Lawyers Say the Darndest Things

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Charles Graner is a soldier on trial for abuses at Abu Ghraib. I didn't think anyone could outdo the Limbaugh defense, but…

Defence attorney Guy Womack insisted a tether is a "valid tool", and denied that the photos depicted real abuse.

He compared pictures of naked Iraqi prisoners in a human pyramid to cheerleaders at US sports events, who form pyramids "all over America".

NEXT: Heather Can't Have Two Mommies

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  1. Hell, I'm in a human pyramid right now!

  2. Yeah but...

    High school cheerleaders are hot. Naked Iraqi men aren't.

    Now maybe if they were dressed in cheerleader outfits...

  3. "He compared pictures of naked Iraqi prisoners in a human pyramid to cheerleaders at US sports events, who form pyramids "all over America".

    Back in the day, I had quite an eye for the cheerleaders. I noticed just about everything they did, but I never saw any of them suddenly decide to get naked and form a pyramid.

    ...not even when they were drunk.

    I'd ask where he was, specifically, when he saw cheerleaders behaving this way, but no one is taking his claim seriously, right?

    ...I mean he must have some sort of developmental or psychiatric problem. Indeed, judging by the statement above, he seems to be suffering from some sort of weird gender confusion syndrome at the very least.

    "Spc Graner could face a 17-year sentence if found guilty. Three other soldiers have already been convicted."

    Three soldiers is just enough to form a naked pyramid!

  4. He compared pictures of naked Iraqi prisoners in a human pyramid to cheerleaders at US sports events, who form pyramids "all over America".

    I've watched the Army/Navy game periodically, and I've noticed that neither side has cheerleaders. In fact, rather than cheerleaders, they seem to have a bunch of guys doing push ups instead. Graner must have observed this at some point--maybe that's what triggered his psychosis!

    ...We need to get some cheerleaders to West Point and the Naval Academy on the double!

  5. "He compared pictures of naked Iraqi prisoners in a human pyramid to cheerleaders at US sports events, who form pyramids "all over America".

    I don't necessarily agree with the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, but if that is the policy, shouldn't they enforce it?

  6. AAAAaaallllll ABOOoooaaarrrrrd! The kangaroo express.

  7. He compared pictures of naked Iraqi prisoners in a human pyramid to cheerleaders at US sports events, who form pyramids "all over America".

    I think I understand why Graner saw this whole torture/pyramid business in the weird way he did.

    ...You see, when he was growing up, he must have thought that cheerleaders all over America were pulled from the ranks of juvenile detention facilities. In his head, they weren't cheering or forming pyramids willingly...

    ...So, in his head, he wasn't torturing the prisoners--he was coaching the prisoners!

  8. "Another photo featured Pte Lynndie England, who has since had a child with Graner, leading a prisoner on a leash.

    Mr Womack said tethers were "a valid tool" when dealing not only with prisoners, but also with children.

    "You've probably been at a mall or airport and seen children on tethers; they're not being abused," he argued.

    "You're keeping control of them. A tether is a valid control to be used in corrections," he said.

    Why certainly! When Lynndie gets outta the slammer in a decade or so, we're gonna open up ourselves a nice little day care facility. Nobody walks a child like Lynndie! We can teach 'em to catch a Frisbee in their teeth too--no extra charge.

    "In Texas we'd lasso them and drag them out of there."

    That's a good reason not to send prisoners to Texas. ...And if you had any evidence to back up that claim, I'd demand a federal investigation of the Texas prison system right now, you stupid hick!

  9. What's really hideous is that US Army Sgt. Tracy E. Perkins was given only six months by a military court and a reduction in pay for the murder of Zaydun Al-Samarrai, a crime that would have gone unnoticed, but was made famous by the "pro-American" blogger, Zeyad, who turned out to be Zaydun's cousin. Cases against other US soldiers involved in the murder are either pending or have been dropped. Story at :

    "America's Death Squads, They're murdering innocents in Iraq

    http://antiwar.com/justin/

  10. Actually, both West Point and the Naval Academy have cheerleaders. At the Tulane/Army game last year the West Point Commandant even joined in with the cheerleaders at the pre-game festivities, it was pretty hilarious.

  11. What is this? The Ken Schults all the time thread?

    BTW check this out:
    http://badgas.co.uk/lynndie/

  12. I'd like to know where I can find naked cheerleaders making pyramids. I'll move there tomorrow.

    Until then, Sgt. Graner, I suggest you get a better lawyer. The current one is letting you talk too much.

  13. These naked pyramids are no worse than sorority hazing rituals...

    ...or at least no worse than the sorority hazing rituals in that movie I rented late one night in a hotel room...

    um, don't tell my wife. 🙁

  14. That whole nekkid pyramid thing sounds pretty fun. I wonder how much it would cost me to get in a pyramid of hot nekkid chicks?

    I have a new goal. Cool.

  15. The Fixx

    One Thing Leads To Another

    The deception with tact
    Just what are you trying to say
    You've got a blank face, which irritates
    Communicate, pull out your party piece
    You see dimensions in two
    State your case with black or white
    But when one little cross
    Leads to shots, grit your teeth
    You run for cover so discreet
    Why don't they

    Do what they say, say what you mean
    Oh well, one thing leads to another
    You told me something wrong
    I know I listen too long
    But then one thing leads to another

    The impression that you sell
    Passes in and out like a scent
    But the long face that you see
    Comes from living close to your fears
    If this is up, then I'm up
    But you're running out of sight
    You've seen your name on the walls
    And when one little bump
    Leads to shock miss a beat
    You run for cover and there's heat
    Why don't they

    Do what they say, say what they mean
    One thing leads to another
    You told me something wrong
    I know I listen too long
    But then one thing leads to another
    Yeah, yeah, yeah

    One thing leads to another

    Then it's easy to believe
    Somebody's been lying to me
    But when the wrong word goes in the right ear
    I know you've been lying to me
    It's getting rough, off the cuff
    I've got to say enough's enough
    Bigger the harder he falls
    But when the wrong antidote
    Is like a bulge on the throat
    You run for cover in the heat
    Why don't they

    Do what they say, say what they mean
    One thing leads to another
    You told me something wrong
    I know I listen too long
    But then one thing leads to another
    Yeah, yeah

    One thing leads to another...

  16. I read an AP update article on this; when one of the prisoners was testifying about the abuses he suffered, the lawyer responded by saying that (paraphrase) "This is the face of the enemy, you can tell he hates America."

    I really think the lawyer's plan is to do SUCH a bad job that Graner can appeal his sentence on the grounds of incompetent counsel.

  17. Jennifer,

    Such behavior could quickly lead to a sanction against the attorney in a civilian court.

  18. Don't forget our 'fearless leader' george was a cheerleader in his ivy league days!

  19. This sets quite an interesting precedent! Next time soldiers sexually abuse prisoners, they can just tell the judge, "well, sure, we did 'em good...but, then again, folks have sex all the time, all across America. This h'aint no diffrint!"

    Hell, once you cut out the whole "forcing you to do it against your will" quotient, then, hell, most anything can be considered mundane.

  20. "I've had enough of this, ""Lets go back to the station and cornhole us a drunk""

  21. Well...I think the maybe they should just shoot the scum like my father killed those SS soldiers
    back in March of 1945. Either that or make them listen the that crap from the Fixx.

  22. Sorry. Bad grammer day. "...make them listen to that crap from the Fixx."

  23. I think the maybe they should just shoot the scum like my father killed those SS soldiers

    yep. why think?

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