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I liked this:
BEST DEDICATION: At the end of Man On Fire, which has just shown Mexico City to be a complete hellhole where no one is safe, they thank the beautiful city for allowing them to film there.
That being said, I'm not sure about somebody who liked The Village but didn't like Million Dollar Baby, but to each his own.
His description of the plot of Van Helsing is also funny. That was the one of the silliest movies I've ever seen.
I'm waiting for State of Fear to come out in the theatres. I wonder which company would back such a film, if any.
Ggggrrr. Despite Jesse's warning about the spoiler, I accidentally glimpsed it anyway as I was hurriedly trying to scroll past that part of Kurtz' post.
NOT COOL! Doesn't matter whether you like a movie or not ... you don't give away the ending, especially without a big, fat "SPOILER AHEAD!!!!!!" warning.
Amen, semolina. I'm not even going to RTFA because of that.
Kevin
(Still mad at Sparky Schulz for ruining the ending of Citizen Kane for me, one Sunday morning.)
Way off topic, but did anyone notice that Andrew Sullivan announced today he's giving up the blog?
I demand that someone edit the spoiler part of the article so that I can read it and then spout my biased, ignorant opinion all over this thread.
There oughta be a law. Mao!
(I am planning to see Million Dollar Baby and I, too, hate spoilers.)
Spoiler:
It turns out that Hillary Swank's character is really a man, Clint Eastwood caused the train crash at the beginning of the film, and they're all living in an alien zoo.
I'm still waiting for a new movie that can top
Road to Perdition.
Now that was a hell of a movie!
(Still mad at Sparky Schulz for ruining the ending of Citizen Kane for me, one Sunday morning.)
Wasn't that about 25 years after the movie came out? I think the statute of limitations has to expire sometime.
Knowing the ending of Citizen K doesn't matter. It was just a way to get the film going and give the reporter a reason to look at the main character's life.
Knowing the ending of MDB doesn't matter either because it's the telling the story that counts, not what happens at the end - it's not a twist like the Sixth Sense.
I just got a note from Steve Kurtz, by the way, telling me that he's added a spoiler warning to the Million Dollar Baby section.
As end of year movie roundups go, this would be somewhere towards the bottom of my list. Lodged firmly between a Hollywood actuarial spreadsheet and a list of all the movies my nextdoor neighbor hasn't seen or didn't "get."
I also find the non-appreciation of Harold and Kumar completely dumbfounding.
Regarding Lucy Van Pelt's big, fat, spoiling Citizen Kane for Linus (and me) mouth:
The offending strip ran on 12.09.1973. I was all of 17 at the time. I hadn't had the opportunity to see Kane yet, and there were millions of Peanuts readers younger than me in the same position. OK, maybe in some households I could stay up to watch the flick when the rotation on the Late, Late Show gave me a chance at it, but not in our house.
A year or two later I went to the rep theatre in the city my college was in and finally got to see the flick start to finish.
I disagree that the McGuffin in Welles' film is irrelevant.
*SPOILER*
Gung Xnar jnf svkngrq ba n fvzcyr cyrnfher bs puvyqubbq fnvq fbzrguvat nobhg uvf punenpgre, naq V pna'g uryc ohg srry gung gur ybff bs gur fhecevfr gung Ebfrohq jnf uvf fyrq qvzvavfurq gur rkcrevrapr n ovg sbe zr.
There, that's how one does a spoiler warning!
Kevin