Rumors & Fun Links

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A week after the first presidential debate, rumors continue to fly that George Bush's handlers were feeding him his lines via an earpiece. If you don't know what I'm talking about, there's a story about it in Salon today.

I don't actually have anything to say about those allegations. I'm just using them as an excuse to link to this old Saturday Night Live sketch.

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  1. Perhaps It?s a small ark of the covenant? It wasn?t Rove in Bush?s ear, it was G*D!!

  2. You know, I was-

    LET ME FINISH!

  3. Who was feeding him lines? Stuttering John?

    I might buy this if Bush had made the least bit of sense.

    It’s just a distraction from the real issue.

    Did Kerry have an un-sanctioned Bic?

    (I’m so no voting for either one of these Asshats.)

  4. And God needs to speak to him via an earpiece? Can’t God just, you know, commandeer Bush’s body and use it to speak His word? On second thought, can’t God just hold His own press conference, which the networks would be obligated to carry, pre-empting the debate?

  5. This article sounds like a reaction to the Drudge story about Kerry supposedly bringing a “cheat sheet” to the debate. Muddy the waters, etc etc.

    I like how the guy from the Spy Store says the bulge “appears to be electronic”, though. I didn’t know that store sold X-Ray Specs. 🙂

  6. I always liked this better. Mostly because it reverses the usual SNL paradigm.

  7. God speaks to him through his codpiece.

    I think it’s Mommy who has the direct link to George’s hammer, anvil, and stapes.

  8. Ah, yes, Salon! Fascinating topics, daily.

  9. I agree with Matt. If that performance was cheating, I’d hate to see Bush flying solo. Although it would be wonderful to crack that frequency tonight and have Bush answer one of these random “ordinary Americans” at the town hall debate tonight with a Mary Poppins tongue twister or maybe something from Telletubbies:

    Q: I’ve been unemployed for three years. What will you do in your next term to make sure I have a job and make a living wage?

    BUSH: Eh oh! LaLa does her secret dance again! Yea, tubby custard!

  10. Warren: Yeah, that one’s funnier. But I didn’t have an excuse to link to it…

    Dan: I think this rumor was actually circulating before the Drudge story.

  11. Who was feeding him lines? Stuttering John?

    Two points for Matt!

  12. Kenneth Bigley decapitated: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6190477/

    Maybe those who speculated that Bigley’s disappearance was a ruse will now admit that it wasn’t.

  13. Totally OT but…

    Read a day or two ago that Bush blew off his Presidential physical [snark] in August ’til “after the election.” Sorry, don’t have a link; just wondered what the grapevine had on it.

    jean

  14. Everything is a ruse, Jason, especially Ruse Jackson. What a ruse!

  15. You know, it does look like *something* but like angels or demons seen in photos of disasters, it’s fairly common for people to see stuff. When you have video, you’re getting what 33 frames per second? That would be a lot of chances for *something* to look like *something*.

    Also, anybody familiar with wiring somebody up knows it goes on the inside of the leg or the small of the back, not up between the shoulders. Also, it looks pretty big, you’d figure the POTUS could get some more cutting edge tech.

    All that being said, it wouldn’t surprise me if the story was true. How embarassing for the president.

  16. I think an additional important point to add is that the Bush campaign stipulated there would be no cameras behind the candidates, but Fox ignored them, and placed a camera behind them anyway (that’s where the shot came from). Although, its hard to imagine such an abysmal performance with someone telling him what to say. He repeated the phrase “hard wrok” 8 times in one answer.

  17. I like how the guy from the Spy Store says the bulge “appears to be electronic”, though. I didn’t know that store sold X-Ray Specs.

    Maybe not. You gotta admit, though, it’s a hell of an odd place to put your checkbook.

    My theory is that it was some sort of medical device that periodically delivered a mild electrical stimulus to his brain. Or maybe opiates.

  18. Flak jacket.

    Jeez.

  19. Gee Jesse, when did you win the presidency of the President’s fan club? 😉

  20. Dan: I think this rumor was actually circulating before the Drudge story.

    The rumor that Bush has speeches read to him through an earpiece has been circulating for a while, but this is the first I’ve heard of him supposedly using one during the debate.

    If it’s true that he’s dyslexic, he probably does have speeches read to him normally. It’s no stranger than reading them off a teleprompter, after all.

    You gotta admit, though, it’s a hell of an odd place to put your checkbook

    It’s a hell of a strange place to put a transmitter, too. It would be much easier to conceal one under the armpit or in the small of his back.

    I suspect that JAT’s pretty much right — it was a kevlar plate or some other kind of body armor.

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  22. I didn’t read all the comments so this may have already been said. But, seriously, if he was being fed answers and talking points, wouldn’t his responses been much better than they were? The fact that his responses were so lame and disorganized makes it highly unlikely anyone smarter was feeding him anything. Unless his handlers are just as bad…

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