Arnold's Appetites: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

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The L.A. Times is all atwitter with the news that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger made the following joke Monday night about the effects of his Republican Convention speech on his two-party marriage:

"There was no sex for 14 days," he said. "Everything comes with side effects."

To which Steve Lopez cracked: "Maybe Maria has made it clear that if he leans too far to the right, he'll fall out of bed." Then columnist Patt Morrison upped the too-much-information ante:

Two weeks without sex? Is he serious? I'm supposed to feel sorry for him? I'd be happy to get that much action.

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  1. It’s funny that Patt Morrison wrote that, because every time I see her on KCET whining about some liberal cause or reviewing some liberal book, I think the same thing, almost. She would be lucky if she got any attention at all. Here’s a hint, honey, lose the hats.

    Yeah, it’s a cheap attack, so what?

    The local morning news here in LA ran a tape of what Arnold said. Leon Panetta cracked up, and it brought the house down. It was funny and it was delivered with good timing. I haven’t seen a politician, live on camera, as charming as Arnold since Ronald Reagan. Yes, that includes Bill Clinton.

  2. i thought it was cheap, too, until i saw THE HAT:

    http://www.npr.org/about/people/bios/biophotos/pmorrison.pb.jpg

    that’s a serious hat.

  3. You don’t know the half of it dhex. She has hundreds of them. They’re all solid colors, and they always match her dress. Her dressmaker must make them.

  4. So you mean if Arnie lost he’d have gotten sex with Maria Shriver right away? Sounds about right.

  5. i wonder if he said “my marital duties have been terminated, but i’ll be back!”

    those hats are pretty crazy. she just needs to find the right hat-digging gent.

  6. I like the hat better if it were bigger and had a veil.

  7. and trey steps up to the plate…

  8. Hey Patt. If you ever need a blogger to talk to, come on over. Keep your hat on. Bring Val too.

  9. Two weeks without sex…BAH! Try 7 years, you steriod-soaked slab of Ostreich studel!

  10. 14 days…. 7 years…..????Geez
    After 3 days I start not being able to see strait…
    One time my man was away for 3 weeks…. I fell down the stairs twice, wrecked my car, and wound up in the emergency room with a pencil stuck in my foot…

  11. More photos of the hat at her personal website:

    http://www.pattmorrison.com/

  12. He wants to have sex with Skeletor?

  13. I’m sure there were plenty of other unwilling women for him to have his way with during the 14 days. Seems like it’s not characteristic of him to ask first.

  14. Let me tell you something: If you don’t have sex with me for 3 months, I’ll go have sex with somebody else. I know, I’ve seen me do it.

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