Put Another Tofu Dog on the Barbie, Baby

You know, I never thought we'd get to the point where I'd have a chance to play identity politics by starting a sentence: "Speaking as a vegetarian," but: Speaking as a vegetarian of 13 years, the idea that there's any outcry over this is truly mindboggling:

A TELEVISION advertisement in which former football star Sam Kekovich says people who do not eat lamb on Australia Day are un-Australian, pot-smoking vegetarians deserving of capital punishment has triggered a flood of complaints.

The Advertising Standards Board will today conduct a preliminary review of the ad, in which the former television satirist says Australia's Diggers were not fighting for "tofu sausages". The advertising watchdog has received "multiple" complaints.

Have there been recent anti-vegetarian pogroms in Australia in light of which this is offensive? People are clearly forgetting the all-important "mockery" rationale for the sacred contract of free speech. In short: there are lots of different kinds of people to make fun of. And there are more of them than of you. So for any particular individual, whatever mental discomfort involved in periodically being the butt of the joke pales in comparison to the benefit of the much greater other-directed mockery we can participate in a free society. This is plainly a tradeoff any rational agent behind a properly constructed veil of ignorance would make.

Comments

[Ken Shultz]

I was a vegetarian for years, and I wouldn't have been offended by the statement this guy made.

If you looked at the people who complained, I bet you'd find that they're just a bunch of tree-humping hippies.

[andy]

If it was satirical, then there's no reason to be upset. It'd actually be pretty funny.

If it wasn't, then there would be.

[Will]

Eh... it's part of a larger trend I suppose among the brownshirt-conservatives who are secretly hoping that sometime between now and 2008 the vegetarians will be rounded up for the cleansing wind of a righteous firing squad. This for making their kids gay. Or whatever...

[cdunlea]

You know, I'm all for freedom for advertisers to say whatever nonsense they want to pimp their product, but hardcore satire like this needs to be done carefully. If it wasn't funny to enough people it shouldn't have been aired. Even the beef industry people here didn't impugn the character of Americans when telling us that beef was "what's for dinner".

[Eric Atkinson]

Hitler was a vegetarian...think about it.

[PintofStout]

Don't feed the children. No...

I mean, don't eat he children. No...

I mean, don't eat meat for the children! Yea, that's the one.

[R C Dean]

If it wasn't funny to enough people it shouldn't have been aired.

Sure, but if it was aired anyway, do we all agree that it should be none of the government's business?

[cdunlea]

Okay.

[Philthy Hippie]

Julian, you dope smoking, tofu pup eating hippie. I can't believe we never met on tour. Maybe we did. Ever have a garlic-mashed-potato-and-red-onion burrito at a Trey show?

[Julian Sanchez]

Never saw Trey solo, actually, but I did see Phish about 30 times at various East Coast venues.

[Juanita]

Althougth this applies to Australia, we live in a free country, we have a right to not ever be offended by anything. We need an ammendment to guarantee political correctness to all.

Let Freedom Ring!!!

[speedwell]

As a vegetarian and anarcho-libertarian of five years, I fully support that jerk's right to make an ass of himself and piss people off.

[kwais]

As a person who doesn't believe you can say that something is a meal unless something had to be killed to make it, I didn't know that the Australians played football. I thought they were a bunch of soccer faggots.

[Stevo Darkly]

But to most of the world outside of the U.S., "soccer" is football. I think we're the only ones who call the game where big guys keep group-hugging and slap each other's butts "football." Everyone else calls that "American football." When Americans finally started to play real football, we had to call it "association football" or "soccer" for short, to distinguish it from our brand.

My apologies if you knew that and are just goofing; I've hardly ever followed sports so this was my rare opportunity to share what little sports-related knowledge I possess. (As a participatory sport, soccer was actually a bigger deal than football when I grew up in St. Louis -- sort of. Our high school football team got all the glory, but it was our high school soccer team that actually won games.)

[Isaac Bartram]

kwais

The game we call "football" is not the only version.

In most of the world "football" is used to refer to soccer. In Wales however it refers to Rugby Union.

Depending on which part of Australia you live in "football" refers to Australian Rules Football or Rugby League. Soccer is not as popular as either of those.

Stevo, Australians call our game "Gridiron".

[free form]

Speaking as a vegetarian myself, I feel victimized. Therefore, somebody owes me money.

[Ken Shultz]

Austrailia has its own version of Football called "Austrailian Rules Football", which looked to me like a blend of American Football and Rugby. I knew a guy who played for Perth.

They don't wear helmets.

[kwais]

"Good game" Slap.

"Stop doing that, we aren't on the same team!!!"

[Jamie]

Don't forget gaelic football, which stands out for being played by hitting the other team with sticks.

If God didn't wan't us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?

That one slays me every time...

[Doc]

Yeah, but you get tits, asses and dick on Aussie TV!

And this contrasts some absolutely shocking racism. How would you like to go to see a football game at the ES Nigger Brown Stand in Toowoomba if you were black? Even some tv commercials are pretty derogatory (but funny) and they get through.

Remember, it is only a 'preliminary investigation'.

Has anyone seen Michael Powell on a Qantas flight lately? 🙂

[Isaac Bartram]

I think you may have confused "Hurling" with "gaelic football". "Hurling" is a stick game. Australian Rules is similar to Gaelic football.

[Isaac Bartram]

Oh, and by the way, if you go to a footie game in Oz do not tell the locals that you're "rooting" for the home team.

Hint: it means some thing completely different. 🙂

[ugly american]

Nothing brings out the self-serious euroweenie types like poking a little fun at their metric football.

Without fail, someone will point out that American football isn't really "football" at all! Thanks for enlightening us!

Australian rules football, on the other hand, is worthy of the name. I'm not quite sure how it differs from rugby, but it's a lot more entertaining to watch.

[Isaac Bartram]

Without fail, someone will point out that American football isn't really "football" at all!

Nothing brings out the hyper-sensitivity of some Americans like pointing out that words have different meanings elsewhere. Nobody said American football isn't really "football" at all.

Oh, and in the novel the "Ugly American" was the good guy. He was not ill-mannered just physically ugly.

[ugly american]

What I meant is, they'll always point it out as if we weren't aware that in most parts of the world, they say "football" when they mean "soccer."

Perhaps we already know that, and we keep calling our sport football just to annoy you.

And I'm not even much of a football fan (either type).

[Gary Gunnels]

I enjoy all forms of football. 🙂

[Isaac Bartram]

Oh, OK.

It doesn't annoy me, but then I'm not European. 🙂

[Isaac Bartram]

and I don't particularly like soccer.

[Isaac Bartram]

But I'll be pissed if you dis Aussie Rules or Rugby.

[Jennifer]

Althougth this applies to Australia, we live in a free country, we have a right to not ever be offended by anything. We need an ammendment to guarantee political correctness to all.

Let Freedom Ring!!!

Kudos to Juanita! Now she's getting the hang of how to do satire.

[Rhywun]

Speaking as a meat-loving (but not lamb-loving) carnivore, I find the statement that vegetarians deserve to be killed to be quite offensive. Advocating murder, however tongue-in-cheek, is not humorous or "making fun", or acceptable as commercial advertising, in my opinion. Not sure I'd involve the government though. I think public opprobrium is enough.

[Amy Alkon]

More and more, America is The Land Of The Insulted. How depressing that Australia is joining in. And, to borrow from Fran Lebowitz, I'd like to add that "my favorite animal is steak." (Preferably still mooing.)

[Legend]

Well, are the Libertarian advocates of this ad going to all smoke a joint on the day we set aside to protest draconian anti-drug laws (usually the first Sunday in May)?

[Wild Pegasus]

If we kill all the vegetarians, can we eat them?

- Josh, conservationist

[Jonathan Dingel]

Australian rules football, on the other hand, is worthy of the name. I'm not quite sure how it differs from rugby, but it's a lot more entertaining to watch.

Rugby involves an end zone; Aussie rules involves kicking the ball between two posts.

[A. Whitney Brown]

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, but because I really hate plants.

[kevrob]

"Slamming" Sam Kekovich was an Aussie Rules footie star, BTW.

"Football" has never only meant the Association game.

The term "football" first appeared in a 1486 document, but it didn't mean a game in which a foot came into contact with a ball. Instead, it meant a game played "on foot" rather than on horse, as was royally-approved jousting. The name also showed that football belonged to the commoners; only the nobility could afford to use horses for games!

http://www.footballresearch.com/articles/frpage.cfm?topic=a-to1633

If Julian wants to abdicate his position at the top of the food chain, well, that's just more lamb chops for the rest of us omnivores, right?

Kevin

[AJS]

Don't be too concerned about the alleged outcry in OZ over this. Sam Kekovich is infamous in Australia for being a bit of a provocateur as well as one who occasionally takes the piss. I suspect he might have been extracting some urine with this comment (I find it hilarious and completely in keeping with our irreverent attitude). There are always a small minority of what I call "professionally offended people" who take umbrage at any slightly off colour remark. BTW, as others have pointed out Aussie Rules Football is indeed football and closer to the Gaelic game than Gridiron or Rugby and certainly a long way from Soccer. Rugby Union is the best of the lot IMHO, but that's just my personal bias 🙂

[AJS]

I forgot to mention that most Aussie would find this remark amusing. If you haven't been to Australia and don't have the cultural context, I would imagine that Kekovich's quote would look a little confronting.

[haha]

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