First the South Beach Diet (a "good-carb" knockoff of Atkins' artery-clogging original) nearly kills former President Clinton. Now the maker of Twinkies and Wonder Bread is going bankrupt. Sure, the Official Story is all about oversized loans and an investigation into the reserve fund, but I know who's killing Interstate Bakeries Corp: a nation of wheat-phobic pansies afraid to chow down on the snacks that won World War II. J'accuse! And you too, Morgan Spurlock and John Banzhaf: When the Red Chinese raise their flag over D.C., I hope you'll take a bow.